Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > General Chat

General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 10-30-2012, 02:41 PM
ringettteplayer ringettteplayer is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: ontario
Posts: 421
ringettteplayer is on a distinguished road
Default outrageous bs!!

sooo now my stbx remember the one who bought the house in alberta (his wife and kids) lived in ontario) and he moved never to return,

He moved the mortgage, doesn't pay child support, doesn't ask to see the kids, doesn't contact them regularly and when/ if he does its very mom won't let you see me etc., (bs) the last time i texted him was sep 26 he replied if i texted him again that he would charge me with harrassment,

and if you remember I brought the kids to alberta in july after he hadn;t seen them for 4 months and asked if he would like to visit with them for a week? He agreed then to turn around the next day and tell me he could only keep them for 5 days, he called the RCMP on me saying that I was harrassing him

now for the cherry....

his lawyer is coming after me because he says that I denied him access and visitation!!! WTF?? and that because he doesn;t pay me support i deny him access with the kids??!!! this is nothing but bull, anyone who has followed my posts know that he texts, emails the kids etc.,

Any idea what this is about?? how can he say that I deny him? He never asks to see the kids??

Won't he have to prove his accusations??
I have never ever denied him access he told me awhile back he was going to prove me unstable... but my thinking is if I was unstable why did he purchase a house and move and leave the children with me if I was so unstable??

input thanks?!!
  #2  
Old 10-30-2012, 03:18 PM
OhMy's Avatar
OhMy OhMy is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 412
OhMy is on a distinguished road
Default

Eventually, yes he would have to prove his allegations. In the meantime- he seems to be trying to save face, reputation etc.

It's nothing more than bs. He is trying to rattle you and secure his position (give his excuses) for why he hasn't seen the kids or paid support.

He lives in a different reality and will make up stories. If you haven't already- review all your messages, documentation from him and hopefully your journal as well. See your not crazy!

Part of it could be gaslighting. Breath.. You know the real story. Don't react- that is what he wants.
  #3  
Old 10-30-2012, 03:59 PM
arabian's Avatar
arabian arabian is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 10,668
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

Your stbx is likely stuck in that phase that was talked about in another thread. This phase is what I like to refer to as "believes one's own bullshit." What I've been able to ascertain is that he lies by omission by not telling his lawyer important details. Then the lawyer tells the client whatever they want to hear. All this adds up to is large legal bills for anyone who wants to take the bait. I've been on this ride for quite a while now. My position is to pretty much ignore everything, keep track of this ridiculous allegation, but don't take the bait. I'd wait till he files something in court. Onus is on him to prove his allegations. If you are feeling particularly wealthy you could call him on his bullshit and have your lawyer respond. Don't think it will help you in any way.
  #4  
Old 10-30-2012, 04:39 PM
caranna caranna is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 908
caranna is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ringettteplayer View Post

his lawyer is coming after me because he says that I denied him access and visitation!!! WTF?? and that because he doesn;t pay me support i deny him access with the kids??!!! this is nothing but bull, anyone who has followed my posts know that he texts, emails the kids etc.,

Any idea what this is about?? how can he say that I deny him? He never asks to see the kids??

Won't he have to prove his accusations??
I have never ever denied him access he told me awhile back he was going to prove me unstable... but my thinking is if I was unstable why did he purchase a house and move and leave the children with me if I was so unstable??

input thanks?!!
I've been down that road with my 2bx. The first letter his lawyer sent to mine after I left contained the false accusations that I was "irrational and unpredictable." The 2bx also wrote letters and uttered false accusations against me to my family and organizations, including a crisis centre, saying I was "unwell in mind and body" and also suicidal. All this, I surmise, was to make me look mentally ill so no-one would believe me if I finally let others know that he physically, emotionally and mentally abused me throughout our very long marriage. He is a very well-known businessman in our city and surrounding area.

I never retaliated in kind, and neither did my lawyer. And always in my mind was that if he knew how much he hurt me with those lies, he would be vengefully ecstatic the entire week.

I know how you feel. It hurts when the man you once loved turns on you and tries to make your life hell. Try not to let it bother you. Confiding in a counsellor can really help.

