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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 10-14-2009, 02:44 PM
RF0508 RF0508 is offline
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Default Meeting new lawyer re: child support, advice needed

Hello, my husband (the "wallet") and I are meeting with a new lawyer in a couple of weeks to get some questions answered. We had inexperienced counsel when the ex brought a motion to vary last time, and want to be prepared when she comes swinging again for post-secondary for my stepson. Our new lawyer has at least 15 years experience in family law, and is costing us double what we paid. We were originally advised that we didn't "need" to ask for the ex's income tax returns, didn't "need" proof of stepson's enrollment in school, etc. I think he did us more harm than good!

What types of things should we be asking? Any "heads up" matters that we should be aware of?

For you men out there going through this...why does my husband seem to shove his head in the sand? Why won't he deal with this? It seems I'm the one doing all the research on the internet, and it's caused alot of stress, heartache and fights between us. Am I the only one who cares about OUR young children? Sometimes it seems that way. If it wasn't for me finding this lawyer, he'd have waited til she served him again. I think it's important to document every phone call, email, etc, and keep track of how many visits his son misses.

Old 10-15-2009, 12:42 PM
midnightvampyr midnightvampyr is offline
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Post secondary education costs are usually to be shared on a proportionate share basis of both parents. The stepson should also contribute. Furthermore, student loans can and should be part of the financing arrangement. If possible, the stepson should be encouraged to attend a post secondary institution away from dear old mom, the extortionist, to end the child support payments that might be going her way while the stepson lives in her "humble" abode.

I would also encourage you to write the politicians and complain about the extortion your husband has been subjected to over the years. The present law is draconian and was passed by the sexually repressed and sexually inhibited to the advantage of all extortionists looking for an angle and who do not hesitate to use a child as a pawn in this particularly ugly game playing.
Old 10-15-2009, 07:44 PM
Mess Mess is offline
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Originally Posted by RF0508 View Post
For you men out there going through this...why does my husband seem to shove his head in the sand?
My ex-wife also has this syndrome and it has caused our case to drag out much longer than needed. It is nothing to do with gender, so I can't answer you "as a man". My lawyer says they see this a lot, and label people like this (and often enough their own clients) "ostriches". They bury their heads and pretend that if they don't see the problem then it doesn't exist anymore.

Your husband is not a bad person, he just has a bad habit caused by years of conditioning, likely as not stretching back to his childhood. As partners you are a team, you don't both have to have the same skills and abilities. If you are good at this sort of thing, don't be resentful that you take it on.

If he is resistant to moving forward, be gentle but firm, and point out that the sooner it gets dealt with, the sooner he'll never have to think about it again.
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