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Kids being anti new SO

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Links17 View Post
    So I've found a new chick she's pretty cool.

    My kids are going ballistic about it basically and my son (12yrs old) openly threatened to move to his mom's house if I live with this girl. My daughter has made the threat but wouldn't be happy either

    I've been with the girl for a year, she lives nearby and I'm planning to move her in to my place for a couple of months as a trial and if things go well i might buy a place with her in June.

    Advice?
    Agreed, I think you need to figure out what their objections are, and discuss it with them. Be firm that you are the adult and they are the kids, but you want to provide everything they need to make the transition smooth.

    They may simply just want you all to themselves, and not share you. This is surprisingly common from what I can tell. They have their life arranged in a way they are comfortable with, and don't want any new person messing that up.

    They may believe this woman will be bossy and mean and other evil stepmom stereotypes.

    They want to feel they are your biggest priority in life, and by you upgrading this woman from girlfriend to common-law spouse, they may feel that you are putting her #1 instead of them.

    Their mother may have put ideas in their heads that you shouldn't be allowed to have another relationship.

    Originally posted by Links17 View Post
    I talk to them, give them space, do stuff once a week just us.... Not sure what more I can do
    Have they met this woman, and does she treat them well? Do they enjoy her company? Have you had her over to dinner, or to stay overnight? I would get the kids used to going on activities with her, and her presence in the house as a guest before moving her in. That may take a long time, and it's going to be a delicate balance to walk.

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    • #17
      The trial started. Before that we spent time on like 20 days of vacation together she's slept over often. They have been seeing her at least every other day.

      They say they don't like her daughter, which I respect and told them then don't talk to her. They don't think she is cool basically.

      They do like the wife but they just don't want her living with us.

      They also do say why should they live with anybody else, totally not concerned with how I feel.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by denbigh View Post
        that speaks volumes
        I didn't cause my divorce and I like having ass I can turn around and grab at night. Maybe it's not important for you but it is for me.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Links17 View Post
          The trial started. Before that we spent time on like 20 days of vacation together she's slept over often. They have been seeing her at least every other day.

          They say they don't like her daughter, which I respect and told them then don't talk to her. They don't think she is cool basically.

          They do like the wife but they just don't want her living with us.

          They also do say why should they live with anybody else, totally not concerned with how I feel.
          Well honestly if their issue is they don’t think the daughter is cool and that was your response? That’s pretty sad. I assume his new piece of a$$ will have her daughter there as well, how sad that her daughter is going to feel like an outcast and you’re okay with that as long as you get what you want.

          It doesn’t seem they have very valid concerns other than not wanting to share their space, which I can understand since your main concern is getting some a$$

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          • #20
            Just an update, things are going much better. I pretty much stayed the course and things are working great right now.

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