Homemade separation agreement

[Mikesgal]

Just wondered if anyone can tell me how valid a homemade separation agreement is...

The ex wife took it upon herself to construct an agreement several years ago outlining to her benefit what she wanted and how things should go etc etc and then had my husband sign and date as well as had a mutual friend witness sign and date as well...

Looking over this agreement there are several things that she has not stuck by and it has never been sent to a lawyer or the courts for verification...how vailid is this make shift agreement?

[standing on the sidelines]

if neither one had ILA then it is pretty easy to have it thrown out. Did they sign anything saying they waived ILA???

Just remember once its opened it just doesnt open the parts she is not sticking to, it reopens everything. So if your husband made a deal with her regarding some of his assets then he could lose more then he could gain.

[arabian]

I think the best rule of thumb, in my opinion, is to assume that pretty much any legal agreement, made with or without ILA, is made to be broken. You just need money and a smart lawyer.

Agree with Standing. Kind of a Pandora's Box situation.

[Mess]

To a large extent, there is nothing to be broken, the agreement isn't binding without ILA so it isn't a legal agreement.

It is not registered with the courts so it cannot be enforced. If you simply stop paying (I assume this is what the issue is) what will she do? Take you to court, and she will find that the agreement is not legally enforceable.

The thing to be wary of is whether the details of the agreement are close to the standard guidelines for things like child support, spousal support, etc. Would she be likely to achieve a decision like this if it went to trial from scratch? In that case you might as well consider the agreement enforcable, you would pay $60k for a trial (your costs and her costs) and end up paying what you pay now.

If the agreement is seriously out of line with standard guideline amounts and court decisions, then you have little to worry about. However we can't answer that question on the basis of the information you have provided.

Regarding equalization, it is less likely that you can reopen this, and if it has been +6 years since separation, it is not possible to reopen according to Ontario law, unless you can prove that there was criminal fraud in the disclosure. This would require more than a few thousand difference, it would have to be substantial.

[Mikesgal]

Paying cs is not an issue here at all, we have always paid on time and to the correct tables, she has put in things that are crazy example being..
that she will remain the beneficiary of either the current life and accident insurance or the beneficiary of additional life and accident insurance owned by my husband
and that my husband has access to the children upon request and upon consideration of schefules of the parties

We didn't leave her on as a beneficiary but did one better and got a life insurance policy taken out in my step sons name that we pay for each month incase something should ever happen to my husband he would then be looked after..(why should she be left on when she was his wife for 3 months I am now his wife of over 6 years?)

She has not adhered to the child access and has kept them away from us so therefore she has not kept up to her part of the contract

[Mess]

If you aren't getting access, you should get into court immediately and have that addressed.

You are losing your child through lack of contact, and losing the court argument. If it reaches the point where the child stops missing dad and stops caring, the situation may not be changable.

There is a point where inaction makes you equally culpable.

[standing on the sidelines]

If you aren't getting access, you should get into court immediately and have that addressed.

You are losing your child through lack of contact, and losing the court argument. If it reaches the point where the child stops missing dad and stops caring, the situation may not be changable.

There is a point where inaction makes you equally culpable.

if their agreement is not enforcable, does that mean as of now the father should have 50/50 access regardless what it says in there??

[standing on the sidelines]

status quo has been established anything would be an uphill battle especially for a male

or female depending on who has been the custodial parent.

[Mikesgal]

we haven't see his son for over 5 years now, he was 12 when his mother decided that he shouldn't come here anymore over an incident regarding inappropriate sexual behaviour between my husbands son and my 5 year old grandsons..this was a way to "protect" her son against humiliation and after what happened we couldn't force him to come since he was 12...we actually thought that after a cooling down period things would get back to normal but unfortunately it never did

[standing on the sidelines]

Paying cs is not an issue here at all, we have always paid on time and to the correct tables, she has put in things that are crazy example being..
that she will remain the beneficiary of either the current life and accident insurance or the beneficiary of additional life and accident insurance owned by my husband
and that my husband has access to the children upon request and upon consideration of schefules of the parties

We didn't leave her on as a beneficiary but did one better and got a life insurance policy taken out in my step sons name that we pay for each month incase something should ever happen to my husband he would then be looked after..(why should she be left on when she was his wife for 3 months I am now his wife of over 6 years?)

She has not adhered to the child access and has kept them away from us so therefore she has not kept up to her part of the contract

the kid is 17 now?? There is no way he can be forced to see his father if he doesnt want to.

[OrleansLawyer]

Just remember once its opened it just doesnt open the parts she is not sticking to, it reopens everything. So if your husband made a deal with her regarding some of his assets then he could lose more then he could gain.

Very good advice.

To a large extent, there is nothing to be broken, the agreement isn't binding without ILA so it isn't a legal agreement.

Kitchen table agreements are as binding as any other contract.

If the agreement is seriously out of line with standard guideline amounts and court decisions, then you have little to worry about.

Depending how out of line, and lacking ILA, could be grounds to throw it out. Given the relationship between the parties in family law the courts become more willing to step in. However, even without ILA, you still have the power to make a poor bargain on your own behalf. The courts do not prevent people from making improvident bargains.

Regarding equalization, it is less likely that you can reopen this, and if it has been +6 years since separation, it is not possible to reopen according to Ontario law, unless you can prove that there was criminal fraud in the disclosure.

Very important information. If you were divorced, the time frame is 2 years.

If you aren't getting access, you should get into court immediately and have that addressed.

You are losing your child through lack of contact, and losing the court argument. If it reaches the point where the child stops missing dad and stops caring, the situation may not be changable.

There is a point where inaction makes you equally culpable.

Very good advice.

the kid is 17 now?? There is no way he can be forced to see his father if he doesnt want to.

Agreed. Although a motion to terminate child support on those grounds may be something to consider.

[3rdparty]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is "ILA" ? best guess was ..... legal advice

[blinkandimgone]

Independant Legal Advice.

You were very close