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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 12-05-2019, 10:04 PM
Helpmyspouse Helpmyspouse is offline
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Default Supervised access centers

Anyone familiar with these? What is the wait time to start access? I read up on the process which is an intake form and meeting but it doesn't say anything about a wait time or how fast the first access visit happens. I read there is a registration fee but it doesn't say anything about if there is a fee for each visit. My ex has not seen our kids in 7 years. A court order indicates he can only have supervised access. Just wondering if he suddenly woke up how fast would this happen. As a side note, I am dreading this day. He was charged with choking me and there is a restraining order in place. He can't have contact with me so it would be interesting how I could even drive them to the center if that day came.
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Old 12-06-2019, 09:13 AM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Depends on the area how long the wait can be. The one in our area charges $10/visit I believe. They also have a drop off/pick up policy where the child is always dropped off before the person coming to visit arrives and is watched by staff for 10 minutes or so, and then at the end of the visit the visitor leaves and the child is again watched for a short amount of time until the other parent comes to pick them up. That way you have no contact with your ex and arent even in the same building at the same time as them.
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Old 12-06-2019, 11:45 AM
Helpmyspouse Helpmyspouse is offline
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thanks for your reply. Are you saying that the visit is only supervised for a few minutes and not the whole duration? I have a problem with this if this is the case. The visit in my situation would need to be fully supervised. Dad suffers from paranoia and psychosis, refuses meds and he talks about really scary stuff. He would be dumping on them all his off thoughts and beliefs. I am not okay with this. I am familiar with the access centers used by CAS. The visit is fully supervised in a room where staff can see through a one-way glass and cut the visit short when dad starting getting a little off. I was hoping the independent access centers operated the same way.
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Old 12-06-2019, 12:04 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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The one ran by Salvation Army have visits that are supervised by a staff member for the whole duration, who is sitting nearby and taking copious notes of how things are going.
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Old 12-06-2019, 12:47 PM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Yes they are supervised the entire time. Hence the supervised access centre. What Im saying is that staff supervises the child before and after as well so you dont have to see your ex during exchange
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Old 12-07-2019, 07:05 AM
Helpmyspouse Helpmyspouse is offline
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I am so relieved. I'm totally not sure of all the logistics but I won't worry about this unless ex is requesting supervised access. For example, if we can't communicate due to the restraining order I put in place, will staff from the access center also act as liasison with respect to communicating back to us if one of us is running late or needs to cancel etc. I have no intention of varying the restraining order to allow us to communicate.
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Old 12-07-2019, 07:18 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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This is how it works:

If dads time with kids were on Saturdays at 3pm-4pm, he would need to be present between 2:30-2:45. He would enter the supervised area through Door A. If he shows up at 2:46, he is not permitted to enter and his visit is canceled. And we know how bad it looks to miss visits with kids.

So if he is present, he is sitting in the room waiting since 2:45. You are instructed to show up at 3pm. So you wont see him in parking lot, as he is in visit room. You are instructed to enter through Door B, which is elsewhere from the visitation room. You hand over kids to a worker, and you leave. The worker takes kids down a hall to enter the visitation room where your ex is awaiting in the room. You will never see him.

Dad plays with the kids for 1 hour with a worker observing closely taking notes of the interaction. He is always watched and listened to.

On the return, you enter Door B and a worker will bring you your kids. Your ex has specific instructions to sit and wait in the visitation room until 15 minutes after staff have observed you leave the premises. You will never see your ex, nor interact.
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Old 12-07-2019, 11:02 PM
Helpmyspouse Helpmyspouse is offline
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I am so grateful for your replies and sharing your experiences and knowledge. A family breakup is horrible to go through. I would not wish this on anyone. I don't see why anyone would get married without a prenuptial to protect your money.
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