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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #61  
Old 10-05-2013, 09:26 PM
Qrious Qrious is offline
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Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
So the only sane people are the ones who agree with you? Good to know!
Lol. If he only knew...
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  #62  
Old 10-05-2013, 09:30 PM
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blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
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Hahahahaha!

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  #63  
Old 10-09-2013, 09:01 AM
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they are interfering in the parenting of the children by the 2 parents. It is not 3 or 4 parents
OH how horrible it would be for the child to have FOUR adults that care for them, rather than 2. However will they manage.

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Does your ex's bf go instead of you to parent / teacher interviews?
My ex is batshit insane. Does her new hubby go instead of me? no. I make my own interviews and attend them for both MY kids AND my stepkids. Have I attended for my stepkids solo before (if my wife cannot make it?) You bet.

You are making a mountain out of a molehill. If you DON'T want the kid to leave school grounds on days where it's YOUR time, then you tell the school that and set the expectation that it will be enforced.

On your ex's time, if he wants to designate his spouse/etc to sign for these things on his days, then he's perfectly within his rights too.

Hell, the stepparent can SPANK your kids (legally) and there is not a damn thing YOU can do about it.

Here's how this will play out:

1. You'll bitch at the school, they'll inquire with your ex.

2. Your ex will send the school an email, or write them a letter for the kids file "I hereby give permission for %mynewspouse% to sign for permissions slips/letters/etc for things that fall on my parenting time"

3. School's policy is now happy, YOU get branded as a nitpicking control freak,AND the school is now pissed at YOU, because you made a big deal out of nothing AND made them do extra paperwork.

4. YOUR EX is now irritated with you, and can/will leverage this as an example of how the two of you cannot effectively coparent. When he has sufficient examples, expect a court motion to remove YOUR decision making ability and authority.

Pick your battles. This one....isn't worth fighting over. It's very very minor in the scheme of things.
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  #64  
Old 10-09-2013, 09:19 AM
DunnMom DunnMom is offline
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Originally Posted by NBDad View Post
Pick your battles. This one....isn't worth fighting over. It's very very minor in the scheme of things.
Well said ....
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  #65  
Old 10-09-2013, 09:38 AM
DontGiveUp DontGiveUp is offline
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You're in a different province NBDad, perhaps there are different local laws but pretty sure the Children's Law Reform Act is Canada wide. You should read that to know who has legal parenting rights over those step kids of yours

Anyway, no what you do is you contact the school board, you ask them for school communications who do they expect / require only to be signing under parent / guardian under any condition and they reply back and say only the parents / legal guardians of the children and you produce to your ex and than you produce that if ever questioned in court. Discussion over.

Unless you apply for the court and they grant you it, you are not a custodial parent or legal guardian of the children, that my friend is just the law.

They have 2 parents available who can make these decisions and sign these forms and thus know where their children are and why. Outside of your own home, legal responsibility wise, you have no more rights and responsiblities to my children, as my neighbour, my parents etc.
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  #66  
Old 10-09-2013, 10:24 AM
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Why did you post the question if you already had all the answers and intended to argue with anyone who didn't agree with you that this is an earth shattering issue?
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  #67  
Old 10-09-2013, 10:33 AM
DontGiveUp DontGiveUp is offline
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I've asked for Mess to delete this thread.

I've since found through others here and direction from others that confirm what I saw and believed. That is all.

Not arguing that step parents aren't in general great additional parents of the kids, just in this case, this step dad is overstepping boundaries and infringing on the parenting rights of the two biological parents and that is part of the conflict. If he was a good respectful dude, different story. He is the one that has controlled, manipulated the ex creating new conflict which has impacted my children and that is what I want to put an end to.

A good step parent would not intentionally interfer in the children's relationships with the other parent nor infridge on their responsibilitie as such.
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  #68  
Old 10-09-2013, 10:35 AM
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You're in a different province NBDad, perhaps there are different local laws but pretty sure the Children's Law Reform Act is Canada wide. You should read that to know who has legal parenting rights over those step kids of yours
Legal parenting vs. what the school policy requires to be happy? Different animals. You're confusing the two.

Quote:
Anyway, no what you do is you contact the school board, you ask them for school communications who do they expect / require only to be signing under parent / guardian under any condition and they reply back and say only the parents / legal guardians of the children and you produce to your ex and than you produce that if ever questioned in court.
As I said, ex then writes a letter for the school file, granting their spouse blanket permission to sign that stuff when it falls on their time. Does the stepparent have de facto legal rights? No. Can you ex work within the school boards framework as I have indicated to both keep policy happy, and work within the legal requirements?...you bet.

Then they use the fact you are arguing over such minor issues to build a case that YOU are the problem. I have already been down this road (successfully I might add.) It took my ex almost 3 YEARS to recover some semblance of the time she had. So, are you "technically" correct? yes. Is it stupidly easy to bypass it? Again...yes. If your ex has a halfway competent lawyer...will this kind of foolishness hurt you? 100% YES.

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They have 2 parents available who can make these decisions and sign these forms and thus know where their children are and why. Outside of your own home, legal responsibility wise, you have no more rights and responsiblities to my children, as my neighbour, my parents etc.
Go research "in loco parentis". Like I said, this isn't a battle you are going to win, it's more trouble than it's worth, and it'll do more harm to your case in the long run.

I've been there and done that, so I'm speaking with the voice of experience. This issue is retardedly simple to circumvent (for your ex) and it has a high degree of potential to bite YOU in the ass.
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  #69  
Old 10-09-2013, 11:04 AM
DontGiveUp DontGiveUp is offline
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The court must determine whether or not a step-parent has met the threshold for In Loco-Parentis.

Some of the factors the court may take into consideration in determining whether the step-parent meets the threshold of standing in the place of a parent include:
  • the duration and nature of the step-parenting relationship
  • step-parent's involvement in the child's day-to-day life, discipline, extra-curricular activities, and schooling
  • the step- parent's financial contribution to the child
  • the child's participation in the step-parents extended family's activities;
  • how the child referred to the step-parent;
  • another biological parent's involvement in the step-child's life;
  • any discussion relating to the possible adoption of the child
In this matter you're dealing with a step-parent of one year, a completely active and involvded father in the children's lives who is also involved with the extra curricular activities and schooling.

So it may be different that your case. According to case law, courts look at this on a case by case basis.
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  #70  
Old 10-09-2013, 11:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DontGiveUp View Post
I've asked for Mess to delete this thread.

I've since found through others here and direction from others that confirm what I saw and believed. That is all.

Not arguing that step parents aren't in general great additional parents of the kids, just in this case, this step dad is overstepping boundaries and infringing on the parenting rights of the two biological parents and that is part of the conflict. If he was a good respectful dude, different story. He is the one that has controlled, manipulated the ex creating new conflict which has impacted my children and that is what I want to put an end to.

A good step parent would not intentionally interfer in the children's relationships with the other parent nor infridge on their responsibilitie as such.
We don't delete threads because the OP didn't like the responses they received.

We delete threads for the following reasons:

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In general, threads are not deleted at the request of the OP without a very good reason as they tend to provide information and feedback to other users.
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