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Help! He claims to have called school so I don't take him out of school tomorrow

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  • Help! He claims to have called school so I don't take him out of school tomorrow

    We don't have a written agreement. Status quo for two years now/shared custody with week on week off. I am to get my son as of 3:45pm tomorrow for my week Friday to Friday. We are planning on driving 6hrs out of town for a family reunion. I want to leave early due to the long drive and will require to pick up my son early from school. X is saying he contacted school board and school and informed that he will not authorize this absence and that the school will call him as soon as I arrive.

    This is not true right? There is no court order in place. X is just trying to be difficult due to him being sensitive over the family reunion we are attending. Do I simply show up and cross my fingers there will be no scene at the school? We are both on the school authorization pick up list.

  • #2
    The school will not get involved. Even if they did happen to call him when you arrive, there is nothing else they can do, unless he shows up and makes a scene which would force them to call police. His authorization is not required, you are a parent as well.

    Show up, early if you need so you avoid a scene. Enjoy your weekend.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by momofonegreatboy View Post
      We don't have a written agreement. Status quo for two years now/shared custody with week on week off. I am to get my son as of 3:45pm tomorrow for my week Friday to Friday. We are planning on driving 6hrs out of town for a family reunion. I want to leave early due to the long drive and will require to pick up my son early from school. X is saying he contacted school board and school and informed that he will not authorize this absence and that the school will call him as soon as I arrive.

      This is not true right? There is no court order in place. X is just trying to be difficult due to him being sensitive over the family reunion we are attending. Do I simply show up and cross my fingers there will be no scene at the school? We are both on the school authorization pick up list.
      This sounds like nonsense to me. There is no such thing as a parent "refusing to authorize" the absence of a child. If you are both on the school pickup list, then either of you can pick up the child - that's the whole point of having a list. The school is not a party to any arrangements between the parents - they are not an instrument to be used in disputes between the parents, and your ex cannot tell the school what to do.

      Unless there's some criminal activity going on here, the school will not interfere with a legal guardian collecting his/her child. They really don't want to get involved in domestic disputes. If your ex shows up at the same time and makes a scene, the school will probably ask you to move your dispute off school premises.

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you. I thought this was just another bullying tactic. X claims I need to notify him first to get his approval should I take son out of school on his time. Is this correct? Our son is done school at 3:45pm tomorrow and I'm planning on picking him up around 11am. Do I really need to 'get approval' from X considering I am to have our son at 3:45pm for my week?

        Comment


        • #5
          Above is true. Don't worry.

          I just witnessed something similar but there "was" criminal activity on the part of the mother. All staff was informed last week that there was a "trespass order" against her. She couldn't even drop the boy off anymore.

          Doesn't sound like this is the case here. The school wants "no" part of this familial conflict trust me. Especially in the absence of any potential danger to the child.

          Comment


          • #6
            No you don't need his approval. Period.

            Comment


            • #7
              You don't need approval. I have even had a hard time getting the court order enforced with the school as my order says that mom may not remove child early from school, but she has still been able to without my approval as the school gets busy and they just don't keep track of those things.

              Unless there is a specific order to state that you can not then there is nothing he can do.

              Comment


              • #8
                He cannot stop you from taking the child out of school early. I wouldn't argue with him about it though, because if he's determined to interfere with your holiday, he may go to the length of not bringing the child to school at all that day.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Actually I disagree. Legally they have no right to stop you. But I've seen it happen without any just reason.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    So how did things turn out mom?

                    I have a wee bit of experience with this. The most the school can do without an order is let one parent know that the other parent has taken the child. They cannot withhold your child if you have custody.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Thank you

                      Thanks everyone. Despite my friends and family's advice that I was falling into X's trap, I did go to the school on Friday to pick up my son. An hour later, I did receive a phone call from X stating the school notified him and I did not get X's approval and authorization to do this as he has son till 5pm (this is status quo however, we do not have a written agreement nor a court order) when I stated this over the phone, he said was getting a court order.

