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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 03-21-2011, 09:47 PM is offline
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Default He is claiming spousal support

I've been with him for 12 years, 8 of which, married.
He did not provider much financially.
He didn't do anything at home to help nor did he do anything to help my carreer, to the contrary, he even discouraged me from getting a promotion.
We have no kids.
He was fully able to work... He kept telling me he'd look for work. He did work once in a while, then would quit because the work wa below him.
He was a good talker. Made me believe I was useless, unable to function without him.
And I'm skipping the whole chapter about him not wanting any sex and talking down about my family and friends.

I suggested couples counseling years ago, he didn't want to go.
I went. I took therapy thinking if I become a better person, easier to live with, it might help.

Then one day without thinking about it before hand, not having planned anything, the words came out of my mouth to my own surprise: I'm done - we're done.

That was Christmas Eve 2009.

Since then he refused to sign any separation paper. He doesn't disagree to get a divorce, but he doesn't do anything! Mind you, all we have together are debts because mister was too lazy to work.
Now he wants Spousal Support.

Why would I pay him any Spousal Support??

He freeloaded from me for years, now he's on social assistance while he's doing his GED at 41 years old. I kept suggesting to him to go back to school while I was paying everything, but no, he wasn't up to it. Now since the government will pay for him while he's in school, you and I, tax payers, we're all supporting him. But again... why should I pay Spousal Support??
Old 03-21-2011, 10:11 PM
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dadtotheend dadtotheend is offline
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Because you stayed in the relationship long enough to make it a medium term cohab/marriage.

You gave implied consent to the arrangment by not leaving it earlier.

You could be on the hook for SS for a duration of around six years.
Old 03-21-2011, 10:40 PM
WorkingDAD WorkingDAD is offline
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Nothing personal but at least once a while different )) ... I am not supporting anyone who leave from other people does not matter woman or man ...
Old 03-21-2011, 10:54 PM
dinkyface dinkyface is offline
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Ok, but irrelevant.
Old 03-22-2011, 12:02 AM
BitHunter BitHunter is offline
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Can you imagine how many men asked the same question???
Old 03-22-2011, 01:18 AM
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Rioe Rioe is offline
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Better to pay him for six or so years than to keep living with him! Sure, it rankles, but it will be over some day, and without kids, you can then wash your hands and be done with him forever. And it sounds like you'll probably have more to show for it despite six years of paying him than he'll have for his six years of getting your money.

But look up imputing income. You can likely arrange to have a minimum wage or more assigned to him and then only pay spousal support to top that up.

And if he wants spousal support, he's going to have to sign an agreement first. So you get something out of it!
Old 03-22-2011, 09:34 AM
atlanticcanadian atlanticcanadian is offline
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Default How much spousal support

How long would spousal support be if you were married for 21, lived together for two years before married and I have a disability that limits my ability to work
Old 03-22-2011, 09:38 AM
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Atlantic ... can you start your own thread please so that the OP can get an answer to her own question?
Old 03-22-2011, 11:18 AM
About_Time About_Time is offline
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The thing you have to dissociate in your brain quickly when facing a divorce are the concepts of deserving spousal support and being eligible for spousal support. Your ex - much like mine and many others here - probably doesn't deserve SS, but they will likely get it anyway because they are eligible for it under the law.

Your focus here shouldn't be on the unfairness of the situation, but rather what you can do to minimize that unfairness. As mentioned, fight for an imputed income and clearly defined term then suck it up and pay. If you can negotiate something reasonable, that's the way to go. You can often get them agree to accept less than the court might impune if you structure it right.

My ex refused to work and her deceptive financial practices forced me into debt and bankruptcy, yet I still had to pay her SS and equalization. It was a hard pill to swallow, especially in the beginning. At the end of the day, it helped me to view it as a fee: I was paying $17,000 to not be married to her anymore. Steep, but worth it.
Old 03-22-2011, 11:23 AM
Zhoozhelitsa Zhoozhelitsa is offline
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I have no idea. I thought if one person had to stay home in order to do concrete, objective tasks (raising kids, for instance) which prevented that person from advancement, then spousal support would be reasonable to expect. Doesn't sound like your case though.

But maybe someone who knows the law will come by and explain.
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