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  • his lawyer playing games

    I believe his lawyer is trying to drain my funds by playing games with me and my lawyer:
    • my lawyer had to email 3 times to introduce himself before I told future "ex" to get his lawyer to answer
    • lawyer serves me through my lawyer, excludes the information re: going to the required info session; my lawyer asks for it---no reply, speak to future "ex"---oh they will look into it
    • says will accept pension value, then changes mind....
    • inform that "ex" financial very incomplete----ex agrees--they serve me with the exact same financial
    • future "ex" claims not getting my lawyers communications.....
    • keep telling ex to get his lawyer to answer back
    • each contact costs $$$$$$$

    will the judge look unfavourably upon this and it will work in my favor???? help

  • #2
    Originally posted by mememe View Post
    I believe his lawyer is trying to drain my funds by playing games with me and my lawyer
    Welcome to the Divorce Industry - it's a conflict driven, self-supporting machine that literally eats alive the people who choose to walk into its gaping maw.

    I've no doubt that his lawyer is trying to drain funds - but I'm equally certain that yours is as well.

    Every email, every phonecall, every fax = $$$

    The ONLY way out of this disasterous spiral is to take control of your legal proceedings. Your lawyer works for you and YOU direct the proceedings. (S)he is the expert when it comes to the law, but YOU can control the process. If your lawyer sent the other lawyer a letter (or fax or whatever) there is no need for endless followups; you should sit back and wait. These followups are unnecessary and cost YOU money.

    The math: At $200/hour, every 1/10th of an hour is $20. Every time your lawyer picks up the phone, it's likely being billed at .2 of an hour... $40 per phonecall. Are you SURE that it's your ex's lawyer who's playing games (or only his lawyer)?

    If you and your ex take control of the proceedings, this can be relatively painless. If only one of you does, chances are that that person will still come out reasonably OK. If you both let your lawyers run the show, they'll have a field day while you and your ex piss away every dime you have and every dime you'll ever make.

    Ironically, pretty much the only way to financially survive a divorce involving lawyers, courts, etc., is for ex's to cooperate at a level that they probably weren't capable of during their marriage.

    An alternative, enormously successfully employed by more than a few people here, is to get smart on Canadian family law and self-rep for at least all of the routine/administrative proceedings.

    There are others here way more knowledgeable than I and I've no doubt that they'll jump in with sage advice.

    Cheers!

    Gary

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    • #3
      My lawyer wants to settle and meet. His lawyer has been playing the games---and even if I tell my future "ex", he only believes his lawyer. I have already paid the big$$$$$ with a previous lawyer who charged me for giving me better instructions on how she wanted email attachments sent---I am sure you can believe it. I am wondering how I can use this to my advantage when I go to court.

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      • #4
        [QUOTE=Gary M
        Ironically, pretty much the only way to financially survive a divorce involving lawyers, courts, etc., is for ex's to cooperate at a level that they probably weren't capable of during their marriage.
        Gary[/QUOTE]

        That's funny you should write that, I was just thinking how strange it was that the stbx and I seem to be getting along better than we ever have writing up this separation agreement together before involving the lawyers. $500/hour seems to calm the emotions!

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        • #5
          Originally posted by mememe View Post
          My lawyer wants to settle and meet. His lawyer has been playing the games---and even if I tell my future "ex", he only believes his lawyer. I have already paid the big$$$$$ with a previous lawyer who charged me for giving me better instructions on how she wanted email attachments sent---I am sure you can believe it. I am wondering how I can use this to my advantage when I go to court.
          Then send a formal OFFER TO SETTLE. The only thing you can "use to your advantage" is a well written and FAIR settlement offer. Other than that all the letters, banter and BS about "meeting with the other lawyer and party" is crap. Put it all into a OFFER TO SETTLE and serve it in accordance with the RULES.

          Just because you want to "talk" doesn't denote settlement. Your emotional ploys and letters won't do much. If you have something to offer... OFFER IT. If you don't, sending expensive letters (as outlined by Gary!) won't win you any favour in court. All judges care about and will consider are formal OFFERS TO SETTLE made IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE FAMILY LAW RULES.

          Good Luck!
          Tayken

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          • #6
            mememe again with lawyer games--and now stbx is joining in. His financials very minimal--joint assets not listed. Asked for update twice. I sent my financials to him. It is apparent he was keeping detailed tracking notes of the investments we split and put them moneyseparate accounts--(good idea for others to do)---but none of these were included in his financials.

            Lawyer, even when letter sent, didn't send the notice for me to go to the divorce education session. (money for my lawyer to reset the date etc.) and on and on and on

            What tactic in dealing with this behaviour.

            Also---he makes 3x my salary yet he is showing that hsi assets are half the value of mine. His lawyer put bonds in the property section--we put an investment condo. How does the courts equalize the way the financials are done?

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