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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11  
Old 05-20-2015, 03:07 AM
The Iceberg The Iceberg is offline
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A: I am afraid not. The court likes to focus on present and future. But do include that anyway because you may get a judge who will find some weight in it.

B: That all depends on what is going on, how long the counseling will last and so on.

C: Absolutely. If you manage to clear all this and prove that she put the kids through these psychological crisis (here her past may come handy) she should lose the kids. You will have to prepare to make a perfect statement on how what she does has damaged you, the kids and so on.

Now focus to prove your innocence. Unfortunately I don't know how. Hopefully the kids will speak out how they were coached all these things. Ask the judge to order a professional assessment if you can a afford it. If proven that she lied, the cost she will be hers then. Got a mutual friend who could record her her and get the truth.

Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk because PA especially this kind sickens me.
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  #12  
Old 05-26-2015, 11:20 AM
FightingForFamily FightingForFamily is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thebookworm View Post
FightingForFamily, may you elaborate on your evidence strategies? Which experts did you see? It seems hopeless as I really don't know what to ask an expert for, they could not even interview the kids.
Since you are essentially stuck in the drama of being considered guilty until proven innocent, it is really hard to know what you need.

Some people will suggest polygraphs relating to the allegations would be helpful.

In my case, I did what is called a criminal risk assessment with a qualified forensic psychologist. This included clinical interviews, checklists, several personality tests and took several sessions to complete. At the end, the psychologist prepared a report of his findings and his opinion on my level of criminal risk around children.

He was later interviewed by police and CAS about the report, as there were never any charges or hearings in my case. Pretty soon thereafter my access was restored from CAS perspective.

If it's your ex denying, and not CAS or a court order, you need a motion for interim access ASAP.

Last edited by FightingForFamily; 05-26-2015 at 11:23 AM.
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  #13  
Old 05-26-2015, 11:46 AM
thebookworm thebookworm is offline
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Thank you responding.

*I have taken and passed a polygraph and the report is part of my affidavit
*Approximately how much $$ was your forensic psychologist fees?
*It is my ex denying, not CAS. My lawyer indicates that its less risky to have an emergency case conference to restore access, rather than a pre-conference motion for access. She says that you can't normally enter motions before a case conference and we wont have the benefit of a judge looking over the complete facts of my case, and the facts work in my favor, where as my exwife's testimony relies on shocking but false allegations.
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  #14  
Old 05-26-2015, 02:52 PM
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LovingFather32 LovingFather32 is offline
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Seems to be a popular strategy in family Law.

SHOCK & AWE!

Throw as many outlandish, shocking allegations as possible and see what sticks. They want to set the tone that "it's so serious and shocking that it must be true".

Why? No consequences. Just like abduction. A circus. But a circus that ruins lives.
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  #15  
Old 06-08-2015, 02:26 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Seems to be a popular strategy in family Law.

SHOCK & AWE!

Throw as many outlandish, shocking allegations as possible and see what sticks. They want to set the tone that "it's so serious and shocking that it must be true".

Why? No consequences. Just like abduction. A circus. But a circus that ruins lives.
Happens a lot before going to trial or motion. Vast majority of judges don't buy the b.s. anymore. Try to pull this stunt in front of Czutrin these days and see what happens.
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  #16  
Old 06-09-2015, 10:05 PM
sahibjee sahibjee is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
I'm trying to understand this part:
"Inconclusive" should read "no abuse verified" .. as they did not verify any abuse .. would be my thinking.
CAS is very very unlikely to clear the dad's name specially given the nature of the allegations. in my case based on mere false charges by police of violence against the mother - yes the mother, not the child; the CAS "verified" to the OCL case worker that the child was "exposed to violence"
-fact check; there was no violence and all charges were dropped before pre-lim. their "verification" was based solely on the ex's allegations and the charges again the charges were based on allegations from the ex.

Do read the case of the man who had to spend 3.1 million dollars to get custody (2014) of his 3 children, the entire war was waged by CAS on mother's behalf and at the end CAS was ordered to pay 1.4 million and the crazy nutbar ex was only ordered to pay 600k while the 1.1 million remainder was left for him to bear.
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  #17  
Old 06-09-2015, 10:43 PM
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LovingFather32 LovingFather32 is offline
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Quote:
At this point CAS was open to me having supervised access with a family member. The mother refused this.
CAS was fine with supervised access and mom wasn't. Maximum Contact Principle is not a toy to play with.

Quote:
I moved out and ended our marriage 2 years ago, after being made to feel like a lower member of the house than the dog.
You ended the marriage. So it's safe to say there were considerable hard feelings on her part. Are her emotions over your relationship breakdown clouding over your true parenting abilities?

