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  #1  
Old 02-03-2013, 02:00 AM
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wretchedotis wretchedotis is offline
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Default What do you do?

I notice lately that in my personal situation - the ex seems to have 'ramped-up' the conflict.

I don't care to debate whether or not I encouraged that. But given that it seems to be happening - how does one calm things down?

Suggestions are welcome.
  #2  
Old 02-03-2013, 06:40 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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you may not want to debate if you encouraged the ex to ramp up conflct but you have look at your actions and see if there is anything that you did to make her ramp it up.
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Old 02-03-2013, 08:00 AM
Nadia Nadia is offline
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Only you know your ex and know how she would react and only you have knowledge of how "difficult" the situation is. Having said that in respect to calming the situation down, you have two choices

1) Do not engage and let there be "silence."

2) Send a carefully worded email stating (for example) "I understand that things have been very stressful of late between us. The intention of this email is not to lay fault with anyone but to accept that the situation is what it is and to try and move on. We have a son together and he needs us to be parents right now. So, can we agree to put our differences aside and work together for his sake."
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Old 02-03-2013, 09:03 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slughead10 View Post
shotgun? you could claim duress due to abuse....opps that only works if your a chick
really how is that advice helpful? Your female bashing has got to stop. You are just showing once again how much of an ass your are. You should be banned from the board.
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Old 02-03-2013, 09:12 AM
fireweb13 fireweb13 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
really how is that advice helpful? Your female bashing has got to stop. You are just showing once again how much of an ass your are. You should be banned from the board.
Not trying to start a debate on here, but how many females have you seen charged and or falsly accused with domestic violence?
I think the comment was supposed to be lighthearted, maybe the second half should have been left out but to suggest that someone should be banned because they have an opinion is a bit harsh isn't it?
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Old 02-03-2013, 09:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fireweb13 View Post
Not trying to start a debate on here, but how many females have you seen charged and or falsly accused with domestic violence?
I think the comment was supposed to be lighthearted, maybe the second half should have been left out but to suggest that someone should be banned because they have an opinion is a bit harsh isn't it?
an opinion is one thing, constant bashing of a gender is another.
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:09 AM
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It seems that maintaining silence in the face of inflammatory remarks is something many of us have difficulty practicing.
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:35 AM
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Smile pleasantly and simply repeat over and over. Please send be an email outlining your concerns and I will respond as appropriate.

Nothing pisses off a high conflict person more than someone who refuses to engage them. Thesecond you engage, you make them feel justified in their behavior. If you don't engage you deny them that, and most of them do not know how to respond.
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:46 AM
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SOS is right.. Funny - when I remarked that S-head should be banned, (re: yet another ridiculous remark he made) I apparently offended FaithAndMorals "to the core." Whatever.

WO: just curious, do you maybe stoke the fire sometimes? I know I've been passive-aggressive on occasions in my very limited contact w/ex.

I sometimes get the feeling that you may engage in similar, but I could be wrong. Best to do some "radio silence" for awhile, it is likely the best solution.

Last edited by hadenough; 02-03-2013 at 12:25 PM.
  #10  
Old 02-03-2013, 12:01 PM
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I make mistakes all the time. I'm not perfect.

So do we all. I don't involve the police over my hurt feelings though.

She has the thinnest skin going. it's practically non-existant.
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