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  • Sperm Donor and CS

    Judge rules Kan. sperm donor owes child support

    I found this pretty outrageous. You have to wonder about a couple that go to these lengths to have a kid and then files for public assistance....unless they fell on some kind of financial hardship due to job losses.

  • #2
    So hopefully he will ask for a 50/50 parenting agreement and become part of this child's life. Looks like the child might need it.

    Comment


    • #3
      So if a single mother puts her baby up for adoption (a common occurance up until the 60s or so) and the adoptive parents go on assistance, do they go after the bio mother for support?

      Comment


      • #4
        FYI there are sperm banks but no egg banks. So male fertility issues can be overcome but you have to find your own egg donor which is difficult if it is a female fertility issue.

        I went through IVF and wanted to donate our embryos that we did not use to another deserving couple or individual. We could not because of cases like these. All donations were on hold pending a few supreme court cases.

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        • #5
          To be fair, it isn't the mother that's after the child support - it's the state that's after it.

          Due dilligence. The donor should have verified the laws of the state before agreeing to the contract. He could have protected himself better.

          I wonder if he gave up whatever financial compensation he received for having donated the sperm in the first place? I have a hard time believing that someone would be so quick to respond to a Craigslist ad and donate your DNA to strangers out of the kindness of his heart.

          Comment


          • #6
            In Canada it is illegal to pay for gametes - so no financial compensation is allowed.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Serene View Post
              In Canada it is illegal to pay for gametes - so no financial compensation is allowed.
              I have to wonder about the man's motivations. He responded to a Craigslist ad for sperm donation. Yeah, seems above board and legit to me ?!?!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Serene View Post
                I went through IVF and wanted to donate our embryos that we did not use to another deserving couple or individual. We could not because of cases like these. All donations were on hold pending a few supreme court cases.
                I have been involved in anonymous/private embryo donations, and they are still ongoing here in Ontario.

                PH - I wonder if it has to do with the manner of insemination? It would appear they didn't use a licensed physician, with a clinic, hence he doesn't qualify as a "donor". Why would someone do this and not remain anonymous?

                Mess - I think if the biomother uses an adoption agency, she's off the hook. But even that might change, aren't the adoption laws in the midst of being changed as well? No privacy for the bio parent?
                Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                Comment


                • #9
                  So if a single mother puts her baby up for adoption (a common occurance up until the 60s or so) and the adoptive parents go on assistance, do they go after the bio mother for support?
                  Its a very valid point but I think the difference is that the contract that is signed by women giving their kids up for adoption that waives their parental rights is a state form. In this case, the guy didn't sign a proper contract which is why he was able to be held liable. If he had signed the proper documents, the state wouldn't have been able to go after him.

                  By the way, the reason that adoption was more common up until the 60s is because a lot of pregnant girls were coerced/forced into group homes which then pressured them into adoptions. Abortion wasn't a viable option at the time for most unless you could leave the country to get one.

                  They would disappear for a the time to have the baby (excuses would be made...i.e. visiting a foreign relative, etc) and the baby would be adopted and the girl would come back home.

                  Very recently the Australian government had to apologize to a generation of women that were put into these types of group homes during from the 50s-70s and literally had their babies adopted by force. Even when the mother wanted to keep the children, they were removed and the records for the adoption were sealed.

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                  • #10
                    So, sperm donor is liable for child support BUT a dad who undergoes invitro fertilization with his partner (and hence is 'technically' a sperm donor) DOES NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO PARENT?

                    Actor Jason Patric is fighting to gain access with his son ... apparently the 'intent to parent' forms he signed didn't use quite the right words.

                    Sick.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Serene View Post
                      In Canada it is illegal to pay for gametes - so no financial compensation is allowed.

                      Serene - it's pretty obvious this whole insemination was kept "off the books". They likely didn't want to pay the medical fees involved in doing it the legal way, so they found a cheap way to get the job done.

                      The donor was literally giving up part of himself and he didnt' think to have a contract checked by a lawyer? Yeah, this is the consquence of that. Unfortunate maybe. Preventable? Entirely.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
                        So, sperm donor is liable for child support BUT a dad who undergoes invitro fertilization with his partner (and hence is 'technically' a sperm donor) DOES NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO PARENT?

                        Actor Jason Patric is fighting to gain access with his son ... apparently the 'intent to parent' forms he signed didn't use quite the right words.

                        Sick.
                        No doubt the laws surrounding IVF need to change - should a surrogate be used, should a sperm donor be used, etc. -- often times following birth a formal adoption still needs to be completed in order to effectively confirm legal guardianship/parental authority of the child. It's crazy.
                        Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
                          Mess - I think if the biomother uses an adoption agency, she's off the hook. But even that might change, aren't the adoption laws in the midst of being changed as well? No privacy for the bio parent?
                          I'm not fully conversant in ongoing changes, but to be frank, I don't always agree with the government.

                          IMHO, a donation of sperm or egg is equivalent to an adoption. The end result should be an individual/family that is independant of the donor.

                          I cannot see a discrimination where one is obligated and the other is not.

                          This needs to be clearly established in legislation because common law is mixed.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            IMHO, a donation of sperm or egg is equivalent to an adoption. The end result should be an individual/family that is independant of the donor.
                            I agree. The bottom line is what was the intent here? The guy and this couple clearly skirted the system and signed the wrong forms but there's no doubt that he was making a donation and thought that's all he was doing at the time.

                            What's interesting is that the mother tried to lie and suggest she didn't know who the donor was. I don't think she was too keen on the state suing this guy for CS either.

                            No doubt the laws surrounding IVF need to change - should a surrogate be used, should a sperm donor be used, etc. -- often times following birth a formal adoption still needs to be completed in order to effectively confirm legal guardianship/parental authority of the child. It's crazy.
                            Its even worse in the U.S. because the laws vary from state to state. I can never understand how Americans can keep up with the scale of that much variation. I'm glad Canada has less provinces than the U.S. has states...makes things a bit easier.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
                              I agree. The bottom line is what was the intent here? The guy and this couple clearly skirted the system and signed the wrong forms but there's no doubt that he was making a donation and thought that's all he was doing at the time.

                              What's interesting is that the mother tried to lie and suggest she didn't know who the donor was. I don't think she was too keen on the state suing this guy for CS either.



                              Its even worse in the U.S. because the laws vary from state to state. I can never understand how Americans can keep up with the scale of that much variation. I'm glad Canada has less provinces than the U.S. has states...makes things a bit easier.
                              It's only a donation if it was truly "donated". I still can't believe that some arbitrary person would hand over enough sperm to populate a small village and not do their due diligence (if his motive was truly altruistic). There had to have been a monetary reason behind it. He was motivated by something.

                              It's like signing your separation agreement without ILA.

                              Comment

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