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  • My worst fears have come true

    My recent ex just told me he slept with a coworker 2 weeks ago. Nice. I don't even know how to feel about it. I think I'm numb. It confirms that we are over and that he doesn't think about me at all. Sigh.

  • #2
    Well, it also confirms that men often think with the wrong part of their anatomy, that he is an idiot and completely insensitive to your feelings for even telling you that, and that you are far far better off without him.

    It's so hard to accept sometimes, but just keep repeating to yourself that hard as it is, as lonely and abandoned as you feel, this is still better than being lied to and used by someone who doesn't care about your feelings.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Rioe View Post
      Well, it also confirms that men often think with the wrong part of their anatomy, ..
      My ex-wife began a lesbian affair with a co-worker immediately upon our marriage ending.

      The co-worker was already in a relationship and had been living with her lover for over ten years. The lover found out and kicked her out. So she immediately moved in with my ex-wife, sharing a 1 bedroom apartment with her and our 2 kids (we have 50/50).

      I expressed concern that she had a new lover moving in instantly with her and the kids in such a small apartment and I was accused of being homophobic.

      This confirms that women are thoughtless jackasses who think with their vaginas, have no rational logic and don't care how their sex lives affect their children.

      Or maybe it just confirms that about my ex. Pick one, and then maybe you can revise your quote above that you made about men.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Rioe View Post
        Well, it also confirms that men often think with the wrong part of their anatomy, that he is an idiot and completely insensitive to your feelings for even telling you that, and that you are far far better off without him.
        Hey! You better think before you write... I am so tired about that bullshit about "wrong part of their anatomy"... I mean COMMON! May be you will go further and say "that man only the one who need sex" ? why not... Before you decide to add that all means cheaters you should ask yourself one simple question - with how they cheat?

        It's so hard to accept sometimes, but just keep repeating to yourself that hard as it is, as lonely and abandoned as you feel, this is still better than being lied to and used by someone who doesn't care about your feelings.
        Of course it hard to accept that probably it's 50% of this is your fault. Much easier to blame other person and keep saying to yourself that I was the perfect one and he just animal with basic instinct....
        ...

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        • #5
          Selfish jerks are not gender specific. They please #1 (themself) first and everybody else is less important. Selfish jerks might never get divorced and think of themself as a model of good behaviour and are blind to the hurt they cause others. Looking out for #1 and being inconsiderate isn't the domain of either gender.

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          • #6
            Think of it this way... at least you know, and can move on. And maybe his preoccupation with the coworker will mean he makes things easy and doesn't fight so you can both be free.


            and Mess...sorry to hear dude...but AWESOME post. Did you ask if you could at least watch?

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Mess View Post
              My ex-wife began a lesbian affair with a co-worker immediately upon our marriage ending.

              The co-worker was already in a relationship and had been living with her lover for over ten years. The lover found out and kicked her out. So she immediately moved in with my ex-wife, sharing a 1 bedroom apartment with her and our 2 kids (we have 50/50).

              I expressed concern that she had a new lover moving in instantly with her and the kids in such a small apartment and I was accused of being homophobic.

              This confirms that women are thoughtless jackasses who think with their vaginas, have no rational logic and don't care how their sex lives affect their children.

              Or maybe it just confirms that about my ex. Pick one, and then maybe you can revise your quote above that you made about men.
              I gave you medal for that Mess... Did you read about the Case when judge ordered that kid can have legally TWO MOTHERS ? Can you imagine custody dispute 2 mothers v Mess ? ))

              just black humor... to survive this you should have sense of humor ...

              Comment


              • #8
                Well, I deserved that for generalizing, but I was really just trying to commiserate with BCMama as that seemed like what she was after. Sometimes being sympathetic means not being realistic.

                Although, I do believe, based on sound research, that men, on average, have a higher sex drive than women, and it can influence their decision-making. Perhaps my supporting anecdotal evidence blinds me to truth, I dunno. All I know is that my ex always assured me "men are pigs" and I foolishly assumed it was a running joke instead of referring to himself.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Rioe View Post
                  Well, it also confirms that men often think with the wrong part of their anatomy, that he is an idiot and completely insensitive
                  Spoken like a woman.

                  You know, it's not just men. My ex-wife was sleeping around with other men while we were married. The strange thing is, she said when we got engaged that I better not be looking at other women. I'm not a womanizer and she knew that. Yet, by her own admission and count, in the few years we were married, she slept with a dozen guys.

