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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 08-23-2019, 03:30 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Well since the child has aged out of the original issues that could be considered a material change in circumstances. In which case, file a motion for additional time. The mother is never going to agree which means you are simply spinning your wheels. File a motion and let a judge decide.

Also, stop worrying about the cs and keeping it the same etc. In written correspondence you simply say it would benefit the child and point out all the ways it will help the child.
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  #12  
Old 08-23-2019, 03:47 PM
Mother Mother is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Well since the child has aged out of the original issues that could be considered a material change in circumstances. In which case, file a motion for additional time. The mother is never going to agree which means you are simply spinning your wheels. File a motion and let a judge decide.

Also, stop worrying about the cs and keeping it the same etc. In written correspondence you simply say it would benefit the child and point out all the ways it will help the child.
Great advise! Thank you. The only thing I need some clarification on is the fact that child has aged be considered a change in material circumstances?


Especially agree with you on
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
The mother is never going to agree which means you are simply spinning your wheels.
That's exactly the case.



PS. I am not the one who is worried about cs.
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  #13  
Old 08-23-2019, 04:27 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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You want mom to admit it though...thats why. If she makes it an issue it will make her look bad.

You have a material change in the sense that the child is somewhat self sufficient—can feed, bathe and dress themself. They are also on a set schedule with daycare being phased out as they age. Going to school is a material change (I am pretty sure) and being old enough to care for themself is also a material change. If she moved then thats a material change.
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  #14  
Old 08-23-2019, 04:28 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Well since the child has aged out of the original issues that could be considered a material change in circumstances. In which case, file a motion for additional time. The mother is never going to agree which means you are simply spinning your wheels. File a motion and let a judge decide.

Also, stop worrying about the cs and keeping it the same etc. In written correspondence you simply say it would benefit the child and point out all the ways it will help the child.


I thought age doesn’t constitute as a material change in circumstance?

At least with the case law I’ve reviewed.
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  #15  
Old 08-23-2019, 05:01 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Going to school is a material change (I am pretty sure) and being old enough to care for themself is also a material change. If she moved then thats a material change.
I don't think it is- unless Gordon v. Goertz (SCC) has been overturned.

It's a 3 part test:

(1) a change in the condition, means, needs or circumstances of the child and/or the ability of the parents to meet the needs of the child;

(2) which materially affects the child; and

(3) which was either not foreseen or could not have been reasonably contemplated by the judge who made the initial order. (emphasis added).


I'm guessing when the OP says his kid is school aged- he probably means jk or sk, not pre-teen.

OP has a steep hill to climb. Add a sibling on top of that? Bottom line- age is not a material change. OP has not provided any other material change.

So yeah- that "creature" can actually tell you to go kick rocks.

Last edited by iona6656; 08-23-2019 at 05:06 PM.
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  #16  
Old 08-23-2019, 05:31 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Quote:
It's a 3 part test:

(1) a change in the condition, means, needs or circumstances of the child and/or the ability of the parents to meet the needs of the child;

(2) which materially affects the child; and

(3) which was either not foreseen or could not have been reasonably contemplated by the judge who made the initial order. (emphasis added).


BUT...what if it was simply an agreement not an order and that agreement has details in there about increased access upon agreement?

Number one is met because the needs and means have changed. Child was 18 mos and had different needs. Dad didn’t have the means to meet those unique needs. More than likely they agreed that parenting time will be modified as the child aged. Now that the child is in elementary school, the needs are changed. Child may not need all day daycare, dad could be available before and after school, op mentioned before there were behavioural issues. Many things have changed in this situation and mom is preventing any change in amount of time.
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  #17  
Old 08-23-2019, 08:30 PM
tunnelight tunnelight is offline
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Originally Posted by Mother View Post
And another denial from that same parent:

"this is not going to be discussed you dont like what I am saying you can go ahead and hire a lawyer. well go thru this again. we've done it once I'm willing to go thru this again

so if you are not liking my answer . get a lawyer !"
This where I suggest bowing down to her commands and hiring a lawyer.

