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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 12-04-2012, 11:44 AM
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Default holidays and going forward

Hi everyone
I know there are a ton of posts on holiday schedules, but I'm doing an excel spreadsheet with every year laid out until 2023 when the kids are all 18 and outlining every day/time exchange so as not to leave any room hopefully for misinterpretation.
Currently we do 50/50...week on /week off and exchange our kids at 4pm on Sundays. I am not looking to switch this.

The current thoughts/premise with what we have been working on are that the holidays are based on the kids...having to bounce for just a day or two at each parents isn't fair when we do have 50/50...so trying to reduce the transition time as much as possible. One week we take into account is Christmas day @ 4pm - New Years day @ 4pm. (dad gets this even years, mom on odd years).

So is our schedule for last year, and this year;

2011 (odd year)
Sun Dec 18 @ 4pm - Sun Dec 25 @ 4pm with dad
Sun Dec 25 @ 4pm -Sun Jan 1 @ 4pm with mom
Sun Jan 1 @ 4pm - Sun Jan 8 @ 4pm with dad

2012 (even year)
Sun Dec 9 @ 4pm-Sun Dec 16 @ 4pm with dad
Sunday Dec. 16 @ 4pm - Tuesday Dec. 25th @ 4pm with mom
Tues Dec 25th @ 4pm - Tue Jan 1 @ 4pm with dad
Tue Jan 1 @ 4pm - Sun Jan 6 @ 4pm with mom
Sun Jan 7 @ 4pm -Sun Jan 13 @ 4pm wtih dad

How do we keep this as simple (as similiar to up above) without adding in crazy transition days with 1 day here, 1 day there...but still try to keep the 1 week being from Christmas Day @ 4 until New Years Day @ 4 with one parent. Going forward how would you handle it if Christmas day was on a Friday say ? Thanks for your thoughts...
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Old 12-04-2012, 11:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by May_May View Post
Hi everyone
I know there are a ton of posts on holiday schedules, but I'm doing an excel spreadsheet with every year laid out until 2023 when the kids are all 18 and outlining every day/time exchange so as not to leave any room hopefully for misinterpretation.
Currently we do 50/50...week on /week off and exchange our kids at 4pm on Sundays. I am not looking to switch this.

The current thoughts/premise with what we have been working on are that the holidays are based on the kids...having to bounce for just a day or two at each parents isn't fair when we do have 50/50...so trying to reduce the transition time as much as possible. One week we take into account is Christmas day @ 4pm - New Years day @ 4pm. (dad gets this even years, mom on odd years).

So is our schedule for last year, and this year;

2011 (odd year)
Sun Dec 18 @ 4pm - Sun Dec 25 @ 4pm with dad
Sun Dec 25 @ 4pm -Sun Jan 1 @ 4pm with mom
Sun Jan 1 @ 4pm - Sun Jan 8 @ 4pm with dad

2012 (even year)
Sun Dec 9 @ 4pm-Sun Dec 16 @ 4pm with dad
Sunday Dec. 16 @ 4pm - Tuesday Dec. 25th @ 4pm with mom
Tues Dec 25th @ 4pm - Tue Jan 1 @ 4pm with dad
Tue Jan 1 @ 4pm - Sun Jan 6 @ 4pm with mom
Sun Jan 7 @ 4pm -Sun Jan 13 @ 4pm wtih dad

How do we keep this as simple (as similiar to up above) without adding in crazy transition days with 1 day here, 1 day there...but still try to keep the 1 week being from Christmas Day @ 4 until New Years Day @ 4 with one parent. Going forward how would you handle it if Christmas day was on a Friday say ? Thanks for your thoughts...
Until 2023?!?

Wow. Are you like, on the 'anal' side of things in life?

:P
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Old 12-04-2012, 11:57 AM
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dad is HCP...trying to avoid any issues I can going forward
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Old 12-04-2012, 03:31 PM
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If I was handed that schedule I would turn into a HCP. Dad had Xmas morning until 4pm with the children last year. Why not set the schedule up so that in even years you have the children from 4pm Xmas eve until 4pm Xmas day and he has them in odd years; in the event that you are to have the children at that time then nothing changes and you carry on. And perhaps switch up January 1st if that is an important holiday as well, ie. you have odd years and he has even years?

And to set up a schedule until 2023? I can't imagine. I don't know what the heck is going to happen tomorrow let alone 11 years from now.
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Old 12-04-2012, 03:53 PM
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How about this: Just continue your normal week on/off schedule ... but
- do the last exchange before xmas earlier i.e. so that XMASWEEK starts Friday from school (instead of 2 days later). NYDWEEK starts Sat afternoon 8 days later. Regular schedule resumes at school Monday morning 9 days later.
- switch XMASWEEK and NYDWEEK IF NECESSARY to ensure that they alternate yearly between parents.
- Note that these exchange times ensure that XMASWEEK always contains Dec 24/25, and NYDWEEK always contains Dec31/Jan1.

Compared to the usual schedule, the parent having the week before XMASWEEK will lose a bit of time before xmas (due to the early handover), but gain the time back assuming they have NYDWEEK which starts 24h earlier than the usual pickup and ends 1 overnight later.

Last edited by dinkyface; 12-04-2012 at 03:57 PM.
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Old 12-04-2012, 04:01 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Why not keep your usual week about schedule but provide that, for christmas, the parent who does not have regularly have custody of the child that week be entitled to parenting time with the child from 3pm Christmas day until 5pm Boxing Day.

Over the course of time, it will all come out in the wash and all you are adjusting is one day. Given your schedule, you somehow pushed your parenting time forward and gained an extra couple days, which, if I was the other parent, would piss me off as well.

If you keep it simple, only look to adjust 1 day/overnight, which over the course of time will balance itself out, it will make like a lot easier.

I would not try and plan things out for the next 10 years as one simply doesn't know what the future will bring.
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Old 12-04-2012, 05:21 PM
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have to remember also that when the kids get older they may not like the way the time is dictated. They may have plans with friends etc.
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Old 12-04-2012, 08:55 PM
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I see nothing wrong in planning until the year 2023 with a HCP.

Yes, the plan may change, or the kids may want the change. However, this 10 year plan will provide a baseline for the next decade. In case of disaster, this plan will take the place of common sense. It is not bad to have a fallback position that is something other than "fight it out".
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Old 12-04-2012, 09:24 PM
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Thanks everyone...Yes the intention is that this is just a guideline, to make it clear what is laid out in the offer, as well as the Parenting Plan. Hopefully having all three documents together it keeps everything as clear as possible. We have always accommodated changes and not usually has there been any big issues around changes. Just trying to ensure we are all on the same page with the same basic understanding, and then we can deal with changes and guidelines outlined for handling those in the Parenting Plan (if needed)...
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Old 12-04-2012, 11:29 PM
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I sense transitions are not a good thing or at least something you look forward to. Here's a XMas alternative - vacation starts Friday kids get off school and ends Morning they start back. That's 16 days and divided by 2 = 8 each; simple math where mid-point is. One parent gets 1st half odd years and changes the next. Yes, so sad without kids every second XMas, but if any issue coordinating dates or in XMas transitions then not doing kids any favour looking after own needs. Just an alternative view.
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