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  #1  
Old 08-20-2018, 02:40 PM
Grenade Grenade is offline
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Wish I got here earlier in the year, just separated in April and going through the process, blended family , son 10 stepdaughter 13. We tried mutual agreement , but couldn't happen fast enough for her. Now its going through the court process which is a learning curve. I do find this to be stressfull and emotional . What was once , is no more. I am looking forward to the other side but don't feel it will be equal. I am nervous and skeptical about the court process. Putting my fait and future in the hands of a failed court system from my perspective, does not bo well with me. Especially since the ex is doing all she can to show no income. I have been able to see my son 3 days a week , but stepdaughter is always busy or does not want to go . I really hope the facts show up in court. Her biggest fight right now is she will not budge on her having full custody / guardianship . But as I type this , we have shared , court decision not made yet and I don't plan on giving anything up . But it does boil down to $$$, I am sure she would be more likely to negotiate the rest if I gave it up . But don't want to give up on any rights. that's just the tip of what I am in .. So hello, thankyou , from B.C. Yep we are a province in a state of emergency again due to wildfires !
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  #2  
Old 08-21-2018, 12:58 PM
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Janus Janus is offline
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I have been able to see my son 3 days a week , but stepdaughter is always busy or does not want to go. But as I type this , we have shared
You have 42%, maybe less depending on which days you have and the specific timing in which you have the kids. That is barely shared. Why don't you have 50%?

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Especially since the ex is doing all she can to show no income.
What was her income while you were married? Why has it changed?
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Old 08-22-2018, 02:53 PM
Grenade Grenade is offline
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Her income was a good portion cash, and we were divided , an actual amount has yet to be determined, She has not yet provided any information on her financial statement , other than claiming she is on Ei, and as far as having the kid/kids 50 % she will not agree to this. In fact she is pulling away and reducing my time , I have had weekends and the days during the week but she is now restricting this ,claiming my son doesn't want to . I did do the form and it does indicate alienation, I consulted with my lawyer and she says this is a common tactic used . I am not sure what to do and its tearing me up.
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Old 08-22-2018, 04:16 PM
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I have had weekends and the days during the week but she is now restricting this ,claiming my son doesn't want to.
This is a major issue. How is she restricting this? How do you react when she tells you that your son will be staying with her during your agreed upon parenting time? Are you acquiescing or are you sending stern email messages indicating that you do not agree with her unilateral change in the parenting schedule? Do you demand makeup time when she makes these unilateral changes?

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I did do the form and it does indicate alienation
This isn't alienation yet. I suspect it is mostly you rolling over and playing dead. You cannot expect your son to fight this battle for you, you have to fight it. I'll say it again: Your cannot wait for your son to intervene and tell the parent that he spends almost his entire time with that he wishes to spend less time with her. He may believe it, but he is 10, and 10 is way too young to have that kind of pressure. 10-year olds just try to make everybody happy. Since you are not around, his focus is on making mom happy.

How much time have you been actually getting the last couple of weeks? It sounds like it is less than the "3 days a week" you first implied.

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Her income was a good portion cash, and we were divided , an actual amount has yet to be determined, She has not yet provided any information on her financial statement , other than claiming she is on Ei
I would not worry about this too much yet. As it stands you are likely going to end up as a non-custodial parent which means that her income will be of almost no relevance. If she doesn't provide financial info it might hurt her at trial, but only in terms of spousal support and maybe a bit on something called S7 expenses. Assume she will do a financial disclosure at some point. Right now your focus should be custody, and nothing else.

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I am not sure what to do and its tearing me up.
I know . It is terrible. What is your lawyer recommending? Why are you writing on this forum instead of moving forward in court? Every day that you are not in court, you are building up a status quo that says that you don't get your son...
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Old 08-22-2018, 06:03 PM
Grenade Grenade is offline
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Currently getting 2 overnight mid week and weekends. There has been no set schedule, we have been modifying as we go , due to everyones schedule. Your replies are the truth and I am lacking confidence in disputing. Lack of knowledge , and overwhelmed. My lawyer wants another consult and her only reply was this is a tactic used and we must push back. I am in court on sept 11. i wasn't prepared for this fight, But I AM going to fight. Thank you . This is why i am here.
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Old 08-22-2018, 06:12 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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Are you seeking time with your step daughter too?
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Old 08-22-2018, 07:20 PM
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I have been requesting it but she is either busy babysitting , or already had plans, she is close to 14, and not sure how to approach this. But I have only been requesting it with step daughter . I would like her to be apart of it all but am not going to force her to do something unwantingly, she has had some recent contact with her real father but not sure where that is going, if anywhere.
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Old 08-22-2018, 10:01 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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I wonder if you will have to pay child support for the step daughter?
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Old 08-23-2018, 12:26 AM
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Currently getting 2 overnight mid week and weekends.
That's 4/7, or maybe even 5/7, both of which are more than 50%. How many days in the last 14 has your son actually been with you?

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There has been no set schedule, we have been modifying as we go , due to everyones schedule.
Who decides? Whose schedule is it based on? How is it decided... do you guys meet and have a pow wow? Do you discuss it over email? How have you handled disagreements?

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I am in court on sept 11.
Is this a case conference? Nothing much will get ordered there, you need to get a shared custody situation established ASAP. How is your lawyer getting you to shared custody?

Have you proposed a schedule? If not, why not? Make an offer to settle parenting time and send it... like... today.
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Old 08-23-2018, 12:29 AM
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I wonder if you will have to pay child support for the step daughter?
Likely yes, but I'm not sure if there is much he can do about it. He needs to be focused on his son.
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