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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 09-11-2013, 10:29 PM
Karver Karver is offline
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Your right, with this huge difference in income, there is no difference between primary and shared. But because he's self employed, I'm just wondering about the years when the difference isn't out of this universe. I do plan to get a job once Son3 is in school. Of course I would never make anywhere near his earning potential, but he could also say screw work.

It's just a hard time knowing what to do. I mean shit, he's still arguing his numbers, I don't know why this is such a bitch to get nailed down.
Someone on this forum once said "if you can trust your ex, great. If you have to trust your ex your in trouble". I trusted him that year ago and I probably shouldn't have. I just don't want to make anymore mistakes thinking in the immediate and not down the road.
I suppose in a divorce scenario the only thing you can think is "what way do I want to lose".
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  #12  
Old 09-11-2013, 10:38 PM
Mess Mess is offline
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What to do is agree that the children should be able to have an equal relationship with their dad as with their mum, unless there compelling factual reasons why not.

Save money in the good years to help with the bad years, and put some focus on your career, rather than his. Live your life for you and your kids, and let the ex become a distant memory.
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  #13  
Old 09-12-2013, 08:00 AM
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NBDad NBDad is offline
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Agree 100% with Mess.

If the ex is claiming he wants shared parenting let him have it. It's in the children's best interests (unless one of you is unfit/a danger/etc).

JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY (This is in regards to "life altering" or "significant" events)...all this means is that you have to consult with each other on the "big decisions". I would highly recommend that you write in that one of you has "final say" in the event of a disagreement.

Things that would fall within Joint Legal:

1. The school wants to fail the child in a grade, whether to place the child in french immersion (early? late? not at all?)

2. The child needs braces, glasses, major surgery, etc

3. Baptism or other major religious milestones.

Things that DO NOT fall into Joint Legal:

1. Haircuts
2. School day trips/outing
3. Routine medical/dental appts.

A "fair" outcome upon separation is something along the lines of:

JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY with SHARED ACCESS (50-50), the day to day/routine decisions to lie with the parent who has the kids on a given day.

Designate one of you "Primary Residence", but make sure you clarify it to mean "for the purposes of determining the school zone".

CUSTODY is SOLE or JOINT (this determine decision making abilities for major events)

ACCESS is SHARED or NOT SHARED (ie. it's between 40-60% or it's not)
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  #14  
Old 09-12-2013, 09:28 AM
dinkyface dinkyface is offline
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But if he is splitting that income with her, then they both will have a large income, which means that there will be a big difference between full table CS (based on him having 700K income) and offset CS (based on them both having around 300-400k income). At least, for this one year.

Just make sure your agreement clearly specifies
- your access schedule (e.g. alternating weeks or some other 50-50 arrangement)
- the CS Calculation method (Offset, using your line 150 incomes, where both your incomes will include CapGain proceeds from RE sales)
- joint vs sole custody (i.e. who makes major decisions).

Then all those other fuzzy words are not so important.

Last edited by dinkyface; 09-12-2013 at 09:36 AM.
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  #15  
Old 09-12-2013, 11:19 AM
Mess Mess is offline
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I see what you mean, Dinky, but that would be for the last year they were together. Moving forward they wouldn't be splitting income like that, and support right now should be based on her current income.
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