Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Communication with new wife

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
    mom just wants to communicate what needs to be with Dad and not have the drama dealing with the new wife.
    Mom doesn't get to choose Dad's partners.

    I'm not totally convinced that Mom can chose the email address from which she sends/receives communication concerning the children. If the father explicitly says, in writing, "please send all email to newbitchathome@gmail.com", then go ahead and send all email to newbitchathome@gmail.com. Why not? Father has made that parenting choice.

    Similarly for receiving messages. If father says, in writing, that he will be sending messages from newbitchathome@gmail.com, then that is his choice.

    Now, if Dad says "You have to communicate with my new wife", then it is reasonable to respond "unfortunately, she was not a party to our separation agreement and has no custody rights or obligations with regard to our children. I can only discuss the children with you directly. Which address will you personally be sending and receiving email? Would you prefer to use our family wizard?"

    If he gives newbitchathome@gmail.com, then so be it. If he repeats that his new wife will be handling it, repeat previous paragraph.

    "As I said in my email of December 3rd, 2018: unfortunately, she was not a party to our separation agreement and has no custody rights or obligations with regard to our children. I can only discuss the children with you directly. Which address will you personally be sending and receiving email? Would you prefer to use our family wizard?"

    ...and when new wife responds...

    "As I said in my email of December 3rd, 2018: unfortunately, Bertha was not a party to our separation agreement and has no custody rights or obligations with regard to our children. I can only discuss the children with you directly. Which address will you personally be sending and receiving email? Would you prefer to use our family wizard?"

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by rockscan View Post
      Like I said, this woman is simply pissed about her husbands behaviour and is jealous and acting inappropriately. The only thing mom can do is ignore it. Eventually this woman will find a new victim. What if your friend agreed to them keeping the kids to Monday morning and dropping them at school?

      The peace bond would prevent the wife from being on moms property which means dad would be forced to drop them off or she would have to let them out and not go to the door.

      How old are the kids?


      She did offer for them to keep the kids overnight Sunday nights of their weekend and drop off at daycare where she would pick up after work, it was denied because it doesn’t work for them apparently. She instead EOW she has to see them face to face... kids are 6 and 3... mom lives in condos and the parking lot isn’t right at her door so the kids need to walk, Dad owns a house and mom will get the kids out of the car and allow them to walk to the door but as soon as mom pulls in the driveway wife is there with the door open yelling stuff at mom. I totally agree its a jealousy thing, wife has also cut off communication with mutual friends that dad was sending messages to so it’s not just Mom... unfortunately Mom has no choice but to be tied to dad because of the children.


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by Janus View Post
        Mom doesn't get to choose Dad's partners.



        I'm not totally convinced that Mom can chose the email address from which she sends/receives communication concerning the children. If the father explicitly says, in writing, "please send all email to newbitchathome@gmail.com", then go ahead and send all email to newbitchathome@gmail.com. Why not? Father has made that parenting choice.



        Similarly for receiving messages. If father says, in writing, that he will be sending messages from newbitchathome@gmail.com, then that is his choice.



        Now, if Dad says "You have to communicate with my new wife", then it is reasonable to respond "unfortunately, she was not a party to our separation agreement and has no custody rights or obligations with regard to our children. I can only discuss the children with you directly. Which address will you personally be sending and receiving email? Would you prefer to use our family wizard?"



        If he gives newbitchathome@gmail.com, then so be it. If he repeats that his new wife will be handling it, repeat previous paragraph.



        "As I said in my email of December 3rd, 2018: unfortunately, she was not a party to our separation agreement and has no custody rights or obligations with regard to our children. I can only discuss the children with you directly. Which address will you personally be sending and receiving email? Would you prefer to use our family wizard?"



        ...and when new wife responds...



        "As I said in my email of December 3rd, 2018: unfortunately, Bertha was not a party to our separation agreement and has no custody rights or obligations with regard to our children. I can only discuss the children with you directly. Which address will you personally be sending and receiving email? Would you prefer to use our family wizard?"


        Dad never requested this... wife sent mom an email stating all communication is to go through her going forward. Mom continues to send emails to Dads email and then wife responds from her email. I agree if Dad communicates this she would have to use said email but Dad hasn’t said anything to her, all emails are signed by new wife.

        Yesterday the youngest didn’t want to go to Dads and said that dad and wife have been fighting so much lately. Of course not going wasn’t an option and mom dropped the kids off but not without the kicking and screaming and wife yelling from the front door...


        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
          Dad never requested this... wife sent mom an email stating all communication is to go through her going forward.
          Well, mom can safely ignore wife. I would send one courtesy response to let them know that until instructed otherwise in writing, she will ignore and block every message sent from any email other than Dad's email.

          I would then proceed to completely and utterly ignore every message that did not come from Dad. Every. Single. Message.

          Yesterday the youngest didn’t want to go to Dads and said that dad and wife have been fighting so much lately. Of course not going wasn’t an option and mom dropped the kids off but not without the kicking and screaming and wife yelling from the front door...
          I'm a big fan of having exchanges somewhere other than the other parent's house. It stops much of the above nonsense.

