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Divorce related question - family living in extended family scenario with in-laws. th

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  • #16
    Originally posted by ongoingstems View Post
    So let me ask you this.

    Is the husband required by law (or can the court make him) disclose his finances? He can move his assets around and hide them and claim to be broke.
    Both parties are required to disclose their income and their assets. Of course many parties refuse, which causes delays, until it gets to court and gets ordered upon penalty of fines.

    The portion that gets split is the appreciation of assets during the course of the marriage.

    For example, if the husband had an investment of $100,000 on the wedding day and it was worth $150,000 on the day of separation, then $50,000 is to be split 50/50.

    The house is the exception, it is usually split 50/50, but in this case it doesn't sound like either party owns the house.

    Business owners have ways of moving assets around that individuals don't have access to, often it takes a forensic accountant to find it all.

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    • #17
      Although there are posters who insist that 50-50 at separation is in the BOTC notwithstanding existing parenting arrangements, that agenda is not the case, nor supported by the system. The system considers many of the day-to-day practical issues, including but not limited to, the existing schedule of both parents and the kids, the care arrangements before separation, who was the primary care giver, the existing parent-child relationship, etc.

      The current advice she is receiving from her lawyer would appear to be correct- stay in the house, maintain the status quo until a final agreement is reached. The children should not be removed from their ordinary residence - I would caution her - no one owns the kids, she should not just pick up and leave with the kids. Yes, staying will be uncomfortable for her, but many of the posters here have suffered through an in-home separation as well, it can be done.

      She won’t be living the same lifestyle after divorce, none of us are. It is good that she has a job so she will have her own income stream. Where has she been putting her salary the past 15 years? She needs to start putting her money away and saving for her future after separation. What has her lawyer told her about ss?

      Obtaining full financial disclosure is more tricky, you’ll read many posts here of people failing to provide and/or obtain disclosure. Does she have copies of their bank account statements, paystubs, their respective income tax filings from previous years? That would be key information. If she can find them in the house, I would be copying them asap and providing to her lawyer.

      I feel sorry for her, if they are a traditional family this is going to be more difficult for her than for many of us. Does she have any support from her friends or of her own family?

      She may have a claim against the home, I wonder if her lawyer is pursuing a trust and/or a patriarchal owned home/inheritance the husband would be entitled to in that home as part of a matrimonial interest.
      Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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      • #18
        Just a question I have... if the parents own the house and her and the stbx are presumably renting, could the parents start the eviction process since she has no claim on the house?

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
          Just a question I have... if the parents own the house and her and the stbx are presumably renting, could the parents start the eviction process since she has no claim on the house?
          They could. But it would be bad form and a judge would treat it accordingly. They would have to do it under the Landlord Tenant Act, which would likely take months.

          To the OP, just because the STBX wasn't father-of-the-year, doesn't mean they are incapable of being an equal parent and that he won't be more involved post divorce. He will likely have to be simply due to the change. The fact that he has a support structure in place HELPS him, not the other way around. He has individuals he can rely upon in the event something comes up.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
            She may have a claim against the home, I wonder if her lawyer is pursuing a trust and/or a patriarchal owned home/inheritance the husband would be entitled to in that home as part of a matrimonial interest.
            I really doubt there would be any claim.

            First, she and her ex are essentially tenants. Second, while the STBX may have some interest through inheritance, the parents aren't dead yet and could easily cut out the STBX from the will, eliminating any claim the OP's friend may have.

            Unless the STBX's potential interest is in the house is very high (like hundreds of thousands) it would be cost prohibitive to even argue for it. The parents would be drawn into the fight and resist and distribution. And I'd have a hard time seeing a judge order a portion of a house, in which the person was essentially merely a tenant, on the basis that your landlord was you in-laws parents. I could see arguments against this, unjust enrichment being a big one against making such a distribution.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
              . 50/50 or 60/40 is deemed to be in the best interests of the children. If the father can parent, and wants to, he will very likely be granted, no matter how involved he was or was not with the kids before.

              .
              This is the way it should be, but sadly father's are far too often granted much less than 40/60.

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              • #22
                How old are the children?

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