Have the lawyer first send her a letter requesting the increase of parenting time, and asking for a response from her within 14 days, failing which my client will be moving forward with a motion to change. If he is required to do that, he will be seeking costs. There should be a closing sentence encouraging her to seek legal advice before responding.

After 14 days, he - the lawyer - will follow up to see what's going on and give her another week. If still no response or BS response, then move forward.

Please interview at least 3 to 4 lawyers and make sure to hire the one you get the best vibe with but not one that doesn't have a good reputation. This is a crucial first step that you must get right.

Please remain extremely cordial at this time and don't give her any ammunition to use against you. Ignoring her salty messages is always better than engaging - she will try to provoke you to do or say something stupid. Just ignore her and let her wonder.

Please maintain your composure and don't sink down to her level.

Last edited by tunnelight; 08-23-2019 at 08:39 PM.
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  #18  
Old 08-23-2019, 08:59 PM
Mother Mother is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
You want mom to admit it though...thats why. If she makes it an issue it will make her look bad.

You have a material change in the sense that the child is somewhat self sufficient—can feed, bathe and dress themself. They are also on a set schedule with daycare being phased out as they age. Going to school is a material change (I am pretty sure) and being old enough to care for themself is also a material change. If she moved then thats a material change.
Yes, the child does all this: eating, dressing, bathing etc. and yes, parents are on a set schedule, daycare is no longer in the picture. But I doubt it would constitute a material change cause I think if that's the case, every court order/agreement would be easily reviewed and changed as soon as a child is somewhat self sufitient, just like in this case.

Do I miss something?

As I mentioned before, this creature will never agree on anything another parent is asking for because this is a narcissistic, bitter, money hungry creature on a power trip we are talking about.

But everything eventually comes to an end. This idiocy will do too one day. It's just very unfortunate that the child is missing out on their time with another parent, suffering in the process. I mean really suffering.

This is something I cannot easily swallow.

Thanks again for yor great suggestions and thoughts, rockscan!
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  #19  
Old 08-23-2019, 09:04 PM
Mother Mother is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tunnelight View Post
This where I suggest bowing down to her commands and hiring a lawyer.

Have the lawyer first send her a letter requesting the increase of parenting time, and asking for a response from her within 14 days, failing which my client will be moving forward with a motion to change. If he is required to do that, he will be seeking costs. There should be a closing sentence encouraging her to seek legal advice before responding.

After 14 days, he - the lawyer - will follow up to see what's going on and give her another week. If still no response or BS response, then move forward.

Please interview at least 3 to 4 lawyers and make sure to hire the one you get the best vibe with but not one that doesn't have a good reputation. This is a crucial first step that you must get right.

Please remain extremely cordial at this time and don't give her any ammunition to use against you. Ignoring her salty messages is always better than engaging - she will try to provoke you to do or say something stupid. Just ignore her and let her wonder.

Please maintain your composure and don't sink down to her level.
tunnelight, again, great suggestion and it will be discussed and considered very carefully.


Thank you muchly!
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  #20  
Old 08-23-2019, 09:16 PM
Mother Mother is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
BUT...what if it was simply an agreement not an order and that agreement has details in there about increased access upon agreement?

Number one is met because the needs and means have changed. Child was 18 mos and had different needs. Dad didn’t have the means to meet those unique needs. More than likely they agreed that parenting time will be modified as the child aged. Now that the child is in elementary school, the needs are changed. Child may not need all day daycare, dad could be available before and after school, op mentioned before there were behavioural issues. Many things have changed in this situation and mom is preventing any change in amount of time.

rockscan, again, great points! There is no agreement, this a court order that does not mentioned the revisin f the access. Up until right now I didn't even know that this is possible to include in the order. So, now the situation i what it is and has to be deal with based on what it is I suppose.



again and again, the other parent is not agreeable to anything, I mean ANYTHING AT ALL. It is a "my way or the highway" person.
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