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Warning signs of behaviours exhibited by child,alienating parent & rejected parent

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  • Warning signs of behaviours exhibited by child,alienating parent & rejected parent

    The following was taken from the following case law
    A good case for information on PAS.
    A.G.L. v. K. B. D., 2009 CanLII 943 (ON SC)

    [92] Pathological child alienation, then, can be summarized from the evidence as follows and
    as contained in Ex. 8B, p. 20 in the trial:
    TABLE 15
    PATHOLOGICAL ALIENATION:
    WARNING SIGNS OF BEHAVIOURS EXHIBITED BY CHILD,ALIENATING PARENT & REJECTED PARENT
    Child behaviours:
    - View of parents one-sided, all good or all bad; idealizes one parent and devalues the other
    - Vicious vilification of target parent; campaign of hatred
    - Trivial, false and irrational reasons to justify hatred
    - Reactions and perceptions unjustified or disproportionate to parent's behaviours
    - Talks openly to anyone about rejected parent's perceived shortcomings
    - Extends hatred to extended family and pets (hatred by association)
    - No guilt or ambivalence regarding malicious treatment, hatred, etc.
    - A stronger, but not necessarily healthy, psychological bond with alienating parent than with rejected parent
    - Anger at rejected parent for abandonment; blames him/her for divorce
    - Speech is brittle, a litany; obsessed; has an artificial quality; affect does not match words; no conviction; unchildlike, uses adult language; has a rehearsed quality
    - Stories are repetitive and lacking in detail and depth
    - Mimics what siblings report rather than own experience
    - Denial of hope for reconciliation; no acknowledgement of desire for reconciliation
    - Expresses worry for preferred parent, desire to care for that parent; or, defensive denial that child is indeed worried about parent

    Alienating Parent Behaviours:
    - Allows and insists that child makes decisions about contact
    - Rarely talks about the other parent; uninterested in child's time
    with other parent after contact; gives a cold shoulder, silent
    treatment, or is moody after child's return from visit
    - No photos of target parent; removes reminders of the other parent
    - Refusal to hear positive comments about rejected parent; quick to
    discount good times as trivial and unimportant
    - No encouragement of calls to other parent between visits;
    rationalizes that child does not ask
    - Tells child fun things that were missed during visit with other
    parent
    - Indulges child with material possessions and privileges
    - Sets few limits or is rigid about routines, rules and expectations
    - Refuses to speak directly to parent; refuses to be in same room or
    close proximity;
    - Does not let target parent come to door to pick up child
    - No concern for missed visits with other parent
    - Makes statements and then denies what was said
    - Body language and nonverbal communication reveals lack of
    interest, disdain and disapproval
    - Engages in inquisition of child after visits
    - Rejected parent is discouraged or refused permission to attend
    school events and activities
    - Telephone messages, gifts and mail from other parent to child are
    destroyed, ignored or passed on to the child with disdain
    - Distorts any comments of child that might justify accusations
    - Doesn't believe that child has any need for relationship with other
    parent
    - When child calls and is quiet or non-communicative, parent
    wrongly assumes pressure from target parent, or that child is not
    comfortable with target parent; evidence of bad parenting; does
    not appreciate that child is uncomfortable talking to alienating
    parent about target parent
    - Portrays other parent as dangerous, may inconsistently act fearful
    of other parent in front of child
    - Exaggerates negative attributes of other parent, and omits
    anything positive
    - Delusional false statements repeated to child; distorts history and
    other parent's participation in the child's life; claims other parent
    has totally changed since separation
    - Projection of own thoughts, feelings and behaviours onto the
    other parent
    - Does not correct child's rude, defiant and/or omnipotent
    behaviour directed towards the other parent, but would never
    permit child to do this with others
    - Convinced of harm, when there is no evidence
    - False or fabricated allegations of sexual, physical and/or
    emotional abuse
    - Denigrates and exaggerates flaws of rejected parent to child says
    other parent left "us," divorced "us" and doesn't love ''us''
    - Over-involves child in adult matters and litigation
    - Child required to keep secrets and spy or report back on other
    parent
    - Child required to be messenger
    - Overt and covert threats to withdraw love and affection from
    child unless other parent is rejected
    - Extreme lack of courtesy to rejected parent
    - Relocation for minor reasons and with little concern for effects on child.

    Parental Behaviours that Make Rejection or Alienation More
    Likely:
    - Harsh, rigid and punitive parenting style
    - Outrage at child's challenge to his/her authority
    - Passivity or withdrawal in face of conflict
    - Immature, self-centred in relation to child
    - Loses temper, angry, demanding, intimidating character traits, but
    not to level of abuse
    - Counter-rejecting behaviour
    - Lacks empathic connection to child
    - Inept and unempathic pursuit of child, pushes calls and letters,
    unannounced or embarrassing visits
    - Challenges child's beliefs and/or attitudes and tries to convince
    them otherwise
    - Dismissive of child's feelings and negative attitudes
    - Induces guilt
    - May use force to reassert parental position
    - Vents rage, blames alienating parent for brainwashing child and takes no responsibility
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