Originally posted by arabian
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Originally posted by rockscan View PostYour question was how do you get her to go for your proposal. I gave you an answer.
My opinion is you are a control freak wanting to make your ex do what you want. Good for her to ignore you and let her lawyer deal with you.
OP- why does your wife ONLY want to use OFW? Are you guys high conflict? Are there are any restraining orders in place?
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Originally posted by iona6656 View PostYeah- I'm picking up the same thing.
OP- why does your wife ONLY want to use OFW? Are you guys high conflict? Are there are any restraining orders in place?
There are no restraining orders just a pair of people on the other side that choose to make things as difficult and litigious as possible on the other side especially when they get caught doing things that judges would frown upon.
They subtly taunt me a lot as well.
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Originally posted by OrleansLawyer View PostThen communicating the proposal directly to her will probably not solve anything, will it?
Dealing with just the lawyer here who will accuse me of not having a lawyer as if it is a crime.
It goes through her lawyer and her lawyer states that they (the lawyer) will not consider it and adds a few insults, ridiculous statements or fabricated accusations along with it. I feel like I am dealing with a crazy person but I know they are not; they are just screwing with me and others.
I hoped from a rejection from the client and not the lawyer.
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Originally posted by GreenGrass View PostIt goes through her lawyer and her lawyer states that they (the lawyer) will not consider it and adds a few insults, ridiculous statements or fabricated accusations along with it. I feel like I am dealing with a crazy person but I know they are not; they are just screwing with me and others.
If you want to MAKE them show it to your ex, I think you either have to bring a motion to get it heard or keep making offers to settle via Form 49A . Ignore the rest of the noise.Last edited by iona6656; 02-25-2019, 01:08 PM.
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Originally posted by OrleansLawyer View PostThe lawyer likely provided it to your ex, saying "this is the proposal, my advice is to reject it" and so it was rejected.
What I have discovered from my side is that I tell my lawyer something and my lawyer didn't send the message or statement I wanted them to. I even asked my lawyer to retract and restate and they would not.
In my exs case their lawyer is known to make as much of a mess as they can and have even stated they are taking a personal interest (?!) so as not to allow things to settle, there have to be lawyers that get a perverse kick out of generating large legal bills. I do not believe they showed the email to my ex.
How come I sometimes see things sent in email, sometimes I just get a call and sometimes they send communications on letterhead/fax?
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Originally posted by iona6656 View PostI wish this was true...but it's not. Lawyers are only *obligated* to present their clients with offers to settle. Everything else- they can basically use their discretion...I found this out the hard way. I found out later that my ex's lawyer was not presenting him with questions/requests I made- e.g. to share the cost of retain divorce financial analysts to prepare our financial statements independently. Cheaper- less fighting, etc etc...she never even put my request (which I made through my lawyer) to him.
Then there is the "bullshit meter" which frequently went off in my situation over the years. My ex often played stupid and feigned ignorance. My lawyer cleared the matter up by showing me proof that he had, indeed, forwarded information on to ex.
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I had a lawyer who was totally professional at all times with my ex. Ex went from having representation to being self-represented and then with another few lawyers to back to being self-represented. We used to cringe when he was self-represented as things were filed in wrong format... wrong court.
If you saw my lawyer and my ex have conversations you would have thought the two of them were great friends. Aside from the one incident when ex was ordered by judge to attend my lawyer's office to sign forms (and my ex accused my lawyer of threatening him in reception area of law office... sheesh) the two got along quite well. Oh, and I recall that the judge, after hearing from my ex about the alleged threat, met with my lawyer.
Divorce (and in my case - apres divorce) are highly emotional times. I'd recommend that any communication between you and your lawyer to opposing counsel and/or your ex be in writing when at all possible. I communicated with my lawyer almost exclusively via email and only times I met with him was when I had to sign something. I always insisted on seeing any correspondence that went out BEFORE it was sent. Same held true with any communication which lawyer received. Yes this may have added a bit on to the bill but it kept everyone 'in the loop' which prevented any misunderstanding.
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