Quote:
Out of the blue, shortly after my two girls (2 and 6yr old) came over for a sleep over, I get a call from the police saying the 2yr old told her mother I sexually touched her.
* About a week later, the boys reportedly told the mother that I touch them too and they saw me touching their sister on a previous weekend.
Whoo .. back up a second. So you had overnight access after separation (ex had no concerns).

Then police call, saying daughter reported sexual abuse to mother. Then mother LET BOYS COME THE NEXT WEEK? She seems ultra concerned doesn't she? No mention of abuse by your oldest girl because she too old to coach IMO. So did you mean the boys apparently "came out" that they'd been abused the following week? Or did they have the visit with you the following week also?

Quote:
She is asking for termination of access, and saying that I should not even have supervised with family because we will grill the children with questions.
You should not have supervised NOT because your a sexual predator but because you grill them? Interesting.

Phone recording's of her coaching children is golden (although I discourage surreptitious recordings if a parent is blatantly coaching a child it may be considered).

Your ex doesn't like grocery meat, was sexually abused herself and feels her son was a predator at 2 yrs is worth analyzing further.

She want's to homeschool her kids because they alleged sexual abuse which couldn't even be verified? Yikes. Not in their best interests to miss that experience on a hunch.

Quote:
They file answer with court stating that the children are attending sexual abuse counseling at a crisis center, but 'the results are not finalized
No. You are not okay with this. If they are to see anybody it should be a qualified professional referred by a physician. The party needs to be completely neutral. Get on that.

Is this what CAS is waiting for before they verify/unverify anything?

You had a forensic investigation .. Was that with SACA (sexual assault unit .. police)?

Quote:
CAS closed the file stating that I have no access so they have no role presently. They advised me to contact my lawyer to get access back. They state the results of their investigation are 'inconclusive'.
This continues to bother me.

Are you in jail? No! Did the forensics find anything? No!

When CAS get involved in a case like this yes access is stopped. The CAS contacts Sexual assault unit of the police force, who conduct an assessment (see if its a high conflict custody case). The police didnt even see me. But my daughter didnt report anything .. I just had a cray cray OCL.

Did SACA see you? Did CAS send a letter to both parents after their investigation? In a proper Child Protection investigation the worker should be sending a letter to tell the parents if it's "verified" or "unverified". If it's "Inconclusive" then what are they missing? If it's the CRISIS CTR report done by those not qualified then do your laces up because you're in for a ride.

To the other poster .. yes that was a crazy CAS case back in 2014. I also agree that they can go both ways. In my experiences their investigations were thorough and very professionally done and in a prompt fashion in conjunction with the police.

The difference here is that the dad has to prove mom put them up to it. That makes it "inconclusive".

Last edited by LovingFather32; 06-09-2015 at 10:52 PM.
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  #18  
Old 01-27-2017, 08:13 PM
thebookworm thebookworm is offline
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Its been about two years since I first made this post and I thought I'd follow up with some progress. In case anyone else in the same predicament finds this thread, keep fighting, there is hope!

After about 11 months of no contact, my lawyer secured an order or supervised visitation. I was lucky enough to find a subsidized supervised access center that was in the city my ex lived in with the children.

We underwent a section 30 assessment from a court appointed psychologist. He found no signs of abuse, but fell short of describing my ex's poisonous influence on the children. He ultimately recommended a generous visitation schedule for me.

For about 13 months I saw the 4 children once a week for 1h45m. I made the best of that time but I did feel the children saw me as more detached from their daily life. As much as I missed through supervised visits I do truly appreciate the workers at the center. Without them I would have had no contact at all. So far legal fees for the last two years are running over $15,000. However I did prefer one of the best lawyers in the city who I felt could untangle the big "high conflict" mess my ex has created. So far he's done a great job of that.

Just today I received an order for full weekend access, but supervised by family members. Looking forward to the next chapter of this saga, and very helpful for the support I received along the way.

If you're facing parental alienation scenario and need a friend who's been through the worst of it, PM me anytime.
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  #19  
Old 01-30-2017, 12:53 AM
trinton trinton is offline
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Final order or interim? Every weekend or every other weekend? Why does it have to be supervised? Did you consent to it or was it ordered against you?
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  #20  
Old 01-30-2017, 10:35 AM
thebookworm thebookworm is offline
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This is an interim order. It has to be supervised I guess out of caution, even though he found no finding against me. It is for every other weekend from Friday at 9pm to Sunday at 7pm.
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