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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 09-09-2019, 07:08 AM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Default School Emergency Contact

Is the non custodial parent usually listed as an emergency contact at school?

I have no issue with having dadís contact info at school. My issue is the emergency part.

Dad is a mechanic often out in the road for test drives or stuck under a hood of a car...

Should dad be the next contact after myself?
A) he lives 45 mins away
B) never answers his phone
C) my mom who is 5 minutes from the school have always been in the list as she is retired.

So my thinking is... the kids are always with me during the week... why would dad need to be listed as the emergency contact?

I guess I could make him third after mom then Grandma..

They now want the school verification forms. They are demanding them from me. After the judge told him to get this stuff himself??

Guess my latest offer wonít be getting accepted.


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Old 09-09-2019, 07:18 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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List him as 3.

In my case, dad is listed as call person 3. Simply because he works about an hour away.

1. Mom (works 15 minutes away)
2. Grandma (lives 5 minutes away)
3. Dad (works 40min- 1hr away)

If school doesnít get me right away, they call #2. It happened once when I was in a meeting room with low reception.
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Old 09-09-2019, 07:19 AM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Ok... thatís feasible...

My school hasnít even sent out the forms yet to be updated....

Guess I better call today.

Thanks!


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Old 09-09-2019, 08:23 AM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Why not ask him if he wants to be the emergency contact?


If he does, and he is not available, the school will call your mother. If he does not want to be the emergency contact then you have lost nothing.


Putting him at number 3 is risking a conflict for no measurable gain and is unnecessarily insulting. I know somebody who was non-custodial who got put at number 3 almost exactly like you have just described, and the argument spiraled into court. Well, when they finally got to court it wasn't about the emergency contact but that's what started the shitshow.


This is such a lousy hill to pick on a fight on.
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Old 09-09-2019, 08:32 AM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Why not ask him if he wants to be the emergency contact?


If he does, and he is not available, the school will call your mother. If he does not want to be the emergency contact then you have lost nothing.


Putting him at number 3 is risking a conflict for no measurable gain and is unnecessarily insulting. I know somebody who was non-custodial who got put at number 3 almost exactly like you have just described, and the argument spiraled into court. Well, when they finally got to court it wasn't about the emergency contact but that's what started the shitshow.


This is such a lousy hill to pick on a fight on.


I realize this isnít a huge deal.. but dad thinks he should be first in the list!! He is not available as described above.. but in his place his gf would be available as she barely works. I donít see how she should have anything to do with it


Or the last time there was an emergency I called my ex on the way to the school and asked him to come. As he needed to see what state our son was in... he didnít show up...

The school needs someone reliable and shouldnít have to go through a list of unavailable people.

He has always been listed as dad... but is trying to he is not...

I have registration papers so we are good there. He also thinks there is new registration papers each year. Thinks I with hold them. They donít exist. Lol.


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Old 09-09-2019, 08:35 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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If you havenít received the forms then tell them that. I have not received the forms from the school yet.

Janus is right. List him as two and your mom as three. If they canít reach him they will go to three. Thats why they ask for several. Truly, if there is an emergency, you will be the one to go so this is really not worth the fight.

Remember you donít need to show up to every fight you are invited to. They want the forms, tell them you donít have them yet itís only the first week of school. If they want to demand more info from others, let them make the calls.
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Old 09-09-2019, 08:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
I realize this isnít a huge deal.. but dad thinks he should be first in the list!!

...and your plan is to put him third instead after your mom. Clearly you are one of those people who desperately desire unnecessary drama. Instead of a complete non-issue, you are going to have a full-blown argument.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2two
Or the last time there was an emergency I called my ex on the way to the school and asked him to come.

You were already going to the school, why would he have to go as well? Is your kid so fat you need two parents to lift him up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus
This is such a lousy hill to pick on a fight on.
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Old 09-09-2019, 09:49 AM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
...and your plan is to put him third instead after your mom. Clearly you are one of those people who desperately desire unnecessary drama. Instead of a complete non-issue, you are going to have a full-blown argument.

I have not responded or changed any info that is on the forms... this is dad demanding to be an emergency contact. Thatís quite fine with me.


You were already going to the school, why would he have to go as well? Is your kid so fat you need two parents to lift him up?


Actually our child was in a mental health crisis with the class on lockdown Janus... and I thought it was important that he have both parents there to support him. He was then taken to the hospital at which time dad still couldnít find the time to show up... maybe you shouldnít assume before you sling silly assumptions.

Also.. I just spoke with the school... the order of contacts BEFORE emergency contacts are called is always
primary parent
Then the other parent...

If they canít be reached then they go to emergency contact list.

Parents should not be emergency contact as they are always contacted first.

So this is why dad doesnít need to be an emergency contact as he is always second in line no matter what.


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Old 09-09-2019, 10:32 AM
tilt tilt is offline
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He is not available as described above.. but in his place his gf would be available

You probably know this, but schools do not accept substitutions when it comes to emergency contacts. So if he answers the call and sends his girlfriend, the school will not release the child to the gf, nor pass on information to her.
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Old 09-09-2019, 11:01 AM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tilt View Post
He is not available as described above.. but in his place his gf would be available

You probably know this, but schools do not accept substitutions when it comes to emergency contacts. So if he answers the call and sends his girlfriend, the school will not release the child to the gf, nor pass on information to her.


I would hope they would but... but I think he thinks if he is to give permission for her to get the kids they would. Except I donít give consent to that. That what he always does. Gets gf to take care of it all


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