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Please Advise, re: Passport and Travel with 15 y/o child

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  • Please Advise, re: Passport and Travel with 15 y/o child

    I will aim to keep this brief. Custody/access order (from 2009) says I shall inform father of any travel, get notarized letter etc.

    S15 has not seen or heard from "Dad" in a year. Dad cut off all contact (I have the venomous emails and text msgs, both to me and to S15).

    The ex and I do not speak and haven't for 6 years. Have only seen him when we were in Court. Prior to a year ago, father saw son every 2nd wknd but was canceling a lot as well. Son canceled at times, too.

    Do I really have to get his "permission/consent" to travel with my son ie: to the States, for a week? Ideally I'd like to get this clause struck, but given they don't see one another (and it's not looking like they will any time soon) - can I just apply for renewal of S15's passport myself and travel w/him, without being harassed by Customs? Unfortunately, son's surname is not the same as mine.

    Thanks for any thoughts/advice.

  • #2
    Are you flying or driving?

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    • #3
      If/when I go - Flying. Definitely flying.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by hadenough View Post
        Do I really have to get his "permission/consent" to travel with my son ie: to the States, for a week? Ideally I'd like to get this clause struck, but given they don't see one another (and it's not looking like they will any time soon) - can I just apply for renewal of S15's passport myself and travel w/him, without being harassed by Customs? Unfortunately, son's surname is not the same as mine.

        Thanks for any thoughts/advice.
        Technically, I believe you do need to have written consent (preferably notarized) by the other parent. My S was 10 when X and I separated. For the first number of trips after that, I had a Travel Consent letter signed and notarized (you can find a sample on the Canada Customs website) by his father.

        After a few trips, I only had the letter signed and didn't bother with having it notarized. After a few more, I stopped getting the letter at all and just carried a copy of the SA. My SA does not specify a consent letter to travel out of country, though.

        In the last 5 years (my son is now 15), we have traveled to Mexico 3 times and to the United States a number of times (probably a couple dozen or more), most recently in March for one week. The trips to the States are usually just weekend trips, usually for hockey. NO ONE HAS EVER ASKED FOR THE TRAVEL CONSENT LETTER OR A COPY OF THE SEPARATION AGREEMENT. Ever. We do not have the same last name either. Some trips we drove, some we flew. It didnt make any difference.

        X was always aware of our trips, however.

        So, it is advised by the government that you have one as you can be denied entry into the other country. If you choose to travel without one, you do so at your own risk and own expense.

        I believe you can also ask for a judge to provide consent if the other parent is refusing to consent without a good reason... Or maybe if contact with the other parent has been lost....?

        My s15 and I both are both Nexus Card carriers now, too. We crossed the border once with these, with no issue.

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        • #5
          Thank you and good to know all that. So how exactly does the Nexus card work? Its for driving across the border, right? And presumably there's an application process - what does that entail?

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          • #6
            Hoping McDreamy, Tayken, PH, HammerDad and Orleans lawyer can weigh in on this thread

            I am going for a variation of the Support order soon and a re-calculation of SS. Perhaps at that time, I can get the "consent" thing waived. (?)

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            • #7
              Here is the Govt of Canada info and link to a sample letter and form letter:

              Consent Letter for Children Travelling Abroad - Travel.gc.ca

              Here is Nexus info. The Nexus cards make crossing the border, by air, car, or boat, easier and faster. You have to fill out an application, wait for approval, provide finger prints, and be interviewed to be given final approval. You can use the Nexus card in place of a passport when traveling between the States and Canada. I even use mine when flying within Canada, as they are accepted at Canadian airports as identification as well. Bottom line - You get to skip to the short line when traveling - that's why I got ours.

              NEXUS Program Description - CBP.gov

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              • #8
                Great info. Thanks so much.

                IMO "Dad" has abandoned access and abandoned the child. I have written proof of this. I hope I would not have much difficulty getting the entire clause waived in a motion. It's glaringly obvious he couldn't care less about his relationship w/S15 and I am certain he doesn't give a hoot about where we go.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                  Custody/access order (from 2009) says I shall inform father of any travel, get notarized letter etc.
                  So I guess you need his consent? Because INFORMING and Consent are two different things. When my ex took me to court to strike the need for consent from me, her explanation was that I have abandoned the child...blah, blah, blah, while I was the one with proof that it is my D who terminated our relationship.

                  But since we were in no contact for over a year, I asked the Judge for an order that my ex is to at least keep me Informed of the trips 30 days before the trip date. That was granted to me (ex is to email me the details of the trips, but she does not need my consent). As far as passport goes, you could ask in court for him to sign it right there, and the next time you will need passport, your son will be an adult and will not require parents' signatures (I signed the application in court that way).

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                  • #10
                    Thx JB. I'm sorry that your D terminated the relationship. Perhaps in the future, she may reconsider. Thank you for the tips and sharing your personal experience.

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                    • #11
                      I do know people who've been stopped at the border traveling with a child with a different surname (and in one case actually detained until a faxed letter from the other parent could be obtained) - however, these were all cases involving much younger children. Your son may be old enough that he doesn't seem "kidnappable", and in a couple of years it won't matter anyway as he'll be an adult. I think the suggestion to carry a copy of your separation agreement, with your name, the child's name, and the statement that you have custody is a good one.

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                      • #12
                        Actually in a couple of months, not years. Once he's 16 he can get his own passport.

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                        • #13
                          Hi Hadenough:

                          My kids both have nexus passes which I use to cross the border. So far, I haven't had any issues doing so...but our last names are all the same. I also haven't flown anywhere since the divorce started...so I haven't had that experience.

                          One think I'm doing now is to get the standard travel letter done so that I can get it signed for our next court appearance this coming Friday. Two things I've learned from this forum is that sometimes its hard to go back and get stuff done after the SA is signed...so its better to do everything during the signing process.

                          I know you don't want to involve your lawyer but it might need to happen in this case, as its unlikely he's going to cooperate. You may have to compel him to supply a travel authorization. The good news is that if you have to force him to a motion, he'll pick up costs for being a douche...the bad thing is that he's already in arrears so it will be another unpaid legal bill for you/your lawyer.

                          If you have sole custody...you can also get his name changed legally. If you don't have sole custody, you should be eligible for it now.

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                          • #14
                            Once you have a passport for the children do you need the ex's permission to get the Nexxus card?

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                            • #15
                              CSAngel:

                              I didn't...I took care of the passes myself without his input. In fact, the question of separation/divorce was never asked and was not on the form...nor did I mention it.

                              They may have additional information on their website, however:

                              Travel often? Apply for NEXUS - Official Web site

                              You can just apply online.

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