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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 04-01-2016, 08:54 PM
hdc1894 hdc1894 is offline
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Default Despicable Threats. How to respond?

I have couple of posts in here but a bit of a background. Really finding out what kind of person I am married to now. I am a man who had a pretty troubled childhood but managed to weather pretty well. In the course of my marriage (and any marriage i think) very intimate details of my screwy upbringing were discussed. Very tender stuff. Now I am hearing threats from my hopefully STBX that she is ready to disclose these things to friends family, maybe even my son for all I know. I believe these things will all backfire on her and the world will see what an evil person she is really is if she does these things but nonetheless this is very troubling to me. She is basically saying these things to try and squeeze me for more support, house, etc. I have spoken to a lawyer who basically told me that there was no way she would be getting the support or term she has been lead to believe she would get.

There has been lots of talk from this one about taking care of our son in this. How could I be so blind..

I am trying to keep calm and not rise to her. I have just told her to do her worst and walked away. I think you should understand my emotional question on how to deal with this but I am real curious if I have a legal way to use this or something.

Thanks for being here people.
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Old 04-01-2016, 09:58 PM
Links17 Links17 is offline
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A few good credos:
1. The opposite of love of isn't hate, it is indifference.

2. You really learn what type of person a person is during a divorce. Everybody is peachy when life is great but apply a little pressure and sometimes you find a diamond and most of time you find a chunk of coal - so this person is who your ex is. She is trash and you're in the process of taking it out...

_________

The best thing she can do for you now is be as unreasonable as possible. You simply don't have to take it anymore and eventually it becomes grounds to get a whole slew of recourse in court from favourable custody arrangements, having costs awarded against you etc...

The key is to realize you will stand in front of a judge at some point and you might have an opportunity to lay all these facts on the table and you can expect some of the stuff will stick. So as she is threatening you with all these things remember:
-She is pissed and wants to get to you.
-You will use it against her
-Trashing your ex is generally not a winning strat (unless it is close friends)
-She is flailing her arms at the fact that she no longer has you as her bitch.
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Old 04-01-2016, 10:09 PM
hdc1894 hdc1894 is offline
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Thanks links, just what I needed to hear.
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Old 04-01-2016, 10:23 PM
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Janibel Janibel is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hdc1894 View Post
I am trying to keep calm and not rise to her. I have just told her to do her worst and walked away. I think you should understand my emotional question on how to deal with this but I am real curious if I have a legal way to use this or something.

Thanks for being here people.
The best way to react to this blackmail (that's what this sounds like) is to ignore her as much as possible. Never give in to emotional extortion.

She knows you well enough to use whatever vulnerability you may have in order to push you into doing things her way ..... Encourage her to send you emails, and if she utters threats, keep that for court.

Give her enough rope so that she can 'hang herself'.
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Old 04-04-2016, 10:21 AM
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Is she sending this blackmail by text, email, or in person?

If it is in person, then stop talking to her. You want her to say that stuff in writing.

If it is through email, then you have just struck gold. Save those emails.
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Old 04-04-2016, 02:48 PM
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blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
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How to respond to her threats? Don't. Literally not one word.

Only respond to any actual issues to move things forward.
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