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Common Law Issues The law regarding common law relationships is different than in cases of divorce. Discuss the issues that affect unmarried couples here.

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Old 11-05-2006, 02:26 AM
Leathal Leathal is offline
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Angry I need help!!

I met this person 3 years ago on Laval Life a online meeting and dating service, we seemed to hit it off very well at first; she has been married once ready and has a kid who just started University in Ottawa this year.

We have had our financial problems, I had a business I was trying to get going that she sunk money into but it failed. So while I figured out what I was going to do next she was paying the bills etc with money she has received from settlement from her previous relationship.

She apparently has had issues with her back in leg bothering her for the past 17 years, I didn't know the full extent to her issues until she went for a CAT scan on her back and missed the oppointment becuase she went out drinking instead; the pain was too intense for her and booze helps her....

Booze is very bad for her. When she drinks enough she turns into the angry drunk and it frightens and as well as pisses me off....

Anyhow when we where living at this place she was going out late a night drinking at this bar; one night she didn't come home and her son and I called the cops, when she did come home she told us she met some people at the bar and stay the night with them. They found her out walking around, but the next time she did it I saw outside the next morning and that's when she asked me "is there anything you want to ask me?"... I was kind of lost for words as I didn't know what she meant.

Things started to get very bumpy at this point, I asked to if I could meet her friend and she said "no.. he wouldn't want to meet too..." then tried to change the story around so it sounded nicer. Then later she tells me his name and that they are only friends because he had just fallen out of a bad relationship.

So.. on the day of our move the ex didn't tell me the movers only accepte cash, and at the same time she was getting ready to go visited her friends in another provance which was arrange a month in advance, I was upset because I have been through a lot over the last 9 months now, I was in a motorcycle accident and suffered a concussion which I still suffer from back pains, post concussion head ache every day, memory problems, and other things. So I talked to my friends who suggested I just move my stuff out and leave it up her to move her stuff. My stuff fits in a 400 sq foot room while hers takes up two 600 sq foot rooms.

She comes back and gets mad. Then arranges for the movers to come again and blows that off, I had to tell them to go away as she wasn't even at the old place like she promised he would be making sure everything was ready; I was working...

So she arranges for these other movers to come, and they move stuff. Then she starts to vanish and I start to get suspecious. She has an myspace.com account which she let me have access to before just to make sure she doesn't do anything bad, not that I really cared at that point. But since her email address was on my email server I had to do something bad, spy on her, I requested myspace to resend her password to her account which looked up.

I found an email to this guy who shes been seening who also have a myspace account. In it she says that while she was visiting her friends that she kept having images of him in her mind... that all she could think of was having orgasms with him... I talked to her mother who forwarded the information to her son, and he and I talked. As it turns out when th ex asked me "so do you want to know anything?" he indeed had an affair with this other guy who she told her son about; he was pretty pissed off at the time and she promised him that she would break it off with this other guys. He was not surprised to hear this bit of information as I could tell he it only made him more mad. Also the email clearly stated she was going to gracefuly end the relationship with me.

I called her new lover on the phone and go his voice mail and suggested the ex live with him for a few days until she gets her stuff together. Adventuraly she comes home and starts snooping on my computer reading my emails and seeing I was talking her mother she threw a fit which I ignored because I knew and know that I can't say just how much I really knew.

Anyhow she adventurally took the bait and fired off another email to this guy saying how her years in doing secret shopping (thats where people pose as buyers interested in products or services but are actually evaluating a store) paid off as the story she told me about this other guy fallen out of a relationship and how they were just friends was a lie.

So where do I stand now? Well she came in one last time while I was talking to a good friend of mine on the phone and started to snoop on my computer (in front of me) as soon as I tried to press ALT+F4 she grabbed my 20.1" LCD and tried to smash it. I pushed her out of the way, and before I knew it I was faced with no choice but to pin her down as he was kicking, punching, clawing, and biting me. I am not a violant person so I felt pining her down and siting in her would be the only solution and it worked as she got tired after 30mins of wrestling around and wanted out of the room I was in. She had been drinking becaues I could smell it on her, she also said "either you kill me now or I will call the cops or have my friend come over and beat the living crap out of you." I was scared after she left the room to the point where closed the door (it had a lock on the inside) locked it, and put a piece of heavy furniture against it.

