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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 10-02-2013, 11:18 AM
FB_ FB_ is offline
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Default School Called - Addresses

My ex had filled out the childrens information form with both of our addresses.

Today I got a call from the school telling me that the children can only have 1 address. I explained the situation that we are now separated and the court order states that my address is the address to be on file. The school asked me to send them a copy of the agreement, so I did

I sent the following email to my ex just to let her know

Quote:
The school (Mrs. XXXXXXX) called me just now and noticed while processing the contact information that the children now have two addresses. She informed me that the children can only have 1 address in the OSR.

I explained that we are now separated and she asked me for our separation agreement/court order. I sent her via email the court order that was signed by the judge on July 20th, which was received back on Monday.

This is just an FYI Im not sure if it really changes anything.
The response

Quote:
I am really glad you took it upon yourself to send the school a copy of our seperation agreement. They are not suppost to ask for that kind of personal information. All the school needs to be aware of is that the children reside with both parents equally with a shared custody agreement. The seperation agreemnt is a personal and private matter. That will now follow them through their OSR records the entire time they are in school. A heads up would have been nice. I don't feel the school needed that information! So I say it again I am glad you took it upon yourself to send it without talking to me about it!
Have a nice day!
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  #2  
Old 10-02-2013, 11:23 AM
Pursuinghappiness Pursuinghappiness is offline
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lol FB. Your ex fell out of the dipshit tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Just ignore it. The school should be using your address and they are. That she's mad about it is her problem.
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  #3  
Old 10-02-2013, 12:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
lol FB. Your ex fell out of the dipshit tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Just ignore it. The school should be using your address and they are. That she's mad about it is her problem.
LMAO

I am ignoring it, I think she is attending the kids swimming tonight...We shall see.

Like I have said before, I wanted the school to have it because she has alluded to the fact she may try and register the kids in a school in Orangeville without my knowledge. The school is now fully informed that she cannot do this and the OCR should not be transferred.
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Old 10-02-2013, 01:38 PM
smileandwalkaway smileandwalkaway is offline
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Beside the point I know but I'll just state this for future reference. With regards to the OSR and its contents... just because something is placed in it doesn't mean it must always follow that child around for the duration of their academic career. Some items can be removed upon written request. I review the OSR of my one child every couple years to prune out anything out dated or no longer relevant.
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  #5  
Old 10-02-2013, 02:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smileandwalkaway View Post
Beside the point I know but I'll just state this for future reference. With regards to the OSR and its contents... just because something is placed in it doesn't mean it must always follow that child around for the duration of their academic career. Some items can be removed upon written request. I review the OSR of my one child every couple years to prune out anything out dated or no longer relevant.
Very good info.

Thanks
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  #6  
Old 10-02-2013, 02:10 PM
Pursuinghappiness Pursuinghappiness is offline
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Quote:
Beside the point I know but I'll just state this for future reference. With regards to the OSR and its contents... just because something is placed in it doesn't mean it must always follow that child around for the duration of their academic career.
True except he sent over the separation agreement so while the children are at that school, they may make a notation...depends on how organized (and how big) the school is. However, per your post its probably in FB's best interest to check up with the school each year unless his ex tries to change the addresses around again.

As for changing the children's schools without notifying you FB. I would imagine that would be a legal trainwreck for her...not that she might not try.
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Old 10-02-2013, 11:43 PM
stripes stripes is offline
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So what if the separation agreement does become part of their school record? It just sets out their residential situation. It's not like you sent in an affidavit stating the kids were serial killers or something.

Your ex is a bundle of charm.
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  #8  
Old 10-09-2013, 10:39 AM
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Any legal document that pertains to the children (ie. custody/access) SHOULD be a part of the child's school record.

The children cannot access it, and the school should be aware of who has access on what days. ALL 4 of my kids have a copy of the court order in their school file, AND the principal/teachers have a print out of the access schedule that outlines where the children are on what days. (since it affects bus schedules and order of contact if needed)
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Old 10-10-2013, 01:45 PM
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FB_ you can ignore totally what is happening. One thing to always consider from possibly highly conflicted parents (like your ex) is that everything is about how they feel.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FB_ View Post
I am really glad you took it upon yourself to send the school a copy of our separation agreement.
Actually, you can provide a copy of your SA and court order to anyone you want. There is no governance or laws that prevent you from providing this information to third parties in full or portions of. Some silly custody and access evaluators try to put in recommendations into orders that you can't show a publicly filed court order to other third parties.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FB_ View Post
They are not suppost to ask for that kind of personal information.
Actually, yes they are and often do. The Peel Regional School board even has special pink folders that are printed to put court orders in.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FB_ View Post
All the school needs to be aware of is that the children reside with both parents equally with a shared custody agreement.
Clearly, the other parent is embarissed by the order. Remember in your situation the other parent in your matter wasn't up for 50-50. The challenge many parents face with the highly conflicted is that they see 50-50 as them being a "bad parent". That they should be the "sole custodial" parent.

