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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11  
Old 01-15-2017, 06:28 PM
Newfie76 Newfie76 is offline
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Trinton,

Please place your filter "on" when reading most of these posts. Offering you a chocolate chip cookie is a great way to show ones insensitive side....sounds a lot like my abusive ex wife.

With 647 posts behind you it sounds like you have been separated for some time. But if I could offer you some advice:

1) While it makes logical sense that the person (new male adult) that will be sharing the home of your children should be vetted by the parents, ie you; Its not possible in the current "family law" system. If you don't like the new person, just because of the way they look or speak etc. you would be wasting your time and effort to change anything. However, if there is anything illegal introduced into the household....get police involved ASAP.

2) Get out and date! Try online dating or speed dating....its fun. But never marry again; and never live with anyone who makes a considerable less amount of money than you. Get a cohab agreement and get snipped; to protect yourself from "Dead Beat Moms".

3) I have dated one women now for some time....she has kids and I have kids. She refuses to collect CS from the dad, as she says she is a true independent woman who can take care of herself. (That is such a turn on!!!) Never introduce your kids to someone else unless you have some time together (8 plus months). You can never know the other person enough sometimes...last thing you want is to intro your kids to someone who turns out to be a little angry etc... just make sure.....

4) Never think of the "guy" living with your kids as the "Step Father". This is a BS term placed on new men by the woman's movement. There are only two parents!!! One Father and one Mother. Unless one of you are dead....there is only one person can earn the father or mother title...and that's you with the father title. There are NO STEP FATHERS!!
I tell my kids this all the time. I am their only father!!! The more guys that move through their life holding the father term....the less it means. Hold strong...one father and mother model!!

5) Not worth bringing drama into the court....most likely will work against you. We live in a "No Fault" State. Which means even when you are married, you or your wife can have sexual relations with as many or with who ever they want as many times they want. It can not be brought into court as a negative in the separation financially or custody of the kids. Even if this action causes mental pain for the other...... Welcome to Canada! If adultery is legal and supported by law your ex can have sex with as many men as she wishes, right next door to your kids bedroom as they sleep. My ex does....

6) Refrain from telling other women about your personal situation....not until you know you can trust someone, which comes with time.

7) Join the CAFE group. They support equality in Canada. They also have resources for men. Your not alone. Also look up MGTOW;

8) Watch the documentary "The Red Pill". Your not alone....

9) Don't vote for Mr. J Truedoe. He just gave my Deadbeat ex wife another reason not to work; with the tax free child benefit money. With the money I give her and the benefit...she makes the same as a $22/hr full time worker; but she sits at home and has kids 50/50. Ahh socialism is great! This is called Socialist income averaging and government has no initiative to change it. Power to the lazy!!!

Good luck.....its gets better.. learn from your own and other men's experiences. Think about the kids first. Fight for your self and fight for your kids. When they get older they will realize who was the better parent.

FYI: I did a personal survey around my work; I interviewed 15 adults that grew up in a divorced family. Interesting to know: 12 of the 15 have negative feeling toward the parent that received money from the paying parent. It is wrong to force one to pay another. Of the 12, 5 no longer talk with the parent that received money. In the end who wins? No one.

Its time for change. Equality....everyone looks after themselves and family before marriage; and after marriage. A dream...lol
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  #12  
Old 01-15-2017, 07:12 PM
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blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Newfie76 View Post
Trinton,

Please place your filter "on" when reading most of these posts. Offering you a chocolate chip cookie is a great way to show ones insensitive side....sounds a lot like my abusive ex wife.
It was an example of an appropriate response to a child.

Perhaps Trinton is not the only one who needs to filter...?
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  #13  
Old 01-15-2017, 08:43 PM
Newfie76 Newfie76 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
It was an example of an appropriate response to a child.

Perhaps Trinton is not the only one who needs to filter...?
That comment on chocolate chip cookies was sarcasm from the original com-mentor. In no way was that a means to explain what a proper response to a child should be. Show your children some respect...they are not stupid; they know what is going on; dont try to kid yourself and cover up facts with the children. It will backfire in the future.... chocolate chip cookies are a great way to focus your kids to eat during stressful situations though...if that is one's goal.
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  #14  
Old 01-15-2017, 09:06 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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If it troubles you that your child is coming to you asking for your opinion about the other parent's sex life then you probably should really consider your response carefully because the way you respond the first time could very well set the stage for future questions.

Thankfully I was never in this position (and of course it is easy to poke and prod at things from the outside looking in). But being in the "cheap seats" here I think what I would do would be to establish right away that children can ask the other parent about the things that go on in that parent's house and they can ask you what goes on in your house. No big mystery, merely a stance on privacy and how it is important not to poke your nose in the other parent's business. So.... simply put, a response I would give to a child who is inquiring about mommy's new boyfriend might be "You can ask me anything about things and people in our house and you should ask mommy about things and people in her house." As the children get older you can simply respond that it is none of your business and they should ask the other parent.

Children can be genuinely curious but they can also be genuine trouble makers. Playing one parent against the other should be called out if you want any peace in the future. Establish your boundaries and encourage your children to do the same with regards to information about your household.

Oh, and this blurb was in response to your comments Newfie 76.

Last edited by arabian; 01-15-2017 at 09:10 PM.
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  #15  
Old 01-16-2017, 08:49 AM
trinton trinton is offline
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To me it seems she's telling child to come to me and say all these things in precise adult wording and I just say mommy's an adult, she can make her own choices, and we change the topic and I show her what an awesome person, or better yet, what an awesome dad I am.

You guys are right, her mom can tell her she's got other dads all she wants, but truth is, I'm her dad and the only dad she will ever have.


Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

Last edited by trinton; 01-16-2017 at 08:53 AM.
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