She left the next morning. Her stuff was still here and still is, so I gave it a couple of days then signed the lease with the land lord only with my name on it and changed the locks. I also setup the voice mail message on our phone to tell her I just want her to arrange a time and day, during the day, to come and get all her stuff out of here. I know she has listen to it once or twice as she has called here wanting to come over and move some of it over; which I have been co-oportive and allowing her do to.

But now things are worse again. She told me she got an appartment but it seems her relationship with this other guy is done as she's been trying to get her way back in here and not wanting to leave. Like this last Thursday she came over and fell asleep she then refused the next morning to leave siting she has not money for food, her medications, and her stuff is in my house, and she need at least a day to use the phone to get things in order, I had to go to work so I did. When I came back she was still here, today he told me she was going to the hospital as she was crashing because of her meds, so I locked the door and won't let her back in.

As for are her she has a bad back and leg, I have tired to help her over the years as her family doctor is a idiot and is not helping her but seems to have brained washed her into thinking that her leg problem is a hit and miss as far as getting better (no very professional). I have even tried to get her to see antoher doctor who I recomended (a good friend of mines father who's in his 70s now.. who knows a lot of really well known specialists..etc) but she blew that chance away by not going to the appointment I made for her.

Before my motorcycle accident I was the only person brining in the most money, she was doing secret shopping and bringing in $400 a month, I am a Network and Security IT guy making okay money.

She got a line of credit and paid for my motorcycle and gear in 2005, he feels that I owe her $17,000 ; And started to get into the "well I did buy that razor you use so technically it's mine..." crap. Personally I'd give her everyhing except for whats in my 400 sq foot space if she wanted it, I just need my computers (which contain client data on them worth far more than $17,000) my stereo and speakers which I owned before we met, my TV, my bed, my clothes, software, music cds, etc.. (400 sq foot isn't a lot).

What do I have to do to get this person out of my life for good? I have told her it's over, I am the sole renter of this place and have paid over $3000 to move her and my stuff from the old place (including first and last). I am at the point to consulting legal aid as I really don't know what to do!

Looking for help ASAP.. Otherwise I am going to call Legal Aid on Monday and ask for legal advice.

Thanks
Leathal
  #2  
Old 11-05-2006, 02:51 AM
Leathal Leathal is offline
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After reading through I typed I am noticing a lot of error.. in some cases were I put "he" it should be "she". Since I can't find the "edit" button or link I can't make the changes.

Leathal
  #3  
Old 11-05-2006, 09:21 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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Leathal,

thats quite a history and as such if it was me I would definitely sever the relationship and try to block the individual from your life. When violence does occur such that you have to pin an individual down, those are warnings signs that similar events may happen again, and someone is going to be charged with criminal charges.

If she is claiming you owe her money and you feel you don't, then let her bring forth legal action against you such as a small claims action. Until then keep your distance and try not to worry about it.

lv
  #4  
Old 11-05-2006, 09:57 PM
Leathal Leathal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by logicalvelocity
Leathal,

thats quite a history and as such if it was me I would definitely sever the relationship and try to block the individual from your life. When violence does occur such that you have to pin an individual down, those are warnings signs that similar events may happen again, and someone is going to be charged with criminal charges.

If she is claiming you owe her money and you feel you don't, then let her bring forth legal action against you such as a small claims action. Until then keep your distance and try not to worry about it.

lv
I realized after talking to a friend who I talk to a lot about my problems with the Ex because he's been down so many roads with women in his life that my Ex did tell me that her and I should go our separate ways in August of this year, so we cohabitated until the end or beginning of September where I though we where patching things up; then thats where thing got ugly.

So my next question is did the relationship offically end in August and a new started at the end of August/September?

Thanks
Leathal
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