Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Financial Issues

Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 04-21-2018, 10:36 PM
Unevenplayingground Unevenplayingground is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 371
Unevenplayingground is on a distinguished road
Default CS when Child is away at school

So I have tried searching for this info on this site and can't seem to find anything.

It is a bit complicated, so hopefully I will explain this properly, I am really hoping for some solid advice to make sure the most fair/legal solution is concluded. Keep in mind this is one side of the story, I realize that and am trying to be as honest as possible.

Scenario:

Son lives with mother full time since age 11. Father had extremely close relationship with son until he was posted, he had him about 80-85% of the time. Bitter custody battle, son wanted to move with dad, it was decided son would stay with mom. At that point the relationship between father and son started to deteriorate. Mother would manipulate son to turn him against dad, long history.

Skip to 6 years later, son refuses to talk to father, has not gotten on two purchased flights to see father. Have offered to pay for counseling for son, hoping to help him process whatever is going on, allow him to tell dad why he is so upset, always refused. The mother just states it is normal kid stuff, he will come "around".

Dad is always excluded from any and all major decisions (even though court order specifies those decisions should be discussed together). Dad was just told this month that son applied to colleges/universities. Ex emailed dad three days ago saying his son accepted an offer for school. Then said he needs $4,100 for residency by 1 July and is he going to help pay that. The dad has been told for the last six years that school was covered entirely because son has aboriginal status, the band he belongs to is rather large and has more resources, IF he is approved, he will have all residence/education/books/living expenses/two trips home per year, paid for. Was also told he applied for student loan, and his grant should be substantial, son has also applied to bursary/grants, etc (won't know for a bit if he gets any), dad was told. Son also just got a cheque from Canada Pension Disability this month for over $5,500 and will continue to get a monthly cheque while in school full time.

So here is my question. Dad's last payment for CS was to end in June. Ex got mad because dad asked why son would need help with school if it ends up being covered, which won't be known right away? She would not answer questions as to proof of costs versus entitlements, etc. And is now saying she has applied to have the CS reinstated after June, current court order ends in June. Son's crse runs from Sep to Jun, two years. So dad is not sure what should fairly be expected to pay for cs/school. Son won't be living at home for 10 months out of the year, dad has no idea what is being covered for his education. Does anybody have any experience, or can anybody think of case law that dad can review?

I would appreciate constructive criticism, or actual experience. Dad is dealing with a very high conflict ex and she is a huge trigger for him, he has PTSD, so if anybody has any advice how to keep this from blowing up further that would be great.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 04-21-2018, 11:20 PM
arabian's Avatar
arabian arabian is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 10,668
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

Sounds like you are dealing with much uncertainty. I'd simply ask the mother to put everything in writing and include as much information as she can.

Don't know how you know about a 5,500.00 disability if son and father are not speaking to one another.

Sounds like a lot of "what ifs" at this point.

Congratulations on having a son who is accepted to college (I'd ask for all documentation including acceptance letter and proof of registration, etc.).

First Nations and disabled? Sounds like this young man won't have financial problems which so many young people experience.

CS doesn't just stop. I believe you have to apply to have it ended so I don't know what the mother is talking about unless she voluntarily arranged to have it stopped before?

Hopefully the two parents will calm down and work something out so their son goes to college. Sounds like they are both in favor of it so that's something positive....
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-21-2018, 11:50 PM
Unevenplayingground Unevenplayingground is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 371
Unevenplayingground is on a distinguished road
Default

Hi Arabian,

Thanks for replying.

Yes, before dad knew he was going to secondary school both parents completed paperwork to have the cs to cease this June. At the time the paperwork was filled out dad's ex knew the son would be going to school, but didn't tell the dad that. The judge approved it and the order was made. Not sure if i'm wording that right.

But I did find a couple case law where cs was only paid during the months the child is home, have you ever heard of that? Basically my understanding is because he is not incurring expenses in the home while he is away at school...

Dad's son is in a great spot financially. I think the son will be walking away with literally zero student loan debt, pretty lucky.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 04-22-2018, 02:02 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 4,739
rockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

It doesnt matter what your agreement says. The law is the principle you follow.

CS is paid during the summer and judges CAN order a reduced amount of CS during the year but she would have to argue for it.

You will be on the hook for school costs of rent/residence, meals, tuition and books. BUT if he receives grants and subsidies, those come off the top. If he has no tuition and book costs then you pay nothing.

Your first step will be to ask for documentation. The bill he received, the statements about grants and subsidies etc. You may also want to do some research yourself. Look into what is offered to kid based on your knowledge. Im sure a google search of the school and first nations post secondary should turn up some info. You could also call the school registrars office and simple ask for info for first nations students.

You need to calm down and take a deep breath. Your son is going to school. You will have to pay something, you just need to figure out how much. Dont take your exs word for it, ask for documentation and do some research. Ask for the bill to pay the school directly. If she balks you know something is up.

If shes filing paperwork with the court you will have an opportunity to respond.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 04-22-2018, 07:03 PM
Unevenplayingground Unevenplayingground is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 371
Unevenplayingground is on a distinguished road
Default

Thank you Rockscan. This is really useful for the dad. I think what you are saying sounds reasonable. I appreciate you suggesting asking to pay the school directly. The mother is ignoring requests to show the dad proof of documentation right now. Hopefully she comes around and a court session is not required. Dad lives a few provinces away, and getting a lawyer in the area is really hard.

Thanks, I will show this to dad, it was a big help.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 04-22-2018, 08:57 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 4,739
rockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

Shes going to have to provide documentation for her court filing anyway and it’s not unreasonable for him to request it.

He can simply say “im more than happy to pay my proportionate share up receipt of a statement of account from the school” and leave it at that.

Do the research though to be sure of the rest of the info. That way he knows what is going on.

And he can request to teleconference in with representation where he lives.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 04-22-2018, 10:10 PM
Unevenplayingground Unevenplayingground is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 371
Unevenplayingground is on a distinguished road
Default

Thanks, he sent her an email advising he was trying to avoid court, and asked for all documentation.

He also found all of the entitlements from the first nation band son belongs to.

I appreciate the info about the teleconference because dad can't find a lawyer that is taking cases, let alone afford one. I will get him to call the court house to inquire about the teleconference, otherwise he will be incurring costs for flights, car rentals, hotels, etc...this has already happened.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 04-22-2018, 10:53 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 4,739
rockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

He cant do anything about teleconference until the matter is before the court.

Worry about the rest when she responds. Hes not being unreasonable expecting proof of the expenses. No receipt no pay is the mantra we use.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 04-22-2018, 11:26 PM
Unevenplayingground Unevenplayingground is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 371
Unevenplayingground is on a distinguished road
Default

So true, and she has to know that proof has to be provided, they would have had to provide proof to apply for everything to do with the school. She had to follow those processes, this this shouldn't feel like dad is asking anything crazy. I half think something is a bit fishy where all questions about proof are ignored.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Children's bennefits Wiser2008 Financial Issues 21 05-03-2019 07:21 AM
Child 19 years old not in school, how to cease child support staysingle Divorce & Family Law 9 03-26-2011 10:45 AM
What does child support cover? Workin Financial Issues 66 06-28-2010 03:42 PM
Need answers... jinx101 Introductions 7 05-28-2007 07:15 PM
Custody issue helpme124 Parenting Issues 13 05-31-2006 06:18 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:05 PM.