          Comment


          • #20
            Communication with new wife

            Omg this is my life!!! Crazy. I am dealing with dad’s new wife (well not wife yet) this is exactly what I go through. Except my ex’s partner just made a joint email.. and still Denies it’s her composing. Lawyer said nothing I can do. Except keep addressing dad.


            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

            Comment


            • #21
              Email dad. Period. Respond only to emails from dad. Should there be no response from dad then assume there is no response to be had and he is forfeiting his opportunity for inout on whatever the decision is.

              Block the wife, respond to nothing from the wife. If he tells you she will be the one communicating, send the paragraph Janus wrote above and tell him you will not be sending or responding to emails with her, only him. And then do exactly that.

              If he complains you didn't XYZ that she emailed about, simply inform him you never got a response from him on it.

              I didn't read the entire thread so not sure if it was asked/answered whether communication was outlined in the agreement, if it is and he wishes to change it, he can do so through the proper channels.

              Comment


              • #22
                I cannot imagine communicating with my partner’s ex. I didn’t even like reading her emails to him or hearing her screaming at him on the phone. These women are control freaks who are jealous and can’t handle that their spouses have another woman they are attached to.

                Remember that as awful as they are to you, they treat your ex as poorly. Be grateful you aren’t married to these spineless weasels anymore!

                Comment


                • #23
                  I went through a total nightmare with my ex's g/f when we first separated. What seemed to help was when I specified that my ex had to FAX me, IN HIS HANDWRITING, any messages. This way his g/f couldn't screw with things. Worked like a charm and we did this right up to divorce.

                  This also serves to slow down the communication which is a good thing. People tend to take a little bit more care when they have to put pen and paper to things.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Love,love, love Arabian’s solution! I was once involved with a psycho bitc...from hell who attached herself to my first ex by her female reproductive parts. She was 14 years older than him. She was his sugar momma. Raving, lunatic nutbar.

                    I figured she focused on me so that they would have something in common and keep his attention diverted from the pathology in their own relationship.

                    I begged and pleaded with the judge for a restraining order against her and was ignored until the day she physically attacked me from behind in open court. Got every order I wanted after that.
                    Several weeks later she was arrested for being present at the police station for pick up and drop off of child. The detective later told me it was extremely serious that a third party had a restraining order against them in another couple’s family court order. My ex and I did not have restraining orders against each other. We were civilized. Then the detective thanked me for handing her to him on a golden platter. Turns out in past conflicts with her own ex she had reported the entire police department. This detective was thrilled I had given him the ammunition to go arrest and charge her. Karma does have a sense of humour.

                    If I were you I’d follow Arabian’s advice. Dad faxes a hand written message. Love it! Mom might also want to send a stand in friend or relative to pick up and drop off. That way she avoids the insecure new partner and does not subject herself to verbal abuse. If that is not possible, go to court and get the same kind of order I got. The new wife is not allowed to be present at pick up or drop off. Make sure to sit infront of her in court so that if she attacks you the judge has a good view.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      ... my son tells me that nowadays nobody uses faxes but instead take photos and email or text. Okay my age is showing. I still liked the fax cause I knew it was a hassle for them (they had to buy a fax machine).

                      Whichever way you send and receive, you want the information handwriting.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by arabian View Post
                        ... my son tells me that nowadays nobody uses faxes but instead take photos and email or text. Okay my age is showing. I still liked the fax cause I knew it was a hassle for them (they had to buy a fax machine).

                        You've mentioned this story before. The part I don't get is why he agreed to it. If my ex demanded that I put things in handwriting, I would deliberately go out of my way to make sure that every communication was electronic.


                        That said, my ex has the right to designate her "official" email address for receiving messages. If it happens to be her husband's email address, what do I care? It does not matter to me who sends or receives from that address, as long as my ex is responsible for the content.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          My ex and I were business partners for several decades. At the time of our separation I needed to send and receive information regarding our business. His girlfriend wasn't knowledgeable about our businesses operation. She tried to sabotage things and create more animosity between the two of us as she was understandably threatened that the two of us might get back together. My ex was aware of her shenanigans and likely why he agreed to fax communication. To this day his g/f communicates using his email address and ex is not aware of emails sent to me.

                          Meddling, by parties not named in the legal action, can create havoc. It can be by significant other or relatives and even adult children.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            The reality everyone on this thread needs to realize is that the father in this matter can delegate his parental responsibilities to a third party. You do this when you send your kids to school, daycare, grandmas etc... The reality check is that the new person in this mix can simply email directly from the father's email account and you wouldn't know.

                            If the communication is rational, reasonable and helpful who cares who writes the email? (I haven't read the whole thread.)

                            It is always good when more people are helping raise children as long as they are not a danger (as defined by the CAS) to help out with parenting.

                            It takes a village and most villages have a few idiots.

                            Comment

                            Our Divorce Forums
                            Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                            Working...
                            X