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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 03-20-2019, 01:27 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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That wasn’t a mug shot from YRPS. The mother could have provided it as well.

I get where you are coming from but this was clearly a ridiculous escalation for no reason. He picked her up from school which he had done before as evidenced from the school releasing her. The mother called the police. How many parents on this forum have had their ex’s call the police on them? A lot. Maybe he wasn’t answering his phone because he was spending time with his daughter and her grandfather and he knew the ex objected. Was that wrong, maybe but why does she get to control it?

The whole thing screams of control issues and refusal to act reasonable. The police even said they only had one side of the story. I watched his interview and found nothing other than a frustrated parent who was falsely labeled a kidnapper. Add to that he is a visible minority from a race normally targeted unfairly and his response is reasonable.

This was a waste of time and resources. And I turn my phone off most of the time and have it on silent with no vibration. Unless I look at it, I don’t know if someone is calling. Plus, there have been moments with my man’s kids where he has asked them to turn off their phones because of their mothers incessant repeated calls and she freaked right out thinking something had happened to them.
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  #12  
Old 03-20-2019, 01:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
If she gave the police false information- charge her. let the court deal with it.
You must live in a place where mothers face actual consequences for false allegations. I would personally love to visit or move to this alternative universe, but I suspect it might violate my separation agreement on some level.

In this world, anybody who has spent any time with Canlii knows that she will not face any real consequences, ever. You have to be bad to the kid, hurting the father is a freebie. Recent case posted by Tayken aside, this nonsense almost never results in a custody change.

Quote:
BUT if he's going to speak out- he can say "My daughter is, and has always been safe with me"- no need to call the mom spiteful. Even if she is. What's best for your kid here? Rise above. Don't sink to the mom's level.
The mom caused an amber alert. That's about as public as it can possibly get. He needs to defend himself publicly, it needs to be in the paper. If the mother did indeed make this up she is going to be spinning stories like it is going out of style. The dad needs some newspaper reports so that when the daughter looks this up ten years from now, she can understand the truth.

That said, this is still early. The mom put her story out there, the dad is putting out this version, and perhaps we will find out which is accurate shortly
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  #13  
Old 03-20-2019, 01:47 PM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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I think it is also very possible that the police put a rush on meeting the “criteria” of an Amber Alert this time around. They are facing a lot of misdirected criticism because by the time the last Amber alert was issued, the child was already dead.

Can you imagine the pressure? You have a case where mere weeks ago a little girl ended up dead, and then all of a sudden a seemingly identical scenario pops up. They probably didn’t have a lot of “proof” that the child was in serious danger this time around; what they did have was a hysterical mother. What would go through your head? My first thought would be, let’s get this alert out before we have another dead child on our hands.

Unfortunately it’s cases like these that make people not take the cases like the one a few weeks back seriously. Classic case of crying wolf.
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  #14  
Old 03-20-2019, 01:54 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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He never said it was spiteful. He said any false accusations against him were done out of spite.

They separated TEN DAYS AGO. Think about the first month of your splits and what frame of mind you were in. His father came from out of town, he signed his kid out to see her grandfather and advised his ex he was doing so. She flipped out and called the police. The police operate on a different level especially when it comes to kids. Add in the sensitivity of the previous amber alert and the issues affecting Toronto when it comes to safety like this. (Recall the terrorist threats to Canada’s Wonderland late last summer). The police even said they were operating on side of the story.

More than likely the “acrimonious separation” was the basis of her panic. When my parents split my mom had us convinced my father was going to kidnap my brother. People in escalated emotional situations react unreasonably.

I haven’t seen anything wrong with him speaking out. He’s been labeled a kidnapper. His best media play for his own reputation is to say Im not a crook. You’re a lawyer though iona so I can see why you would say “don’t say anything”. I work in media and can safely say no comment is the worst you can do!
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  #15  
Old 03-20-2019, 02:08 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
You must live in a place where mothers face actual consequences for false allegations. I would personally love to visit or move to this alternative universe.

My brother-in-law's first wife filed a false report on him a number of years back. Said he assaulted her. He was arrested and spent a night (maybe 2) in jail.


