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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 09-19-2010, 05:41 PM
monkees monkees is offline
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Default Refusing to follow court order...

Ex by court order (consent) has access to children several times through the year. He lives in a different province and in the order he does not pay support as the cost of travel is high and he pays for it.

He has an access visit scheduled for thanksgiving weekend. Order states from Friday after school until the Monday. He attempted first to book the travel in the wee hours of Friday morning at the airport almost 3 hours away. I told him no way as I have to work in the morning. He has now booked the travel for 11am, at the airport close to my home. Still not after school. Why? Because he is cheap. He is literally saving thousands a year by only paying their travel. He is now refusing to change the time to accomodate their school hours and what was put in the order. It is a difference of a couple hundred dollars.

I told him they will not be going until after school, he wont budge at all and told me to contact his lawyer. I'm not refusing access, I just want it to be what is in the court order. I am beyong the "negotiating" point with him, he is far to unreasonable so I just follow the court order to a tee. Last time I tried to be accomodate and negotiate he in return barraged me with letters from his lawyer as he was not happy with what he asked for.

What would you do? Any advice on what I should do?
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Old 09-19-2010, 06:11 PM
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k first you say he doesn't pay child support cause the kids travel is expensive and he pays for it. Then you say he is cheap and is saving thousands by having to pay for only their travel.

As for him trying to save a couple of hundred bucks, I am sorry but to me a couple of hundred would be a godsend to me right now, to some it just isn't pocket change. The kids miss what, one day of school? To me you are making too big of a deal out of it.
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Old 09-19-2010, 06:17 PM
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I absolutely agree. What is more important? Have a kid spend a day at school just before a long weekend watching the clock tick down, or have the kids spend an extra day with a parent they don't see very often. Maybe the dad wants to spend that few hundred bucks on the kids? Maybe money is real tight, and it must be since he does not have to pay support due to the travel expenses.
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Old 09-19-2010, 06:24 PM
monkees monkees is offline
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He is cheap because he is saving thousands by only buying airfare. If he were to pay the guidline amounts he would be paying almost double. Therefore I really have no sympathy as to him saving a buck at my kids expense.

There is a court order in place for a reason he should follow it.

I don't feel I am making a big deal out of it. If i were to go against the order for whatever reason he would send out the witch hunt.
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Old 09-19-2010, 06:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monkees View Post
What would you do? Any advice on what I should do?
I would take them out of school early and send them off to their Mom's with a smile on my face and a promise that I'll have a fun time here with friends and turkey while they're away. I would joke around about eating too much and ask them to tell Mom that I'm thankful that we had two perfect kids together. I would put them on the plane with the promise that I'll be waiting for them at the bottom of the escalator when they come back. Pretty much exactly what I do every Christmas....

My advice is that you do the same.

And if it really is such a big deal, tell your ex that in the future he has to take school into account when planning travel. But, this time, you wish him a Happy Thanksgiving.

Kids are not possessions to be fought over. They are precious gifts to be fought for.

Cheers!

Gary
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Old 09-19-2010, 06:27 PM
monkees monkees is offline
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RWM1273-Not the case at all. He has awlays had an issue with not wanting to support the kids financially. He wont be spending the money on the kids either.
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Old 09-19-2010, 06:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monkees View Post
I don't feel I am making a big deal out of it. If i were to go against the order for whatever reason he would send out the witch hunt.
Then take solace in knowing that you're a better person than he.

This is about your KIDS and not YOU.

Cheers!

Gary
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Old 09-19-2010, 06:30 PM
monkees monkees is offline
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The court order states after school they are to travel so I think he should know to respect their school schedules already. I really wish it was that simple Gary. I don't see my kids as possessions at all.
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Old 09-19-2010, 06:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monkees View Post
The court order states after school they are to travel so I think he should know to respect their school schedules already. I really wish it was that simple Gary. I don't see my kids as possessions at all.
Court order, court order, court order.... quack, quack, quack

What do your kids want to do?

Gary
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Old 09-19-2010, 06:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monkees View Post

I don't feel I am making a big deal out of it. If i were to go against the order for whatever reason he would send out the witch hunt.
You are making a big deal about it. I would like to see his side of the argument.

Maybe he has a reason to set out a witch hunt. How did the relationship end, and how was he forced out of the kids lives?
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