She - not agreeing for child to go for dance or french classes

[rizwandar1]

Hi there,

Dad here.
Paying $2500 spousal support and $900 child support a month.
She does not work - i.e. never worked in the last 7 years.
Her Spousal Support ending in around 6 months.

Child goes to French Immersion School in Toronto - public school.
Child is in Grade 2 now.
Child went to French Centre last year to strengthen her french (Around $70 per month).

Child has never been into any dance or physical activity even though my ex has told me many times she want the child to go for Ballet - but ex never took any action into it.

Questions:
1. Ex not agreeing to continue child's french classes ($430 for 4 months). I have at this point paid for the class and books - but Ex communicated that she want the child to be taken out of the class and she will not contribute anything towards it.

2. I have enrolled Child into a Tap Class ($110 for 3 months). Ex wants her to be taken out of that class too. (I also paid around $74 for tap shoes).

Should I take the child out of the classes?
I think it's essential for the child to attend these classes.
I have not asked my Ex to pay for these at this point of time, but have asked her to contribute for other activities for the child.

What's my legal situation here?

R.D.
(perplexed).

[rizwandar1]

Another Question - Back to School Items

Also,
As per my understanding, back to school expenses include:

1. School supplies (notebooks, pencils, sharpeners, colour pencils, scales, glue sticks, etc.) (approx. $50)

2. One new outfit - this outfit will consist of a winter jacket and winter slacks. (approx. $100)

3. New Shoes ($80)

4. New Backpack ($30)

Is this appropriate. My paid this amount last year to buy my child these items. But my ex sent me a bill of $854 dollars with expensive shopping from big name stores.

My ex though is demanding the following:
* the school supplies you can get at any store the list of items Aysha may need for Grade 2
* 2 pare sport shoes in and out door
* clothing for sports 2 pair
* 4 different outfitting for normal school days for fall and winter
* regular 2 pair for indoor and out door (i already got it)
* school back she still using from last year which i bought it (it is not in a very good condition)
* lunch bag and water battle she still using from last year which i bought
* rain boots we must get this year with a rain coat...


Thanks.

RD

[blinkandimgone]

All of the school items you listed in your second post should be paid by HER out of the child support money you give her. That's what it's for.

[anotherSTEPmother]

Do you have an agreement at the moment about the extracurricular activities? If so what does it say, need a little more information. I would NOT remove the child from the activity myself.

[NBDad]

Should I take the child out of the classes?
I think it's essential for the child to attend these classes.

Do either of these activities infringe on your ex's parenting time? If no, or if the child can miss the activities if you ex chooses not to take her, then your ex can pound sand as long as you aren't expecting to get reimbursed.

The french classes you can probably make a case for, given the child is in immersion and attended previously. (ergo, status quo) HOWEVER, it would likely cost you more in time/court costs that the classes are worth.

Re: your second post...everything you listed comes out of Child Support. Simply reply to the ex that your understanding is that child support covers these basic necessities. Leave it to her to try and take you to court over it.

And if she does, you file a counter motion for the french classes and ask for costs for your ex being unreasonable.

[rizwandar1]

Do you have an agreement at the moment about the extracurricular activities? If so what does it say, need a little more information. I would NOT remove the child from the activity myself.

Hi AnotherStepMother,
In the agreement it simply states that:

The Parties shall pay their pro-rata share for any s.7 expenses. The parties must agree on the expense before it is incurred and the party incurring the expense shall provide an invoice within 30 days.

[rizwandar1]

Do either of these activities infringe on your ex's parenting time? If no, or if the child can miss the activities if you ex chooses not to take her, then your ex can pound sand as long as you aren't expecting to get reimbursed.

Hi,
Thanks for the message. I was not clear about the above para !

[NBDad]

Do either of the activities you propose (french classes and/or tap) occur during a time when your ex has the child?

If YES, is there issue with the places that these items are held at if the ex chooses NOT to take the child?

Basically if the tap classes or french classes occur during ONLY your time, OR if the classes/etc that occur during your EX'S time can be missed without issue, then you can go ahead and register the kid.

[rizwandar1]

Do either of the activities you propose (french classes and/or tap) occur during a time when your ex has the child?

If YES, is there issue with the places that these items are held at if the ex chooses NOT to take the child?

Basically if the tap classes or french classes occur during ONLY your time, OR if the classes/etc that occur during your EX'S time can be missed without issue, then you can go ahead and register the kid.

The Tap class is on Saturdays. The child is with me on alternate weekends. Hence my ex has to take the child to the tap class one two saturdays a week.

The French Class is on Tuesdays after school when I do not have the child with me. Hence my ex will have to take the child for French. She has taken the child for the french classes before last year.

[NBDad]

The ex can refuse to take the child to french and to the tap classes on her days unless you can secure agreement for the child to go from her.

The french classes you can make an argument for, but with the current wording in your agreement the ex is within her rights to refuse to work with you on this.

If you were able to make some sort of arrangement to get the child to french classes without relying on your ex, you would have a stronger argument for it.

[rizwandar1]

It's quite a bit heart wrenching..

[NBDad]

Get more involved than EOW and it'll make it easier for you to have the child participate in these type of activities.

Otherwise, yeah it sucks, but it's not your fault, you are doing everything you can. Kids aren't stupid and will eventually realize where the issue lies.

[rizwandar1]

It's not that i am not involved. Maybe i am too much involved perhaps (but I do not think that something like that exist in case of children).

It's the difficulty I have to keep this separate from my own personality. This relationship meddles with who i am as a person.. i.e. the relationship with my ex.