My sister spent the night and next day bird-dogging footage of the interaction (it happened in a public office that has a number of cameras). She managed to get video evidence of what happened (absolutely nothing) and brought that to the police. His ex was charges and had some minor punishment.


Anecdotal, but it does happen. I remember the day quite vividly.
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  #16  
Old 03-20-2019, 02:14 PM
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To be clear, I know there are some minor consequences, but by "actual consequences" I mean "consequences that provide some sort of deterrent value".

I'm willing to bet the BIL's wife didn't spend two nights in jail . Many years ago, I would happily have paid a fine to send my ex to jail for a night or two. I'd still be happy with her in jail, but I would no longer pay for it.

well, I wouldn't pay that much
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  #17  
Old 03-20-2019, 03:55 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
I haven’t seen anything wrong with him speaking out. He’s been labeled a kidnapper. His best media play for his own reputation is to say Im not a crook. You’re a lawyer though iona so I can see why you would say “don’t say anything”. I work in media and can safely say no comment is the worst you can do!
To be clear- I don't see anything wrong with him speaking out in frustration and saying it was blown out of proportion.

HOWEVER, playing photo assumption (cause it's fun now that we know the little girl is safe)- look at the video I posted here:

https://www.cp24.com/video?clipId=1639775

At the 0:49 mark- when the reporter asks him if he was supposed to pick her up. When he hesitates before answering- and the way he answered- I immediately thought "liar". But I'm probably biased (duh).

What I take issue with is him saying it was done out of spite by the mom- this is what he said:

"I found it a joke," He says. "As well as I know my kid's mother, she is capable of doing spiteful things like this."

http://www.iheartradio.ca/newstalk-1...-out-1.9021396

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Y The dad needs some newspaper reports so that when the daughter looks this up ten years from now, she can understand the truth.
Honestly- my heart hurts when I think about a kid looking up stuff on their parents and finding this. That she even needs to find the truth. Don't forget she'll find her dad telling the newspaper that her mom is capable of being spiteful. He could've just said "I love my daughter. She's safe. I'm sorry this was blown out of proportion but she's never unsafe with me".

On a personal note- I live in fear of my daughter ever finding out anything surrounding my separation from her dad. I dread ever having to have any conversations about it at all.

She's a pretty smart cookie and has already asked if Mama lives with Dada. She gets it- that mommies and daddies are supposed to live together. And knowing my big mouth family- someone, someday, is going to say "Oh, you didn't know your dad threatened to kill you? Yeah- that's why your mom left". Not my immediate family (parents and sister)- negative talk about her dad is strictly verboten. But my extended family is another story, and I have a lot of them.

Last edited by iona6656; 03-20-2019 at 04:03 PM.
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  #18  
Old 03-20-2019, 04:15 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Kid is five. Years from now when she can look it up, the newspaper archives won’t be available online.

He didn’t hesitate. He was frustrated. He came across as arrogant which would normally make me think he was a liar but again, frustrated and angry.

Kids of divorce are actually quite resilient when it comes to this shit. If your daughter ever found out, I am sure you would discuss with her. I would also expect you to speak to your family about not engaging with the child on this. What happened between you and your ex was between you two.

This case was completely blown out of proportion by the ex. They had just separated. There were emotions that escalated. The ex decided to play a card she shouldn’t have. The police did what they did based on the info they had. The school released her. I can’t recall the poster a few weeks ago who asked about the school releasing info. Schools have a lock down system when they have legal agreements in place or directions from parents. There was nothing in place. He was free to see his kid. Why would she call the police and provide a photo of him when she knew he had her?

I can see why you would see this the way you are iona but there are too many factors here that scream mom was trying a power play. This is no different than a parent falsely abducting their kid and claiming their ex is dangerous.
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  #19  
Old 03-20-2019, 04:31 PM
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I would postulate that the parents will reconcile and the kid will joke about this at future wedding....
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  #20  
Old 03-20-2019, 05:00 PM
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the worst thing about this...the officers went into the store with guns drawn. How traumatized is this little girl going to be from this whole thing? She will remember the officers arresting her father, the guns and the whole commotion that happened.
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