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  • Failing post secondary

    Asking for a friend...

    Kid is 21. No learning issues or disabilities. Took two years to complete one high school credit. Dad sought to stop cs and kid finished and enrolled in college. Final order stated kid would advise dad of progress, grades and attendance at school. Dad is required to pay cs, $1500 toward OSAP each year and books. Mom is on disability and will lose benefits if kid isnt in school. Kid failed first year but plans on going back next year.

    Based on four years of fails and lack of effort, age of 21, no proof of registration for September and failure to provide updates throughout the year, can dad really file to stop cs? Mom depends on the monthly cs and strike impacted kid at school. If kid isn’t in school he has to move out. Can she win?

  • #2
    Originally posted by youngdad91 View Post
    Mom will have to come up with a different way to cover her salon expenses.

    Well, I won't jump on the mom-bashing wagon quite that badly, but she really is milking both the disability AND child support systems here from the sounds of it, having the child coast along aimlessly just to stay in school so she stays eligible for both forms of money.


    She really ought to have a plan in place for when the child is someday independent and disability lowers and CS ends. But some people are not planners like that.


    Does this child work when not in school? Does the child struggle in school for some relevant reason, or is just lazy and entitled? Does the child have career plans, or is just taking after mom and intend to mooch off others as long as possible?



    I don't know much about how disability works, but what is their normal process for when a recipient's child becomes independent? What if the recipient didn't have an ex or get CS? What are the regulations for support for an adult child in school? Step one for your friend is to learn all he can about disability. Always do the research first, and make decisions armed with all the knowledge.



    Then when approaching court, he can present what he knows of the child's plans, what he knows of the mom's strategy towards milking disability, etc. Put forward that he would be happy to pay the child directly if the child starts taking school seriously, but would prefer not to support the continued milking of both systems for the mom's gain. The child is an adult, has had four years of post-18 CS, and chosen not to apply themselves to develop an education or career. It is time to stop supporting that.


    The fact that the mom is on disability and how that system works with a child in school is irrelevant to the CS case.

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    • #3
      I am certainly no expert, but I would think kid needs proof of school registration. Can’t see moms financial circumstances having any impact. I’m going to assume the disability is genuine and not fabricated and I can sympathize that disability certainly wouldn’t provide much income but kid needs to be in school to qualify for CS in my opinion and mom will have to figure out a financial strategy without the CS and dependent child portion of the disability. It’s not fair to dad to be mandated CS for an adult child not in school. He can certainly help kid if he chooses but imo shouldn’t be obligated without proof of school enrolment.

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      • #4
        Kid gets pretty much full OSAP grants for school. Dad had to pay for the equipment. Kid is capable, they pulled up their socks when necessary but learned they can’t coast and sit on their ass. Im not sure what the cut off is for kids with disability. Im going to assume that 25 may be the magic number and with Ford in govt I cant see him taking pity on social assistance recipients. Harris slashed them significantly in the 90s. Kid can’t work or mom loses benefits. Its just a question of how long do you allow the failures to go on? Do you accept the excuse that the school strike impacted one semester and kid will do better or do you say forget it, youre a 21 yo freshman for the second time and need to learn responsibility?

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        • #5
          To update... turns out kid dropped the fall semester and then failed the winter one.

          Two questions hes asking:

          1. How do you go about getting transcripts from the conferences?

          2. How does he fast track this to avoid the conferences?

          The judge in his last conference told mom and the kid no more chances. Kid either pulls their shit together or dad stops cs. The order even says if kid isn’t in school and doesn’t tell dad, dad can file to stop cs.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by rockscan View Post
            Based on four years of fails and lack of effort, age of 21, no proof of registration for September and failure to provide updates throughout the year, can dad really file to stop cs? Mom depends on the monthly cs and strike impacted kid at school. If kid isn’t in school he has to move out. Can she win?
            Most of the case law I have read seems to end up with a decision such that if the child is making even the most feeble attempt at education, CS will not be stopped. The argument is that the kid is trying, and any good parent would want to support that attempt.

            The judge in his last conference told mom and the kid no more chances. Kid either pulls their shit together or dad stops cs.
            I remain skeptical. It is like a gatekeeping mother being warned that she might eventually lose custody. Sure, it can happen, but there are about ten warnings to be issued before the consequence is actually applied.

            The order even says if kid isn’t in school and doesn’t tell dad, dad can file to stop cs.
            Kid will take one course a semester, and he doesn't even have to pass. That clause is not terribly helpful. You don't even need an order to do that. If a kid is not in school and is over 18, you can file to stop CS even without prior permission from the courts. It would be like a clause saying "if the child dies, the father has the right to apply to stop CS".

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            • #7
              Do they keep transcripts of case conferences? From what he told me, at the settlement conference the judge was strict with mom and told her in uncertain terms she had no more chances. If kid failed to be in school or take it seriously, judge would agree that cs stop. Mom is now saying all that pressure made kid fail. Historically though, kid dropped out of high school, took two courses a semester at a special school and then pulled their shit together to get their diploma when dad filed to stop cs.

              How does he go about avoiding the conference cycle again? Can he ask for the same judge?

              The biggest problem isn’t so much the cs but the other items in the order for school. He’s been ordered to pay an amount to OSAP and books in August. Kid doesn’t need new books as its a repeat of the first year and paying OSAP is bs since kid dropped out and failed.

              Comment

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