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  • #31
    Thanks Doll. Lol, Tayken - wee typo "handenough" in your post above. I dunno, just sounds kinda umm - you know, hahahaha.

    Yes FedUp_ will share any success I may have by way of useful info w/this forum. As much as I dislike the Court process - I'm smarter now and am gaining a much better understanding of things - I will not roll over and play dead for the ex to get away w/his bs. I'm prepared to let some things go - but there are a few things that need addressing before I'm done.

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    • #32
      I know that feeling hadenough.
      In the situation with my ex he figures if he demands, he should be catered too.
      Yes ok..right away bud
      I swear to god his lies have became truth to him.
      Sometimes, some of the things that come out of his mouth cause my jaw to drop.

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      • #33
        i like the way you think, cbarker

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        • #34
          WO: lol what gives, you are being much more pleasant lately

          FedUp: yes, patho liars. Amazing, the pure BS that spills out of some ppl. Like the movie line from Wall Street (I think) I'd love to say to Ex "when you stop lying about me, I'll stop telling the truth about you."

          Ex not worth wasting my breath on though. It can't be easy being nuts - I figure he's already pretty badly off (in that regard).

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          • #35
            Originally posted by hadenough View Post
            Thanks Doll. Lol, Tayken - wee typo "handenough" in your post above. I dunno, just sounds kinda umm - you know, hahahaha.

            Yes FedUp_ will share any success I may have by way of useful info w/this forum. As much as I dislike the Court process - I'm smarter now and am gaining a much better understanding of things - I will not roll over and play dead for the ex to get away w/his bs. I'm prepared to let some things go - but there are a few things that need addressing before I'm done.
            That is quite funny.

            Some times you have to assert yourself. Very few litigants are assertive enough when things get ugly like you have.

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            • #36
              Originally posted by Fedupwithcrap View Post
              I know that feeling hadenough.
              In the situation with my ex he figures if he demands, he should be catered too.
              Yes ok..right away bud
              I swear to god his lies have became truth to him.
              Sometimes, some of the things that come out of his mouth cause my jaw to drop.
              That is because they often do. Especially if you were not assertive enough in the beginning of the matters. You let some things slide, they feel like they "won" something and then try to leverage that throughout the whole proceeding.

              Even if you were just being reasonable in what you did. Reason seems to be something high-conflict ("difficult") people lack.

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              • #37
                Thank you for your insights into the situation I'm in Tayken.
                I was more than reasonable with my ex. He however is anything but.
                Again thank you.

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                • #38
                  Your "reasonableness" means nothing to an individual like your ex. He does not 'recognize' it, nor does he have the capacity (ever) to.

                  I cannot relate to the "playing field" these ppl's minds operate on - I used to say to my ex "does your head HURT?? It must (hurt) because your thought process is so out of the ballpark." (I probably didn't use the term "ballpark" )

                  We spend years trying to understand how they think; the where's and why-fores.. Then the day comes that you realize - the answer is they just ARE (that way). Hard wired the wrong way, entitled, narcissistic etc. There's about as much point arguing/discussing with them as there is with attempting to reason with a Tree Stump :s
                  Last edited by hadenough; 03-25-2012, 10:00 AM.

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                    Your "reasonableness" means nothing to an individual like your ex. He does not 'recognize' it, nor does he have the capacity (ever) to.

                    I cannot relate to the "playing field" these ppl's minds operate on - I used to say to my ex "does your head HURT?? It must (hurt) because your thought process is so out of the ballpark." (I probably didn't use the term "ballpark" )

                    We spend years trying to understand how they think; the where's and why-fores.. Then the day comes that you realize - the answer is they just ARE (that way). Hard wired the wrong way, entitled, narcissistic etc. There's about as much point arguing/discussing with them as there is with attempting to reason with a Tree Stump :s
                    Or a "fence post"...

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                    • #40
                      I do appreciate reading the back and forth between members here.....

                      but..... to address your responses to me Tayken - I have nothing to fear by having a divorce party, nor do I find those who have those parties as being egotistical.... and while this is a just an online forum (really not that different from FB) I found your comments to be rather extreme!! They leave me thinking that you've really had a hard go of it to be that jaded!!

                      I do agree that those who live their life honourably and do the right thing have nothing to fear about their nitty-gritty details being brought up in court ((though remember, we are not going to court...)) I can look back through my life and honestly say there is nothing there, nor is there anything in my FB history that I would be ashamed to see plastered on the front of the local newspaper!! Nor can anyone accuse me of being guilty by association!! These were lessons my (single) mom taught us from the get-go!!

                      We throw parties for graduations, weddings, birthdays, heck we even have wakes after a death... so why not for a divorce?! My own reasons for planning my divorce party are more along the lines of being for the benefit of our mutual friends - as a means to show them they don't have to chose sides... My idea of a party has never been some big blow out at a local kiddie bar... and I'm far to cheap to spend that kind of money on a bottle of booze!! My party is going to be a bunch of friends over to my new place, the ex is invited as well, a couple cases of beer, some cards, some tunes, and lots of laughter!!

                      There is cause for celebration in so many things in our lives, and those who can't see those causes, or choose not to act on them, IMO lead rather dull/sad lives.... There is so much stress going through separation, and so much pain going through divorce.... why not take a moment to be selfish for once?! If you can't be good to yourself, how can you possibly be good to anyone else - including your kids?! As parents (whether we are with our partner or not) we still need "ME time" do we not?! ((granted those who are just stupid about it should pay the price... favourite motto -> "Stupid should Hurt"))

                      I'm proud of my deep laugh lines at 33 years old.... and they're only going to get deeper

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                      • #41
                        I think most ppl on here are in some sort of conflict w/their ex and it appears that many of the posters have been, are, or are headed to Court. The fact that you can invite your ex over to play cards and celebrate is definitely a situation that is the exception, (on here anyway) and not the "Rule." In that vein, you are fortunate. A lot of us are being raked over the proverbial coals. In my case, it's been over and over again - and the "fun" still isn't over yet.

                        Comment

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