They will even twist the truth and tell people that they are the "sole custodial" parent. You possibly removed the other parent's ability to lie to the school and teachers... That is what they may be angry at.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FB_ View Post
The seperation agreemnt is a personal and private matter.
Actually, no it is not. It eventually gets filed into the PUBLIC RECORD if the parties want a divorce to be issued. So, knowing your name any person can pull up your divorce agreement etc.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FB_ View Post
That will now follow them through their OSR records the entire time they are in school.
And this is a problem because they know the parents are living separate and apart and have a comprehensive agreement governing custody and access of the children? FB_, the other parent appears to me to be more upset that they were "outed" to the school. It has NOTHING to do with "private" information as it is NOT private.

You have EVERY RIGHT to show that agreement to whoever you want. Post a copy on the internet. Who cares. As soon as someone files for a divorce you have to attach it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FB_ View Post
A heads up would have been nice. I don't feel the school needed that information! So I say it again I am glad you took it upon yourself to send it without talking to me about it!
Have a nice day!
More like, "the school didn't need to know that I, the mother of *my* children am not the sole custodial parent and that I can't *control* the other parent through lies and false allegations and that they know the absolute and final truth which is outlined in the agreement they now have on file!" (pout, kick feet and send silly emails like this...)

FB_ you can /ignore this one. You should be providing the children's doctors and other professionals and care givers the SA.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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  #10  
Old 10-10-2013, 02:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
FB_ you can ignore totally what is happening. One thing to always consider from possibly highly conflicted parents (like your ex) is that everything is about how they feel.



Actually, you can provide a copy of your SA and court order to anyone you want. There is no governance or laws that prevent you from providing this information to third parties in full or portions of. Some silly custody and access evaluators try to put in recommendations into orders that you can't show a publicly filed court order to other third parties.



Actually, yes they are and often do. The Peel Regional School board even has special pink folders that are printed to put court orders in.



Clearly, the other parent is embarissed by the order. Remember in your situation the other parent in your matter wasn't up for 50-50. The challenge many parents face with the highly conflicted is that they see 50-50 as them being a "bad parent". That they should be the "sole custodial" parent.

They will even twist the truth and tell people that they are the "sole custodial" parent. You possibly removed the other parent's ability to lie to the school and teachers... That is what they may be angry at.



Actually, no it is not. It eventually gets filed into the PUBLIC RECORD if the parties want a divorce to be issued. So, knowing your name any person can pull up your divorce agreement etc.



And this is a problem because they know the parents are living separate and apart and have a comprehensive agreement governing custody and access of the children? FB_, the other parent appears to me to be more upset that they were "outed" to the school. It has NOTHING to do with "private" information as it is NOT private.

You have EVERY RIGHT to show that agreement to whoever you want. Post a copy on the internet. Who cares. As soon as someone files for a divorce you have to attach it.



More like, "the school didn't need to know that I, the mother of *my* children am not the sole custodial parent and that I can't *control* the other parent through lies and false allegations and that they know the absolute and final truth which is outlined in the agreement they now have on file!" (pout, kick feet and send silly emails like this...)

FB_ you can /ignore this one. You should be providing the children's doctors and other professionals and care givers the SA.

Good Luck!
Tayken
I did totally ignore it. Your perspective is not one I had thought of which actually makes a lot of sense. Her not being the custodial parent probably drives her crazy...wait...nevermind

I am so thankful I did a lot of research and feedback from here about great things to put into the agreement. There have been many disagreements that we have had trying to work together. Thankfully each time we disagreed I refered to line xxx of our agreement which clearly stated what the default was in the situation. Some of the time it was to her benefit and some of the time mine. But at least there was not argument over it. Just like the PD issue I posted about yesterday. I went to the default and the issue was resolved.

I also never actually thought about the children's doctor

Thanks for your thoughts Tayken.
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