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  • #16
    That was verbatim what he posted. He also posted one asking: "Q4u- when you hit rock bottom, then hit it again, you know you have an addiction and it's destroying every aspect of your life lost all friends yet you're too afraid to tell anyone how do you break the chain? What snapped you out?"

    I would post the actual tweets but I don't know how. These are his posts exactly as posted. I have nothing to gain but accusing him falsely. Either way, I'm leaving and either way, my children aren't his. The only difference is, I'm more scared now that I know he's being influenced chemically and I've heard of cocaine psychosis. This is about genuine fear about asking him to leave. Not about custody. Not about money. Just fearful and wondering the safest way to proceed. Lawyers tell you they're not trained in psychology and the counsellors say they don't know the legal ramifications. I'm trying to blend both in the safest manner possible. I'd like my children to have a mother at the end of this.

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    • #17
      I’m pretty sure you can file for exclusive possession but not be in the home temporarily for a couple of months. Get your paper work ready. Don’t tell him. Leave for a bit and have him served. Don’t stay in the house and let him have access to you or your children.

      Don’t try to diagnose him. Get out and keep safe. Also remember that a piece of paper (such as a court order for possession or a restraining order) means nothing. A police officer told me that when my ex was charged. He told me to get a safety plan together and stick to it.


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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      • #18
        Yes, looks like that was a copy paste error on my part. Not sure what happened there.

        I use this site on a cellphone.
        Last edited by tunnelight; 08-11-2019, 11:31 PM.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Frostrated View Post
          He is not the biological father of my children. Thankfully, we don't have kids together.
          How long has he known kids for? Do the kids see him as a father figure? Will you have any interest in seeking child support from him? Will he have any interest in wanting to see the kids? Do the kids have any interest in wanting to keep in contact with him?

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          • #20
            We've been married six years. The kids liked him for the first two years because he was fun. Two years in he became a total recluse. Aside from work, he only came out of the bedroom at dinner and didn't talk to anyone. Just sat and ate his meal, put his plate in the dishwasher and back upstairs he went. The kids resent that he's lived here without helping around the house at all...doesn't cook, doesn't help clean up after meals, doesn't shovel, doesn't take the garbage out, doesn't mow the lawn....nothing. He doesn't talk to them and they don't talk to him. He even has jealousy toward my son and says I treat him like my husband. It's sick and twisted. I don't want any support from him, nor do the kids want a relationship with him. His own biological son has refused to talk to him for the past two years, though I've never been told why by either of them. My husband claims he doesn't know why but now I'm questioning that.

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            • #21
              If you truly don't love him then I would just let him know you want a simple divorce. Sell the home 50.50 and move on.

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              • #22
                Well, a year ago that might have worked but since the cocaine, he's been a jumble of erratic behaviour and irrational reasoning. I'm in a crappy position.

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                • #23
                  Go to your local courthouse and file for a peace bond. They will serve him and the two of you will have to appear before a judge. You feel threatened. Judge very well may order the two of you have to stay xx-meters apart and give him order not to contact you directly but to direct through your lawyer. Typically they order the peace bond on both parties (judges like to appear fair).

                  This is serious. Under no conditions should you contact him. Stop the email now. You owe it to yourself and your family to take this inexpensive step towards legally banning him from contacting you anymore.

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                  • #24
                    I have tried to stop all contact. Last week, he went off on me about how I've been so deceitful and what a liar I am. He said he dropped off the signed separation agreement on my daughter's birthday and left them on the porch with some candy for her (she's 14!). He's lying. My son was home all day and the dogs would have notified him someone was at our door, because they go berserk. Plus, he had a shopping addiction and for three months, packages arrived on my porch every single day. Nothing was stolen. He accused me of lying and said not to say I didn't get the papers if I really did.

                    Then an hour later, he said that if I met him for dinner, I can bring a copy of the agreement and he would sign the papers right there on the spot. When I told him he can send the signed papers to my lawyer, he flipped. Told me he's going to search out my kids' dad and "set shit straight". Threatened that I would have to repay all my child support (which was not based on my marital status). I finally told him that would be the last time he is to email, text or call me ever again. I said if he did, I would consider it harassment.

                    The next day he made a new email address and sent me two more. One apologizing to me for something and the second one claiming he has a mental illness and that's why he sends emails that he loves me and misses me, but the angry ones are because I provoke him.

                    I can't stop him from making new emails and my lawyer said if he doesn't threaten me or my kids, we can't get a restraining order. I'm having a security camera installed tomorrow but this isn't right. I shouldn't feel scared in my own home. I'm at a loss.

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                    • #25
                      Let him send you emails. Ignore them. If it isnt someone you know or a list you are on, delete it. Or change your email address and let the people closest to you know.

                      You CAN ignore him.

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                      • #26
                        I was going to change my email but I have so many accounts linked to it. I'll just have to keep ignoring but it's really not fair that if I say no contact, he continues. We don't share children together, so there is no reason for him to need to contact me. I thought it was going to be easier since there's no custody issue but he's making it so much harder than necessary.

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                        • #27
                          When he stops getting a reaction he will move on. As long as he is getting a response he will continue. That includes anything like please contact my lawyer. Until he provides the paperwork to your lawyer there is nothing to say. If he delays too long, file a motion to get it done. Period.

                          He feeds on the contact and as long as he thinks he had your attention he will continue.

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                          • #28
                            You're totally right. He doesn't care how I respond, as long as I do. My concern is, that he refuses to tell me where he lives, so I have no idea how we would serve him.

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                            • #29
                              Have a process server pull his driver’s license
                              Or get court permission to serve him by email

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Kinso View Post
                                Have a process server pull his driver’s license
                                Or get court permission to serve him by email
                                Thank you!

                                Comment

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