One too many

[+parenting]

I am self representing as is my ex. I have my case conference brief on Thursday and am dreading having to see my ex-husbands partner there. She has played a large role in the deterioration of our co-parenting and my health is poor at best.

I am 43 and retired in June due to medical reasons. I don't have time to get a note, if that will be part of anyone's answer, as I am leaving shortly for my day long infusion that will leave me drained and recovering tomorrow.

My question is if there is any way to have the judge ask my ex-husbands partner wait outside during our case conference.? I'm normally a very strong person but this has been a very high stress and toxic 4 year battle with her front and centre. My son has been diagnosed with bipolar and attempted to commit suicide, police have been involved, she has spend hours working on my ex-husbands emails, documents etc. that I am sent. We had 2 ok years of co-parenting with a status quo and she entered the picture it has slowing fallen apart. My ex went from seeing our other son every 2 weeks and every Wednesday to 4-6 times a year.

Thank you for your help and I wish everyone a wonderful day.

[Tayken]

I am self representing as is my ex. I have my case conference brief on Thursday and am dreading having to see my ex-husbands partner there. She has played a large role in the deterioration of our co-parenting and my health is poor at best.

Little known fact... CC and SC are closed mediation between the parties and their lawyers. So, you can have any other person present removed from the conference. Simply request that the person be removed as the matter is settlement and the judge will have to remove them.

The rule to rely upon is 17.(15):

PARTIES AND LAWYERS TO COME TO CONFERENCE
(15) The following shall come to each conference:

1. The parties, unless the court orders otherwise.

2. For each represented party, the lawyer with full knowledge of and authority in the case. O. Reg. 114/99, r. 17 (15).

Simply have the party removed. The rule is VERY EXPLICIT on who can attend. Lawyers and the parties. No one else!

[arabian]

I totally feel for your situation. Tayken is correct. You are in court with the other named party in your litigation (your ex).

My ex's g/f is the driving force behind 7 long, expensive years of litigation so I know how you feel. My advice is to stay strong. Don't email. What really helped me was when I demanded my ex hand-write anything he wanted to say to me and then fax to me. I had to do this as my ex's g/f uses his email and he is oblivious to it most of the time.

In your situation take good advantage of the case conference as your ex will be alone (or with legal counsel). One year when my ex decided to be self-represented he totally did himself in at court appearances when the judge asked him questions. He simply could not respond because he didn't have the answers... he didn't know how to respond as his g/f had done all the preparation for everything. It was comical.. it was pitiful.

Stay the course and don't do anything, anytime where you have to relate to the ex through the g/f. Remember, you're smarter than her and there are plenty of court rules which you can use to your advantage to keep the woman out of the proceedings (such as the rule Tayken cited above).

Recognize things for what they are - your ex is a wimp who has to hide behind his g/f.... this will come back to haunt him some day.

I wish you good things in the future and hope you can find time in your day to be good to yourself and reflect upon good things in life so you can get rid of the black cloud. There are sunny days ahead. Hang in there!

[LovingFather32]

No .. she doesn't have to be in there. If the judge has an issue use Tayken's rule. If you see her in the hallways just be confident, professional and try not to make eye contact. If you do, smile and think (Ha..you have him now lady).

[Stillbreathing]

A friend of mine got along well with her ex until a new girlfriend ( 15 years older) entered the picture. Then all hell broke lose. My friend's theory ( which proved to be true) was that the new girlfriend was casting her as the evil ex wife or common enemy. She felt the reason the girlfriend did this was because if they united against a common enemy then they could ignore the pathology in their relationship.
This woman interfered with access, made threats, everything. My friend asked for a restraining order against her which was ignored until this woman jumped up in court and tried to attack my friend. Voila, instant removal by court security as well as instant restraining order!
A few years later her ex left this woman and the child he fathered with her ( just like my friend predicted). This woman then contacted my friend , wanting to join forces against him. My friend told her to take a hike.

[piggybanktoex]

A friend of mine went to a court like thing before a judge.

One went alone, armed with the facts and commonsense. The other brought along the lover who argued with the judge.

Guess who came out better in the deal.......

Just saying in this particular case.

[+parenting]

Thank you for your replies. I was thrilled to hear that she didn't have to be there. I am lucky to have the facts on my side but the thing I have already lost due to her manipulation is my eldest son who lives with them.

There are two children of the marriage. My eldest is 22 and is bipolar, has tried to commit suicide twice and in the beginning use to call me at all hours of the night to talk him through a manic episode. One time he asked if I can go to my ex's home, which he shares with this woman, to hold him while he went through this. My heart breaks just thinking of this. I know I have no place in his home but I think serious circumstances such as this I would never deny my ex a couple of hours in my son's room.

Since then years have passed and the manipulation that both of them have done on him is just horrible. My son no longer talks to me. He's punched me once as a result of my ex showing him court documents. The day that I posted this thread he called the police and asked that I never email him or contact him.

This is no longer a case about winning but about an end so I can move on.