Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #11  
Old 03-31-2016, 01:51 PM
stripes stripes is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,838
stripes is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janibel View Post
Well, it's like you said yourself, bills were paid, house was relatively clean, no abuse etc. My father was a hard worker and took care of business, most alcoholics can be very charming and respectable when sober ... It's very difficult to prove psychological abuse in court.

The effects of living with an alcoholic may not be obvious in the short term. That's why groups like Al-Anon are so helpful in understanding the trauma associated with spending many years with a person suffering from this disease.

^^^ You got it. The man in question is good at compartmentalizing - he can keep his job, most people who meet him think he's charming and funny at first, he hasn't gotten into criminal trouble because of his drinking (yet), etc. There's nothing obvious that screams "INCAPABLE OF PARENTING!!".

He's similar to my ex. I wish I'd known about Al-Anon when I was married - don't know if it would have made any difference to the outcome of the marriage, but it might have helped me understand why my ex acted the way he did.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 03-31-2016, 04:16 PM
Janibel's Avatar
Janibel Janibel is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Way up North
Posts: 1,496
Janibel will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by stripes View Post
He's similar to my ex. I wish I'd known about Al-Anon when I was married - don't know if it would have made any difference to the outcome of the marriage, but it might have helped me understand why my ex acted the way he did.
Stripes, I was going to PM you and then thought that my story might help somebody out there ... as I wrote above, Al-Anon did do me good as a teenager dealing with an alcoholic father - yet it wasn't enough to stop me from getting married to one and putting up with it for over 25 years. My ex was physically abusive when drunk .... I guess what they say is true, we end up marrying what we are familiar with? I felt as though life had 'set me up' for failure?

Thanks to some very dear friends and a lot of soul-searching, I'm over it

As a parent I'm very aware of the subtle influence that I have on my own son, I go out of my way to show a good example. He's 27 sober and drug free thank God.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Friend visit in matrimonial home Pinto Divorce & Family Law 7 05-13-2011 12:38 PM
friend in need whattodonow Financial Issues 8 10-03-2009 10:46 PM
Friend did first mediation littleman Divorce & Family Law 7 02-13-2009 06:12 AM
living with a friend stressedout General Chat 3 01-16-2009 06:48 AM
Question for a friend... Duped Divorce & Family Law 9 12-25-2008 01:26 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:58 AM.