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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 11-26-2013, 08:55 AM
Franklin Franklin is offline
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.

My new offer to settle

-She moves back to my area......
-no name change.
-she gets sole custody
-no offset ever no mater how much money she makes or what the time split is between us on visitation is with the child...she gets maximum
-I pay her moving expenses.... thinking $2000.00 paid over 4 months $500.0 monthly
-I pay her 20% over base child support tables..ongoing
-section 7 split according to income.

Looking to be a father ...its 5 hrs away one way....


If you have any thoughts pls chime in[/QUOTE]

Last edited by Franklin; 11-26-2013 at 08:58 AM. Reason: mistake
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  #12  
Old 11-26-2013, 08:59 AM
Franklin Franklin is offline
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Failed to navigate the system properly .
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  #13  
Old 11-26-2013, 09:06 AM
Franklin Franklin is offline
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Its all in the wording. Joint or Sole mean very little . Be specific and make sure to include you share transportation to and form. Sighn nothing ever until she moves back and returns the daughters name back to birthdate. You will be rewarded for protecting the rights of your child to a father. Fight for it, things can change for the better or worse but this is now and I somehow feel you know what is right and wrong. Easy is usually wrong , from my experiences anyway . Good good luck.
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  #14  
Old 11-26-2013, 10:41 AM
Canadaguy Canadaguy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Franklin View Post
.

My new offer to settle

-She moves back to my area......
-no name change.
-she gets sole custody
-no offset ever no mater how much money she makes or what the time split is between us on visitation is with the child...she gets maximum
-I pay her moving expenses.... thinking $2000.00 paid over 4 months $500.0 monthly
-I pay her 20% over base child support tables..ongoing
-section 7 split according to income.

Looking to be a father ...its 5 hrs away one way....
This is a bad offer in my opinion. The likely hood of a judge having her move 5 hours away from her family with an infant child is little to none.

You best offer would be:

--OFFER #1--
- Joint custody with a 50/50 shared custody schedule.
Mon-Tue with you
Wed-Thu with her
Fri-Sat-Sun with you for week 1, flip opposite for week 2
- Pick a school for the child in your school district and propose it to her.
- The rest (support, expenses, name, etc) will all be decided once the above is finalized so at this time they are not really relevant.
- She will likely reject this offer because she will probably not move. Get the reason in writing why she rejects this offer.

--OFFER #2--
-After she rejects the above offer, and if she says she can't afford to move, then offer to pay her moving expenses.
- If she rejects offer #1 because she doesn't want to move away from her family, her support, than you will need to move beside her if you want to be an equal parent and not an access parent.

--OFFER #3--
- If you can't move, fight in court for offer #1 and prepare a full parenting plan with all the details (CS, expenses, moving clause, etc). Ask the courts to decide in your favor for 50/50 and the child's school to be in your school district.
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  #15  
Old 11-27-2013, 02:47 PM
toronto_father2 toronto_father2 is offline
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Thanks to everyone for replying...Its taken me a few days to unwind from last weeks court visit.....

Question....the only issue left is that I`m seeking is joint custody....Ive excepted that the child will be raised with the mother (5hrs away) and I`ll have to do all the traveling for the next 10 years or so...but I want to be an important part of the childs life none the less....how do I frame this...do I just ask the judge for joint at the next motion date...or write up an offer to settle....

The other lawyer called my sanity into question in front of the judge....basically calling me crazy......I responded.... "of course I`m crazy...have only seen the child once since birth (4 months) despite repeated efforts and inquiries...I think its a normal response to a very unfair situation(described my pain at not seeing the child, the mother has not stated why I cant see the child and we have had no police involvement..) "....judge just said "ok....lets move on then"....That sort of sums up how the day went.....

I did sign an agreement......I recognized that she will have primary residence.....And some other items that we had agreed to in already in regards to support....

I had prepared the motion on the issue of name surname change and the Moms lawyer agreed immediately to the change...thank you all the members who assisted me with answers to my questions on that....they fought it tooth and nail but when faced with the avalanche of information this issue was dealt with as if it was regular procedure.
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  #16  
Old 11-27-2013, 03:11 PM
Canadaguy Canadaguy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by toronto_father2 View Post
the only issue left is that I`m seeking is joint custody....Ive excepted that the child will be raised with the mother (5hrs away) and I`ll have to do all the traveling for the next 10 years or so.
Just prove your are a capable parent and are doing everything for the child that you can. That includes paying support on time, paying for expenses and keeping the peace, meaning not starting drama.

The judge will most likely award joint custody with primary residence and final decision making to mom, which is basically sole custody but at this point with your situation that is the most likely hood outcome.

It is hard to foster a relationship 5 hours away, I would recommend you move if you truly want to be an active parent in your child's life.
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  #17  
Old 11-27-2013, 03:27 PM
toronto_father2 toronto_father2 is offline
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I have another child who lives close to me here....MOM1 and I get along great and there is no problems what so ever....If that was not the case I would consider the move.

The court did do offset on the support in consideration of travel cost and existing child support...the judge was very fair and I have no complaints at all about the court house ...its just the child so far away....I get to see the child from mom1 50/50....I`m just sad about the distance....
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  #18  
Old 11-27-2013, 03:33 PM
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NBDad NBDad is offline
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Why in the world would YOU do all the travel?
YOU pick up to begin your time, SHE picks up to begin hers.

She obviously has the means to travel if she moved 5 hours away.

SHE moved unilaterally, ergo if ANYTHING SHE should be solely responsible for travel.

JOINT custody means you get a voice and a vote. DO NOT give her Sole or you will be relegated to an EOW bank machine.
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  #19  
Old 11-28-2013, 11:28 AM
toronto_father2 toronto_father2 is offline
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Mom does not drive....so it falls to me to bridge the distance.

The court has been very fair in off setting support to help cover the costs of travel....Mom did not fight this and Its based on my visiting once a month...but I plan on 2 times a month...just have to cover costs for second visit myself.
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  #20  
Old 11-28-2013, 11:53 AM
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billm billm is offline
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Another issue is that the child will not develop a close relationship with their half sibling - because the mom moved away without regard to this or your access. Selfish mom!
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