Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Moving on....Final Minutes of Settlement (for now)

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Quick question ..

    My g/f is able to bring D4 to school in the morning, allowing D4 to sleep in a bit more. (Instead of dropping early at ex's)

    When I asked D4 she got really excited that new g/f (they have great relationship) gets to see her new school. New g/f is also an emergency contact with the school (ex agreed to it).

    I'm about to text my ex and (ask?..or let her know?)

    New to this .... would this be normal?

    EDP's starting on the 15th.

    Thanks

    Comment


    • Have you and Mom already agreed that you would drop off Kid at Mom's place on your days so Mom could take her to school? If so, a note thanking Mom for her offer but saying you've made other arrangements would be polite.

      Have you not yet come to an agreement about dropping Kid off? If so, nothing needs to happen. You've found an arrangement that will work.

      The thing I would not do is bring your girlfriend's name into it, because historically Mom and Girlfriend have not gotten along.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
        Quick question ..

        My g/f is able to bring D4 to school in the morning, allowing D4 to sleep in a bit more. (Instead of dropping early at ex's)

        When I asked D4 she got really excited that new g/f (they have great relationship) gets to see her new school. New g/f is also an emergency contact with the school (ex agreed to it).

        I'm about to text my ex and (ask?..or let her know?)

        New to this .... would this be normal?

        EDP's starting on the 15th.

        Thanks
        first off you shouldn't of said anything to your daughter till you worked it out with the ex.

        If you already made the agreement for this week with your ex to drop the child off at her place then you should live up to it. If there is an agreement in place already then what you have done is set your ex up to look like the bad person if she says no.

        Of course if there is no agreement then a quick text to your ex letting her know what is going on is the way to go. That way she isn't worried about where the child is.

        Comment


        • G/f and ex have an outstanding relationship Stripes. Not sure why you would say they haven't historically.

          We did make a little informal agreement about me dropping D4 off early and ex bringing to school. But it is my parenting time right? And I am following the order to a tee.

          Of course I talked to D4 first to see if she was comfortable with that SOTS. My ex really can't say no ... so she won't be a "bad guy" .. lol. (Even if I did ask and she said no....I'm smart enough not to say "sorry. ..mommy said no". Im not special needs.

          I don't feel like I need to "ask" her permission to follow the order....but I will run it by her without using g/f ' s name as Stripes suggested. I think it's silly to even postulate that I wouldn't let my ex know ....of course she'll know where D4 is. Funny stuff.
          Last edited by LovingFather32; 02-07-2016, 07:43 PM.

          Comment


          • Your time, your decision to make. Unless you need your Ex to help you get your daughter to school, then there is no requirement to involve her in this.

            You know best right now how your ex is behaving. If she can handle information like this without it becoming contentious then you can give her a courtesy text telling her what your doing, no requirement to ask, this isn't a major life changing decision like a change of religion or medical procedure.

            If you currently have her involved in the dropoff like others are assuming, then just let her know your arrangements have changed and you won't require her assistance.

            If minor things like this are going to be hashed over with her, you will spend almost as much time thinking about her, anticipating her reactions, and talking to her, as you do your girlfriend. Personally I prefer thinking about my girlfriend far more than I do my ex 😜

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Soiled View Post
              Your time, your decision to make. Unless you need your Ex to help you get your daughter to school, then there is no requirement to involve her in this.

              You know best right now how your ex is behaving. If she can handle information like this without it becoming contentious then you can give her a courtesy text telling her what your doing, no requirement to ask, this isn't a major life changing decision like a change of religion or medical procedure.

              If you currently have her involved in the dropoff like others are assuming, then just let her know your arrangements have changed and you won't require her assistance.

              If minor things like this are going to be hashed over with her, you will spend almost as much time thinking about her, anticipating her reactions, and talking to her, as you do your girlfriend. Personally I prefer thinking about my girlfriend far more than I do my ex ��
              Soiled .. I like the way you articulate your posts. I learn from them .. thank you.

              I simply sent a text to ex stating that tomorrow's drop was taken care of ... and received a civil one back.

              After what I've been through I just wanted to run it by all you fine ODfers to make sure right moves were being made.

              Totally a non issue. Just the way I like it.
              Last edited by LovingFather32; 02-07-2016, 08:41 PM.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                I'm smart enough not to say "sorry. ..mommy said no". Im not special needs.
                Wtf is wrong with you??

                Are you really an EA?? With education in psychology??

