We are 5 years divorced. It was a high-conflict divorce and continues to be. There have been a number of issues that were mediated and litigated during the divorce - all of which turned out in my favor. He has been ordered to pay my costs more than once.
It is pretty obvious to me and anyone that has had to deal with him that he has some sort of personality disorder and/or something going on cognitively. (He's had a couple of serious head injuries.) A lot of his actions have not made sense, and his emails often don't make sense either. I have made every effort to remain business like and ignore his constant efforts to antagonize me and to be controlling. I think I have been successful here in staying on the high road.
I worry about my kids (3 of them who are 14, 12, and 9), especially my oldest who is showing a lot of things that make me convinced he is working on alienating him the most.
Anyhow we have been having a financial disagreement over the last few months that is going nowhere and I am out of pocket a few thousand dollars that he owes me. He delayed and confused this issue over and over and it is clear to me he has no interest in figuring this out as he knows he owes me.
I asked him to go to mediation as in our divorce agreement. I gave him a 2 week deadline in which to respond to me request and he outright said no because he felt that he was just right and there is nothing to mediate. At that point I went to my lawyer who wrote him, and he told him the same thing. He didn't say who would be representing him because he is so fully convinced he doesn't need it.
Clearly now this is going to go further. He already owes me a significant amount of money (mostly due to our son being an elite athlete...a section 7 expense) and now I have legal costs. This is the first time I've been in this position since our divorce was granted. The clauses in our agreement about dispute resolution are clear - we go to mediation after 30 days of disagreement, and arbitration if needed. It seems obvious to me yet he is refusing to follow procedure (a common theme with him).
Am I likely to get costs? Part of me just is concerned about the money he owes me, but I also want him to get the message that if he is going to continue escalating in his combativeness it is going to cost him. Of course it costs him (and the kids!) in other ways too but he is too vain to see that. I just don't want to end up going through this with every single disagreement when a few hours with a mediator would take care of it.
It is pretty obvious to me and anyone that has had to deal with him that he has some sort of personality disorder and/or something going on cognitively. (He's had a couple of serious head injuries.) A lot of his actions have not made sense, and his emails often don't make sense either. I have made every effort to remain business like and ignore his constant efforts to antagonize me and to be controlling. I think I have been successful here in staying on the high road.
I worry about my kids (3 of them who are 14, 12, and 9), especially my oldest who is showing a lot of things that make me convinced he is working on alienating him the most.
Anyhow we have been having a financial disagreement over the last few months that is going nowhere and I am out of pocket a few thousand dollars that he owes me. He delayed and confused this issue over and over and it is clear to me he has no interest in figuring this out as he knows he owes me.
I asked him to go to mediation as in our divorce agreement. I gave him a 2 week deadline in which to respond to me request and he outright said no because he felt that he was just right and there is nothing to mediate. At that point I went to my lawyer who wrote him, and he told him the same thing. He didn't say who would be representing him because he is so fully convinced he doesn't need it.
Clearly now this is going to go further. He already owes me a significant amount of money (mostly due to our son being an elite athlete...a section 7 expense) and now I have legal costs. This is the first time I've been in this position since our divorce was granted. The clauses in our agreement about dispute resolution are clear - we go to mediation after 30 days of disagreement, and arbitration if needed. It seems obvious to me yet he is refusing to follow procedure (a common theme with him).
Am I likely to get costs? Part of me just is concerned about the money he owes me, but I also want him to get the message that if he is going to continue escalating in his combativeness it is going to cost him. Of course it costs him (and the kids!) in other ways too but he is too vain to see that. I just don't want to end up going through this with every single disagreement when a few hours with a mediator would take care of it.
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