                  As for BCMama, you guys are over so get over it. It took me a while myself even though I was betrayed. Move along as quickly as possible, it's for the best for you. You think he (in my case, she) cares now? No. So I don't either. She likely had a few other guys after we split but I know she doesn't anymore as she's very sick, been so for a few years. Call me cruel or whatever, but I don't care.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Pierre View Post
                    Spoken like a woman.

                    You know, it's not just men. My ex-wife was sleeping around with other men while we were married. The strange thing is, she said when we got engaged that I better not be looking at other women. I'm not a womanizer and she knew that. Yet, by her own admission and count, in the few years we were married, she slept with a dozen guys.

                    As for BCMama, you guys are over so get over it. It took me a while myself even though I was betrayed. Move along as quickly as possible, it's for the best for you. You think he (in my case, she) cares now? No. So I don't either. She likely had a few other guys after we split but I know she doesn't anymore as she's very sick, been so for a few years. Call me cruel or whatever, but I don't care.
                    "Spoken like a woman"
                    Really?? You give Rioe trouble for generalizing, by generalizing. See the conflict there? We're not all like that so I would appreciate it if you would not take your issues with your ex out on the rest of us. My ex cheated on me. HE did. I do not blame everyone with a penis for it, so that comment was rude and unwarranted.

                    "Get over it"
                    Clearly you are still very bitter about what you and your ex went through, and by answering so heartlessly to someone who is hurting you show that you do still care about what's going on with your ex and perhaps you are the one that needs to "Get over it' and stop lashing out at those who do not deserve your anger.

                    We all went through a tough time, some of us worse then others. This is supposed to be a place to ask for advice and see that we are not alone in these crazy situations we find ourselves in. Gender bashing and generalizing have no place here and it breaks my heart to see it. Just because I have a vagina does not make me a money hungry, cheating, court abusive psycho-harpy but there seems to be some sort of movement on here to label all women as such. Does that mean every man on here are lying, cheating, abusive jerks who skip out on child support? Of course not.

                    There are 2 sides to every story. Try to remember that before you press 'Submit Reply'
                    Last edited by MommaBear73; 07-25-2011, 10:21 AM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by MommaBear73 View Post
                      There are 2 sides to every story. Try to remember that before you press 'Submit Reply'
                      I would say there is three sides - his, hers and truth...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Gee, I think you're taking this comment way too personally. Yes, a woman is more likely to say this, not a man. Rioe did realize she's generalizing and I accept her explanation. I on the other hand make no apologies for saying that as I don't think it was rude.

                        Yes, I was bitter at what happened to me. But I'm not taking it out on anyone. I am not lashing my anger to anyone. My comment of "get over it" is so BCMama doesn't dwell on it too long. Life is short, best to try and forget it. Get on with life. She says she's numb. The feeling will pass eventually. We have difference in how we think she should handle things. Disagree if you will.

                        > This is supposed to be a place to ask for advice
                        I did give my advice.

                        > Just because I have a vagina... to label all women as such.
                        Well, I'm not one to label women and people in such ways. I don't wish to start acrimony on a public forum but if you disagree with any of my future posts, you're free to comment. If I think you're right and changed my mind and attitudes, I'll let you know and so much the better for me.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by BCMama View Post
                          My recent ex just told me he slept with a coworker 2 weeks ago. Nice. I don't even know how to feel about it. I think I'm numb. It confirms that we are over and that he doesn't think about me at all. Sigh.
                          Actually - what it confirms (in my mind at least) is that he is still thinking of you as he purposefully informed you. Why? To get a reaction. Why does he want a reaction? Because he still has feelings about you. And no - I don't mean he wants you back. I mean you are on his mind. Be that good, bad, or whatever.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by MommaBear73 View Post
                            "Spoken like a woman"
                            Really??
                            I thought he was being ironic.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Sex is Sex

                              Let's face it. Sex is sex. There is a difference between a relationship, and sex. There is a place for 'one-of's...' and a need for them...they have been around forever and it's a great way to burn off energy/stress for both men and women (however both should only be doing it when not in a relationship). Both sexes occassionally think with their 'man-picker' or 'woman-picker/pecker' only...and this probably won't lead to a positive/healthy relationship.

                              Is it OK for your partner to make a f'd up mistake and have a one-of after an evening of drinking...or is it better for them to have had a relationship with someone else for many years ? Is either something we can get over ?

                              I say we have to wait for the hurt to heal and at some point all of us will be over betrayal and look back it and laugh about what a silly mistake we did in selecting that partner...

                              Comment

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