                I try so hard to stay away from your posts but to say that you are not stupid and "not special needs" with derision is unprofessional and lacking in empathy. How degrading to those who are or who have loved ones with stupid, special needs.

                Shameful.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by SadAndTired View Post
                  Wtf is wrong with you??



                  Are you really an EA?? With education in psychology??



                  I try so hard to stay away from your posts but to say that you are not stupid and "not special needs" with derision is unprofessional and lacking in empathy. How degrading to those who are or who have loved ones with stupid, special needs.



                  Shameful.

                  Get over yourself. If you dont want to read like you say, DONT READ THEM.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                    Get over yourself. If you dont want to read like you say, DONT READ THEM.
                    I didn't say I don't want to read them. I try not to comment on them. But his comment above is ridiculous.

                    Do you have your own children, rockscan? Would you like your child's EA to use that as an example of him not being stupid? That he isn't "special needs"? Unbelievable really.

                    Sorry but his comment and tone imply that being special needs is something less than and not smart.

                    Now he'll go on and on about his professional relationship with special needs children for years and years. As if….

                    Please if anyone else agrees with rockscan, chime in. I don't mind being in the minority. If he was to make that terrible comment in the classroom he would be reprimanded.
                    Last edited by SadAndTired; 02-07-2016, 11:40 PM.

                    Comment


                    • Sad and Tired, your post is completely off topic, and irrelevant to the discussion. If you don't like the language used by him, kindly do what you say you want to do, and don't read his threads. There is zero desire by anyone other than yourself, (well perhaps one or two other people) to see this or other threads derailed by your personal vendetta against LF.

                      Comment


                      • Moving on....Final Minutes of Settlement (for now)

                        I actually have two special needs family members and a sibling who has spent 15 years working with different abled individuals. His comment was not meant in that way and he probably would have said "im not an idiot" but may have been worried you and others like you would have jumped on it.

                        You said you try not to read his posts. Kindly go right to DONT read his posts and we wont have to worry about how offended you are.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by OntarioDaddy View Post
                          This is just LF's usual attention seeking dramatics.

                          Similar to telling ex no to morning drop offs, she calls him silly, he says no again, then accepts an informal agreement to do drop offs, only to go back on his agreement right away.
                          Sure enough one of the "One or two others" shows up with an attack, and yet another irrelevant post that provides absolutely no input of value.

                          The mods here really need to step up and actually focus on keeping people on topic, its gotten out of hand. Whether they agree with the offenders or not, it reflects poorly on the forum to have endless bickering and sniping like this.
                          Last edited by Soiled; 02-08-2016, 12:09 AM. Reason: Inner Grammar Nazi

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Soiled View Post
                            Sure enough one of the "One or two others" shows up with an attack, and yet another irrelevant post that provides absolutely no input of value.

                            The mods here really need to step up and actually focus on keeping people on topic, its gotten out of hand. Whether they agree with the offenders or not, it reflects poorly on the forum to have endless bickering and sniping like this.
                            ^^^^ Oh the irony and hypocrisy.

                            I make one post which spawns five more "irrelevant" posts. Please feel free to ignore me.

                            Again, I have never said I am trying not to read LF's posts. I try not to comment on them. You don't seem to have a problem creating multiple irrelevant posts, Soiled. Try to stay on topic, would you?

                            Comment


                            • Seen it happen again and again over the time I've followed these threads, figured I would attempt to stop it in its tracks since the tread was derailed already, yet again, by the pair of you.

                              It's an obvious vendetta, carried out in a childish manner, and never with anything new brought to the table. It's ridiculous that it's been allowed to carry on for as long as it has.

                              You are right however, I am off topic as well. Sadly sometimes you have to sink to the level of a child to show them what they are doing is wrong. I apologize for furthering the idiocy happening here.

                              If you go make a thread dedicated to bashing all the forum members you have an issue with, I would be happy to mock you there.

                              Comment


                              • Yoga breaths, everyone! Find your calm centres ...

                                I think it was poor word choice on LF's part, but not the end of the world. I have a sibling with major cognitive challenges and one of Kid's oldest and best friends has Down syndrome. If I heard someone use the phrase "special needs" in a derogatory way in real life, I'd explain why I don't like to hear it used that way, and then let it go. It doesn't necessarily mean that the person who used it is a terrible person, it just means they didn't think before they spoke, which I assume is what happened here.

                                Comment

                                Our Divorce Forums
                                Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                                Working...
                                X