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  • How do you do it? (kinda long...)

    I'm sure my hubby and I are not the only ones...so I'm looking for advice or thoughts about how to deal with the ex....

    Right now, my hubby ( we are commanlaw) has had his ex served with divorce papers. Before she was served things were 'tensely civil' shall we say. There would be arguements, accusations by her towards hubby for just about everything under the sun. She is not what I'd call 'all there'..if you know what I mean. And I do not mean to be disrespectful in any way, but she has some pretty nutty ideas about things. For example, we took the child shopping for back to school supplies and he came across these shoes which he thought were the coolest things ever created..lol So I said 'sure lets buy them'. When his mom found out she went nutso...not that we bought him shoes..but that we bought him shoes from WALMART...and not for the reason you might think..she said he couldn't wear the shoes because if he wore shoes from Walmart he would get plantar warts I kid you not..

    Her calling up screaming and yelling irrationally is not every day but often enough, and for no good reason I might add. And although I do understand as my childrens father and I are divorced..it doesn't require everyone to be best friends..how you do cope with a whole lot of irrationality and weird accusations, she brings up things in which she feels she was wronged from 15 years ago, accuses hubby of being an awful parents because when he was with us during the summer we didn't take him to Wonderland.. She pulls power trips in regards to access, we live about 3.5 hours away and its beyond frustrating to travel all that way only to come away without the child.

    I'm at a loss. I've advised hubby to not get drawn into the screaming matches and suggested he tell her that if she wants to have a conversation where both sides get equal time to be heard thats fine..but if she wants to flip out and have a fit she'll have to find someone else to inflict it upon.

    Any advice would be extremely helpful..we've thought about restraining orders, and even going for full custody to ensure my hubby gets to see his son and his son has a normal stable environment to thrive in....

  • #2
    jlalex,

    I would document all these occurrences and denials of the child's access. It would look good on her if she does it often. It does question her ability to act in the ongoing responsibility of looking after the child. A parent centered on the child's interest would not be vindictive and deny the child's access at the last moment without notice.

    A lot of parent's attempt to demonstrate that they is no co-operation for a joint custody regime to work, but courts are aware of this tactic. If I was your husband, I would bring forth an application or bring forth a motion to vary the current custody order. If there is a current custody order in place, the onus would be on your husband to proof a material change before the courts would hear a motion to vary custody.

    lv

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    • #3
      Thanks LV

      We've been logging all of these 'events' as well as keeping copies of he v-mail messages she has been leaving.

      I just feel bad for the boy, being a kid is hard enough these days without being treated like the rope in a game of tug-of-war

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