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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 08-30-2019, 03:37 PM
Frostrated Frostrated is offline
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Default I will not survive this

My husband has just sent me an email saying he did not take us off his benefits, he merely told the insurance company that we're separating and to do what's necessary. This after last week sending an email claiming he will never take us off his benefits.

Also, he said he has arranged for movers to move him out on the 7th; however, if his name isn't off the mortgage by then, he'll have to change that date, as he will not leave until that's done. It takes 4 to 5 months! He's already stopped paying all the bills and the mortgage and now he wants to live like this for 4 to 5 more months??????

He's already stopped paying all the bills and I arranged for a new bank account for the mortgage and he's now saying he's only moving if his name is off mortgage. I can't take much more. It's like I'm living in hell.
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Old 08-30-2019, 04:24 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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What did they say at the bank? Was there any way to expedite it?
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Old 08-30-2019, 04:32 PM
Frostrated Frostrated is offline
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
What did they say at the bank? Was there any way to expedite it?
They said that it has to be done via separation agreement and even if the lawyer can speed it up, it will take four to five months for the paperwork to be done.
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Old 08-30-2019, 04:44 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Originally Posted by Frostrated View Post
They said that it has to be done via separation agreement and even if the lawyer can speed it up, it will take four to five months for the paperwork to be done.
I think that your bank is feeding you some bullshit. I bought out my ex and it never even took half that time. I went to a mortgage broker.

Have you even seen if you qualify for a mortgage on your own?
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Old 08-30-2019, 04:49 PM
Frostrated Frostrated is offline
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I don't but my mother agreed to go back on the mortgage with me so I can keep the house. I would never have the money to buy him out. He has lived here for six years, never paid a bill for the first four years and only paid for the gas and cable bill for the past two years. He's only been on the mortgage since April and used has only paid the mortgage since May. He said he would never take the house from me knowing it wasn't his when he moved it but I guess when you need to feed a coke habit, you don't care about anything else.
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Old 08-30-2019, 05:04 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frostrated View Post
I don't but my mother agreed to go back on the mortgage with me so I can keep the house. I would never have the money to buy him out. He has lived here for six years, never paid a bill for the first four years and only paid for the gas and cable bill for the past two years. He's only been on the mortgage since April and used has only paid the mortgage since May. He said he would never take the house from me knowing it wasn't his when he moved it but I guess when you need to feed a coke habit, you don't care about anything else.
maybe time to sell the house instead then.

You need to weigh the costs of fighting him about the house without it being a sure thing you will win. If you lose you will still have to either buy him out or sell the house plus be on the hook for some of his legal fees.

Plus with the legal fees you will incur will put you into debt so could you afford to pay those legal fees plus the mortgage?

Sometimes it is best to let go of the past and start fresh.
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Old 08-30-2019, 05:31 PM
Frostrated Frostrated is offline
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It's the fact that he keeps saying he's not going after the house. He's holding it over my head. I have to see my lawyer next week and see what he thinks would happen if he goes for the house. He mentioned unequal division. Because I owned it before him, the fact that he didn't pay a cent towards it, he'd have to show what he's done with his $100,000 in the past year, show his bank records to prove what he's paid for. He doesn't think he'd get much, but yeah, depends on the judge.

Even if we sell, there needs to be some work done and cleaning and yard stuff. I'm not paying for that myself if he's going to take half. In the meantime, I don't want him here. He's crazy and my poor daughter locks her door. In his recent email, he calls me a bitch and keeps saying "I'm not going to kill you". Why does he keep saying that??

Either way, I want exclusive possession. I'm scared of him and I don't want him here if he goes into a cocaine psychosis.
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Old 08-31-2019, 01:15 PM
tilt tilt is offline
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Go to a different bank or credit union and get approved for you and your mom to have a mortgage on the house. Have a real estate lawyer draft up the change of title, set up an appointment for the ex to go in and sign have the lawyer’s clerk and file with the land registry. This will take about a week. Your current bank is being difficult for whatever reason so just get someone else to give you two a mortgage, contact a mortgage broker if you need help (I can recommend a Newmarket company if that is anywhere near you).
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Old 08-31-2019, 01:32 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Originally Posted by tilt View Post
Go to a different bank or credit union and get approved for you and your mom to have a mortgage on the house. Have a real estate lawyer draft up the change of title, set up an appointment for the ex to go in and sign have the lawyer’s clerk and file with the land registry. This will take about a week. Your current bank is being difficult for whatever reason so just get someone else to give you two a mortgage, contact a mortgage broker if you need help (I can recommend a Newmarket company if that is anywhere near you).
I think what my ex signed was a quit claim deed.
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Old 08-31-2019, 01:34 PM
Helpmyspouse Helpmyspouse is offline
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You can't believe what he says. He will dangle carrots. He will go back on his word. He will make promises he can't keep. He will make deals that don't make sense. He will ask for things as a bargaining tool that he will not be able to deliver on. Why? Because he is a drug addict, unstable, unhinged, and disordered. You are trying to negotiate with a terrorist. You will get nowhere. You are living my life. I did this for a year. Nothing was moving and he was burying us in debt. You need the law to help you. He will never leave on his own. He will keep moving the goal posts at your expense. Even if you get his name off title what is your plan for getting him physically removed from the home forcefully. He will never leave on his own.
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