Keep on giving your children extra love and attention and don't let your naturally optimistic attitude turn to bitterness. This is what he wants. He wants to destroy you. You are strong and will survive and thrive!
  #5  
Old 10-30-2012, 06:01 PM
ringettteplayer ringettteplayer is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: ontario
Posts: 421
ringettteplayer is on a distinguished road
Default

Hi everyone thanks so much for your replies! And for your encouragement!

I do believe his motive is to destroy me, which is crazy because he left us for another woman he chose another life!!

With saying that does his bank account and credit cards come into mention upon his accusations should we go to court? I know he took he g/f to Vegas, and Montreal he bought a 60 000 pickup, a 400,000 home and god only knows what he bought her!!
all within 7 months of our split!! Does a lawyer or a judge take those things into account??
  #6  
Old 10-30-2012, 06:10 PM
OhMy's Avatar
OhMy OhMy is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 412
OhMy is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ringettteplayer View Post
Hi everyone thanks so much for your replies! And for your encouragement!

I do believe his motive is to destroy me, which is crazy because he left us for another woman he chose another life!!

With saying that does his bank account and credit cards come into mention upon his accusations should we go to court? I know he took he g/f to Vegas, and Montreal he bought a 60 000 pickup, a 400,000 home and god only knows what he bought her!!
all within 7 months of our split!! Does a lawyer or a judge take those things into account??
No and yes.


No as it would not be considered regarding financial division as its as of the seperation date.

What he chose to do after he left is his business.

Yes in a sense as it points to a personality issue. While you can not diagnose or label him you can point out facts. It would need to be cautiously mentioned though as he could turn it around to suggest you are spiteful and jealous (and I know you are not).
  #7  
Old 10-30-2012, 06:50 PM
TiredOfTheDrama TiredOfTheDrama is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 105
TiredOfTheDrama is on a distinguished road
Default

In a perfect world, you'll be awarded full table amounts for CS. Forward all text messages to email, and print off all correspondence you've had with him since the day he moved.

At this point who cares what he has or trips he has taken? The new gf got vacations, a car and a house, but she also got a cheat. That fact will cause them both insecurities and trust issues when the bloom is off the rose. You're well rid of him, let karma take care of the rest.
  #8  
Old 10-30-2012, 06:55 PM
OhMy's Avatar
OhMy OhMy is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 412
OhMy is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredOfTheDrama View Post
In a perfect world, you'll be awarded full table amounts for CS. Forward all text messages to email, and print off all correspondence you've had with him since the day he moved.

At this point who cares what he has or trips he has taken? The new gf got vacations, a car and a house, but she also got a cheat. That fact will cause them both insecurities and trust issues when the bloom is off the rose. You're well rid of him, let karma take care of the rest.
Well said and I fully agree!
  #9  
Old 10-30-2012, 07:37 PM
ringettteplayer ringettteplayer is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: ontario
Posts: 421
ringettteplayer is on a distinguished road
Default hmmm

hi again thanks for the relpies!! i think i worded my question incorrectly!! I am fully aware of how much of a cheat he is and I couldn;t be happier i wish i could be divorced by the end of today! haha

i was only mentioning those items by means of won't the judge see those things vs him not paying support! He is claiming i won;t let him see the kids because he doesnt pay child support for his children, the truth is he threatend me with harrassment charges if i contact him, and he emails me threatening emails and texts and i don;t respond, but in those texts and emails he never requests visitation with the kids,

so when i serve him for spousal and child support and the divorce papers he is going to have to disclose finances and expenses no??

and yes he is very good at spinning things around to make me look bitter and jealous this whole thing seems so childish and ridiculous, I get it you (the dad) want out of the marriage, you dont want to be a parent so there fore you shouldn;t have to pay spousal or child support (duhh))

does that sound more like reality!! frustrating
  #10  
Old 10-30-2012, 07:53 PM
OhMy's Avatar
OhMy OhMy is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 412
OhMy is on a distinguished road
Default

Judges frown on parents that do not pay cs, regardless of reason.

It is one of the things that make them very upset. That karma thing will come into play here- just try not to smile when the judge lays into him.
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:38 AM.