Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Wife restricting access to kids

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Wife restricting access to kids

    Wife is restricting access to kids. She is not allowing them to call me or allowing them to answer when I call. She also is restricting me from visiting them at the bus stop.
    There is no separation agreement in place. We have a court date in a month to resolve these issues. Can I do anything now to see my kids more frequently? My access gets limited when she gets into her moods. What form can I fill out or what action can I take?

  • #2
    You have joint 50/50 custody right? So you already have the best scenario. I don't think I'd make a fuss over being denied the ability to talk on phone during her access, or being able to visit them at bus stop during her access.
    Or is she denying some of your actual access time?

    Comment


    • #3
      Dinkyface wtf? Telephone access is considered access time.

      Mike, document everything! When time comes you will argue that she is alienating you from your kids and she might get slapped with less access time or police enforcement clause on the order. Right now you can't do anything because Judge will say to wait till your next court date which is in a month.

      Comment


      • #4
        Yep, telephone is VERY important. Any Judge, OCL will agree.

        In fact the OCL put it right in the report- Calls up to 10pm any time, how many times etc.

        My guess is your children don't miss mommy when they aren't there and she's jealous they want to call you so limits the access. She's acting like a baby.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Skndlz2904 View Post
          Dinkyface wtf? Telephone access is considered access time.

          Mike, document everything! When time comes you will argue that she is alienating you from your kids and she might get slapped with less access time or police enforcement clause on the order. Right now you can't do anything because Judge will say to wait till your next court date which is in a month.

          LOL! Police won't enforce a telephone clause. Technically, the cops won't enforce anything short of an apprehension order. In Toronto they don't get involved anymore even with enforcement clause.

          Comment


          • #6
            Thanks Guys - I will wait it out until the court date. Its just tough to not being able to see kids at the school bus stop or not being able to talk to them. Especially, when they sneak a phone away and call me from their bedrooms to say, they were not allowed to call me.
            Right now, we have joint custody with primary residence with her. They moved out of the matrimonial home and live down the street. But based on past 4-5 months, I have had them about @50% of the time. I am hoping that being down the street from them, living in the matrimonial home, furnishing their rooms to as they were (she took 80% of the household assets), and being able to see them in the morning at bus stop, afterschool at bus stop and at night if they ride their bikes over - would help me in getting actual 50/50 Custody. But she is now, telling me I can't see them at the bus stop - she has stopped sending them to the bus stop and drives them to school, she has asked i not come by the house to see them and she has prevented them from calling me at night before bed time. (something we try to do daily so I can see how their day went and tell them their bed time stories).
            I will wait it out and document everything. It just burns me up that she is playing with my relationship with the kids. My eldest is so afraid of her that he does not want to do anything that will anger her.

            Comment


            • #7
              Do you have a separation agreement?

              Comment


              • #8
                We have been trying since Jan/Feb - but can't come to agreement on Support, Custody and Equalization. My position is to pay table amount for Child support (i have provided all my notice of assessments for the past 3 years), max amount for spousal using divorcemate and agreed to amount for extraordinary expenses. Regarding Custody, I want 50/50, but she wants 100% for the money. Regarding equalization, she wants 50% of the house equity, I said she gets the NFP equalization, but I also need to make adjustments for @ 60K that she ran up and I over paid.
                so for the custody and equalization - she is taking me to court and to hurt me in the process - I can't see my kids on a regular basis as I had been.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Your ex is high conflict ( appears to have strong features of a cluster B personality disorder) and you are in very treacherous waters my friend.

                  You seem to have good to great organizational skills and that's vital for a successful outcome.

                  Have you considered a private assessment to deal with custody?

                  She is shutting the door to your access with the children and this will likely get worse not better without outside help.

                  Stay clear of the possibility of false domestic/child abuse allegations

                  Withdraw all offers to date until custody is either court ordered or agreed to. Also, stop offering max anything at the beginning of negotiations.

                  ' know thy enemy' she is not ever going to be reasonable or put the development needs of your children ahead of her own needs.

                  Stop putting your 'wishbone' where your' backbone' needs to be!

                  You know her better than anyone, use that to maximum advantage in advancing your position.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by michael5 View Post
                    ... and she has prevented them from calling me at night before bed time. (something we try to do daily so I can see how their day went and tell them their bed time stories).
                    I don't get it. During HER access, you want to read them their bedtime stories over the phone? Does it work both ways i.e. during YOUR access, she can call to read them their bedtime stories?

                    I can see it would be nice to have some sort of contact with kids when they are with the other parent, especially if your schedule is week-on-week-off, since 7 days is a long time with no contact. But the bedtime stories thing seems weird ... that's something I want to do when the kids are with ME (and the other parent can do it when kids are with THEM).

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by michael5 View Post
                      ...based on past 4-5 months, I have had them about @50% of the time.
                      Maybe I am misunderstanding. Does this mean you actually have them with you for 50% of all available time?

                      Or that she has only permitted you to seem them for 50% of your agreed on accesses? (i.e. she has denied 50% of your expected accesses)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Kids are not prevented from calling her at bedtime when they are with me or anytime for that matter. We had an agreement that before bed time, they would call to say good night and some of the younger kids are used to me telling them quick bed time stories so they ask for that each night - Sometimes she has no issues other times, they are prevented. She wants me to see them every 13 days - alternate weekend access. For the past 13 months, I was living with parents and had great distance between us. Now I am 3 blocks away and want to see them more.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          She wants just alternate weekends. 6 days a month (Fri/Sun). The last 4 months, I had them stay with me @50% of the time. The rest of the time, they spent with her. So I had them stay with me @15 days a month for the last 4 months.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Then her attempt to reduce your access from 50% to 21% is your greatest problem to deal with. Not the phone calls or bus stop visits.

                            There is a certain amount of separation/independence between households that each parent can expect/require after separation. Yes, it sucks for the kids, but in high conflict situations it seems to be accepted by 'the system'.

                            Also, saying that the other party is welcome to do X is not in itself a logical/legal argument for you to demand X.

                            Comment

                            Our Divorce Forums
                            Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                            Working...
                            X