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  • #16
    Here's my opinion on the whole thing. My Ex was abusive to me and out of fear I hesitated a long time before finally pressing charges and having him arrested ... there was always the possibility that things would improve, that with more patience it would stop. Big mistake ...

    Regardless of how he treated me, he was a good father. Had he been violent towards our son, just once - there would have been cops on my doorstep the very same day! When it comes to protecting the kid, there's no hesitation ...... If OP is that concerned over the child's welfare why wait all this time?

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Janibel View Post
      Here's my opinion on the whole thing. My Ex was abusive to me and out of fear I hesitated a long time before finally pressing charges and having him arrested ... there was always the possibility that things would improve, that with more patience it would stop. Big mistake ...

      Regardless of how he treated me, he was a good father. Had he been violent towards our son, just once - there would have been cops on my doorstep the very same day! When it comes to protecting the kid, there's no hesitation ...... If OP is that concerned over the child's welfare why wait all this time?
      Because it wasn't needed. Because it was just fabricated NOW...

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      • #18
        Janibel said it.

        If there was one instance of child abuse .. any good mother or father would call the authorities. I know I would. CAS is here for that reason. Did she? Nope. She'll send pictures .. show up at a mall to rub in his face what she's willing to allow for access and wonder why he's upset about it.

        Janibel is one of the posters here who has endured nightmares. And still she can put that aside for her child, realizing he's a good dad. But she's right .. child abuse = call authorities. Not deny access later during custody/access stuff. Gross.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Mother View Post
          Because it wasn't needed. Because it was just fabricated NOW...
          You could be right, your could be wrong? We have no way of knowing what really happened here do we - not from what little explanation was given.
          Bottom line is this, if you or your child are being abused (defining what abuse is seems to be the issue here) call the cops or CAS immediately and let them figure it out. If it's serious, they WILL press charges for you.

          You can't simply up and decide that a parent is guilty and then take away their rights to be with their own child. Doesn't work that way.

          *** or at least it shouldn't.
          Last edited by Janibel; 11-10-2014, 07:30 PM. Reason: taking the BS into account.

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          • #20
            Let's pretend for a second that he really is a terrible person and there is a legitimate concern.

            What are the OPs options if she truly did fail to report any of this previously, and it was simply an oversight on her part?

            Let's just humour this one.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Janibel View Post
              When it comes to protecting the kid, there's no hesitation ...... If OP is that concerned over the child's welfare why wait all this time?
              And this is what the judge will tell her.

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              • #22
                Parenting classes.
                short but frequent access.
                Supervised access.
                Home assessment by 3rd party.
                MEANINGFUL relationship between dad and baby.
                Mom cooperates fully and stops micromanaging.
                Mom is not gate keeper.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Straittohell View Post
                  Let's pretend for a second that he really is a terrible person and there is a legitimate concern.

                  What are the OPs options if she truly did fail to report any of this previously, and it was simply an oversight on her part?

                  Let's just humour this one.
                  When it comes to your child's safety there shouldn't be oversight's. IMO.

                  If it was of such little significance that it was overseen and no authorities called this man doesn't need supervision. IMO

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                  • #24
                    The OP asked for "what are her options". Note: word "options".

                    I don't get impression she really wants options.

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                    • #25
                      Options = strategy
                      strategy = full custody
                      full custody = $$$ and control

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                      • #26
                        When someone tells you that a baby is being mistreated, you investigate, you dont shrug it off because of any past behavior of either parent. These are serious questionable behavior towards an innocent child, that as an adult you should never shrug turn a blind eye towards.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by confused0123 View Post
                          When someone tells you that a baby is being mistreated, you investigate, you dont shrug it off because of any past behavior of either parent. These are serious questionable behavior towards an innocent child, that as an adult you should never shrug turn a blind eye towards.
                          CAS investigates. Why didn't you call them when it happened? Again .. hope you have your proof that he abuses children. I doubt you do. Yes, there is serious questionable behavior going on here. I agree.

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                          • #28
                            When someone tells you that a baby is being mistreated, you investigate, you dont shrug it off because of any past behavior of either parent. These are serious questionable behavior towards an innocent child, that as an adult you should never shrug turn a blind eye towards.
                            Actually how it works is that when you see someone abusing YOUR child, YOU call CAS. Its your responsibility and duty to do so. No one here shrugged it off...you did...well, at least until it became beneficial for you to make the allegation.

                            Regardless, my advice to you at this point would be to seek OCL involvement in your case if your ex has filed for access.
                            <!-- / message -->

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                            • #29
                              Here's what's likely to happen:

                              Judge: Ms Confused why are you denying access of child to Mr. Confused?
                              you: because he was abusive towards the baby.
                              Judge: did you call the police?
                              you: no
                              Judge: did you alert CAS?
                              you: no
                              Judge: what proof do you have of these allegations?
                              you: because I say so
                              Judge: ?????

                              In other words if this goes to court, it will probably go 50/50 and I doubt that your ex will require supervision simply because you lack proof that it is required.

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                              • #30
                                In other words if this goes to court, it will probably go 50/50 and I doubt that your ex will require supervision simply because you lack proof that it is required.
                                Or OCL will be requested to get involved.

                                Comment

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