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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 09-02-2013, 02:27 PM
dinkyface dinkyface is offline
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Notes about these cases
- these are Superior Court cases
- the father acted IMMEDIATELY, or there was discussion about hyphenating before the birth
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  #12  
Old 09-13-2013, 05:26 AM
gs163 gs163 is offline
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I recently talked with my ex and she basically disagreed to all changes that I would like to make to our current agreement. She has refused to allow me to any access whatsoever with my son. Also did not allow for any reasoning. Insulted me in all the replies while I acted calm and collected.. I stopped talking to her altogether to not seem to instigate her actions.

In her opinion I have to earn my right to see my son and that I do not deserve to see him. All her claims come unrefuted. Her documentation has no real evidence and screenshot of me on a dating site. It does not concern her who I date and what I do on my own spare time. It's pure jealousy.

I found a student lawyer who is practicing family law. He was the only one that wanted to at least have a consultation.

I haven't seen my son in a long time..
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  #13  
Old 09-13-2013, 09:38 AM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Are you in court right now?

You need to file a motion for requesting scheduled parenting time. In that motion you also request that your name be included on the child's birth certificate hyphenated-alphabetically in accordance with recent case law.

You also need to stop speaking to your ex. From now on, you only communicate via email. And all communication should be child related. You send an email stating that you wish to see the child as you have been unilaterally restricted in doing so for some time. That it is in the child's best interests to have frequent and meaningful contact with both parents. And that her unreasonably restricting your parenting time or outright withholding parenting time, is not in the child's best interests.

Should this end up in court you will get parenting time. If you have been consistent with your requests to include your name from the point you found out you were a father, you will likely win that as well.

She cannot arbitrarily withhold the child from you. If she does, she will look horrible in court. But you have to be determined in your efforts to see the child. Always be respectful, never stoop to her level.
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  #14  
Old 09-13-2013, 11:17 AM
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NBDad NBDad is offline
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Go and read THE LIST

Mentally prepare yourself for 1-3 years of absolute hell.

Welcome to family law.

In the end, you can reasonably expect:

1. to have a court ordered parenting time schedule with your son. (IF you push hard enough, you WILL wind up with 50-50 time...this can take months or YEARS and will be an uphill fight) AT MINIMUM, you'll get the "Every Other Weekend" Screwjob...at least to start

2. Your name on the GC

3. The child's last name to be hyphenated.

To lay the groundwork for this (assuming you do not have a current court order).

1. Start paying CS NOW...via a documented method (Email money Xfer works great for this). You should pay based on the access you believe will occur. (ie. if you are pushing for 50-50, you pay offset until a court tells you different).

2. ALWAYS bank the difference between "offset" and "full table" support...JUST in case you get hit with arrears.

3. You should be submitting (via email) a request to her for a parenting schedule. You indicate you do not agree with her unilateral decision to exclude you from the child's life, and that you do not agree to her proposed schedule, but until the matter can be reviewed via court...you take EVERY scrap of time she gives you, and ask for more.

4. Find a lawyer. Beg, borrow, sell, whatever...but you really really need a lawyer for some of your goals.
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Old 09-13-2013, 08:56 PM
gs163 gs163 is offline
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Also my ex has stated that she is continuing going to the mediation meeting without me and to develop the agreement. I am a bit unaware of the process about mediation. Can this be acted upon with out my say? Or even a mediation hearing for all the things she has requested?

The mediator she is dealing with is the manager of the program and seems to have biased opinions and has stated that I will not be allowed any of the things I wanted court ordered.
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  #16  
Old 09-14-2013, 09:53 AM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Mediation is where two (or more) people negotiate an agreement and the mediator facilitates the two to come to an agreement. If you are unable to come to an agreement, then mediation is useless.

Your ex can't continue mediate without you. They need you to agree or disagree on certain matters. A mediator will also likely lean on the person they see as the weak link to get them to agree to things they otherwise may not.

Your position on certain things is fairly clear. You should (90%) win the birth certificate issue. I believe either the supreme court of canada or the BC court of appeals found the BC wording allowing the mom to leave off the father from the BC in order to name the child without their input unconstitutional, and Ontario's wording is near the same. So cases are following that trail. But you have to be able to show evidence that from day 1, you opposed the unilateral naming of the child.

You will win parenting time. It is just a question of how much. If she is nursing getting 50/50 is hard (but not impossible). But have a backup plan, one that progresses to 50/50 if you don't get it right away.

Be reasonable, and show that you made reasonable attempts to work with the ex, but she is creating a false status quo by being unreasonable.

Make reasonable offers, but all of them should get you to where you want to be.

As for the mediator, depending on what you were asking for, they may be right. But they are more likely wrong.
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