                      Minutes later I received a text (of which I've pushed the ignore button) where X states he is getting court order, notifying police and CSA and filing for full custody. He said to 'enjoy the weekend as this would be the last time I'd see my son'. He said I should not be leaving town with 'HIS' son under any circumstances. When picking up our son at school that morning, he explained (sobbing) that his dad told him he didn't want to bring him to school early in fear I would pick him up. That broke my heart.

                      His texts were full of anger and I'm wondering if I can use them should I need to present my case (I am planning on self representing in showing that he is blinded by anger and cannot co-parent) once I'm fully prepared and ready). I don't mean to play the victim however, he did make me feel like I abducted our son when its the long weekend and I wanted to head on our trip earlier (6hr drive to visit my parents). I also had notified X or our plans weeks in advance. In a nut shell, I am to pick up our son as of 3:45pm (end of school of that Friday) and I went in the morning instead so we can get a head start on the long weekend. Will this be a no-no on me when he go to court?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Getting that "head start" will probably lead to a much more rigid pick-up/drop-off schedule so I hope it was worth it. What you did, in my opinion, was unilateral. Giving notice of intention of doing something isn't the same as receiving the other parent's consent to alter a previously agreed upon access schedule. Pretty shitty that the kid was put in the middle of the whole thing.

                        Do you think you were putting the kid's interests first?

                        In the future I'd stick to the schedule and remember there are 2 parents not just one.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Document. Text are not the greatest as they can be questioned. You may be able to obtain the original through your providor.

                          I would ignore him. No judge is going to want to here about this. It was family weekend and lots of children leave school early on the Friday before a school holiday to get ahead of the rush traffic.

                          He is likely to do the same to you next week out of spite. Your response is great have a good weekend. Hopefully its not something you both would do on a regular basis as from an educational point of view its not good to keep taking the child out of school. But many do, so not big deal.

                          Maybe time to get a signed Separation agreement. Mhow long have you been with this arrangment?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Best interest of child=seeing family it's a one off not like this is being done on a regular basis and Dad should be supporting it. If it was to happen all the time and he did not get makeup time then I can see his frustration but not to the point of what he is doing which is not in child’s best interest.

                            He was advised and if he wanted that time he could have taken the time off and spent it with son but he sent him to school. He could had countered by asking for time missed in return.

                            Did you offer him a day or time in return? I really don't think you did anything wrong.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by momofonegreatboy View Post
                              Thanks everyone. Despite my friends and family's advice that I was falling into X's trap, I did go to the school on Friday to pick up my son. An hour later, I did receive a phone call from X stating the school notified him and I did not get X's approval and authorization to do this as he has son till 5pm (this is status quo however, we do not have a written agreement nor a court order) when I stated this over the phone, he said was getting a court order.

                              Minutes later I received a text (of which I've pushed the ignore button) where X states he is getting court order, notifying police and CSA and filing for full custody. He said to 'enjoy the weekend as this would be the last time I'd see my son'. He said I should not be leaving town with 'HIS' son under any circumstances. When picking up our son at school that morning, he explained (sobbing) that his dad told him he didn't want to bring him to school early in fear I would pick him up. That broke my heart.

                              His texts were full of anger and I'm wondering if I can use them should I need to present my case (I am planning on self representing in showing that he is blinded by anger and cannot co-parent) once I'm fully prepared and ready). I don't mean to play the victim however, he did make me feel like I abducted our son when its the long weekend and I wanted to head on our trip earlier (6hr drive to visit my parents). I also had notified X or our plans weeks in advance. In a nut shell, I am to pick up our son as of 3:45pm (end of school of that Friday) and I went in the morning instead so we can get a head start on the long weekend. Will this be a no-no on me when he go to court?

                              Putting a child in the middle of parent's disagreement is not in the best interests of the child.

                              Comment

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