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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 02-17-2011, 03:49 AM
paris madani paris madani is offline
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Unhappy extra ordinary expenses - I am lost!

i have finally gotten a separation agreement in place a few months ago which cost me close to 10K and an entire year of back and forth at the lawyers office just like many others, I bet. I have full custody and my ex sees his son only once every 2 or 3 weeks. every time i ask my ex about any extra ordinary expenses, he disagrees. My son's 9th birthday is coming up and he doesn't want to contribute. Am I wrong to ask him? Dont such events fall under the extra ordinary expenses? Per the terms of the sep. agreement, i need his consent and if we dont agree, i can take it to court. Am i not going to end up paying even more than what i am asking for since I have to pay for court costs? He constantly says that he is paying more than he should. He doesnt help take care of my son during the summer, PA days or any other school holidays. Aside from the constant insulting remarks about how he is over paying me, I am always making arrangements alone and asking help from friends and family for my son's care. i only have 3 weeks vacation from work, which i use to take care of my son for part of his summer and christmas break. I dont know how to resolve this situation. I am totally drained as the separation process has been hell. what should i do? go to a small claims court on my own or do i absolutely need a lawyer for this process
Old 02-17-2011, 07:10 AM
frustrated11 frustrated11 is offline
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Birthday party is not a s.7 expense, it is part of regular child support. Daycare for before and after school care is as long os you are working full time or in school, he should be contributing his proportionate share
Old 02-17-2011, 02:08 PM
kelly kelly is offline
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Self represent...don't waste your time with a laywer..Save your money and use it towards your son.
Old 02-17-2011, 02:34 PM
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billm billm is offline
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I always think of 'special expenses', or 'extra ordinary expenses', aka Sect 7 expenses as 'things that people at that income level would not normally spend money on, but may decide to'.

Beyond that way of thinking medical/dental/post secondary are not part of CS.

So in this case, birthday gifts, birthday parities, are something that every one would do, and as such ARE covered by his CS.

Also in the same light, I consider house league hockey for example to be a normal expense and covered by CS, but rep league, or higher is not covered by CS, and as such the parent may deny chipping in.

Basically, with the exception of post secondary school, medical and dental, if he is paying CS, he does not have to agree to give you anything else. If the child has special needs, that may require him to pay more, but if the child is a normal child, CS is all he is required to pay.

If you come across an expense that would be considered extraordinary, and you can't afford to pay for it alone, and the father refuses to help pay, causing the child to not get to do something, the father may be a cheap bastard with screwed up priorities, but that is his right
Old 02-17-2011, 04:42 PM
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Epona Epona is offline
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Forget taking your ex to court for the costs of son's birthday party. I doubt that it would qualify as S.7 expense. Save yourself the stress and aggravation of court and organize the party with what you can afford.
Old 02-18-2011, 12:53 AM
paris madani paris madani is offline
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thank you to all of you for all your advise and helpful comments - I am so glad i joined this forum. Wow - feels like a family ... i added to all of your reputations
i was so excited to see the responses.
The truth is that it boils my blood to let him get away with everything. He gives me less than he should. he doesn't contribute towards any classes. My son used to always get what he wanted. I cant say no to him now. He goes on trips with his new family yet he does not want to contribute to his son's birthday party. It's a matter of principle - I don't want him to think that i am a weak woman that doesn't know anything. He makes good money & doesn't report it. We have been in the war zone for exactly one year now and i finally decided to stop and just agree with what ever is on the table and get on with my life
i want to ensure that i stay informed and know my rights.
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