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  • Lawyers Communication

    I am really frustrated.

    I have communicated to my lawyer both by e-mails and phone conversations that I need a document from my ex. A schedule that was not provided during arbitration, but I now need so that it is included in the court order.

    My lawyer keeps asking for the wrong document. He is repeatedly asking for schedule "A" that was included by the arbitrator. I don't want schedule "A".

    The opposing counsel and my ex. are also frustrated as to why I keep asking for, and they have provided, the same schedule over and over again.

    Opposing counsel has now asked the arbitrator to step back into the process and mediate.

    What do I write to my lawyer? How do I word an e-mail that tells my lawyer to get his s**t together and that I will not pay for the e-mails he has sent and keeps sending, as well as the e-mail that he will have to send opposing counsel to straighten this out?

  • #2
    I'd send an email to your ex's lawyer and cc a copy to your lawyer. I'd apologize for your lawyer's oversight in the matter and clarify the document you are requesting.

    I don't think you have to make too big of a deal out of it - just watch for your next statement from the lawyer and if you have the opportunity you can politely email or ask him to indicate the credit for his errors.

    Comment


    • #3
      You may get your hands slapped for communicating directlly with your ex's lawyer. My understanding from my lawyer is communication between lawyers is just that. You may want to check it out with others.

      Comment


      • #4
        ^agree, however, sometimes a person has to do these sorts of things to get the point across....

        My ex has communicated directly with my lawyer. My lawyer doesn't respond but rather forwards info on to me. Not a big deal. It's more of a conduct for professional standards thing.

        In this case the lawyer is clearly incompetent. I would take matters into my own hands if it was important enough to warrant it.

        Comment


        • #5
          This is ringing my church bells upstairs!! I actually felt my chest crushing in as I read this thread..... took a break and here I am. I will pose a question that has to do with excactly what is happening to Frustratedwithex (hello by the way!!) but take it a step further perhaps.... This is a simple e-mail with a simple request and all the effort - what if there is a string of "WTFs" coming out of your Lawyers office that --- when does it become time to say enough and the right thing to do is give up on your lawyer??? Compentency is one factor, cost, trust, Results?? But --- ok I am drowning, I am overwhelmed and am ready to drive my car into the wall and be done with it (so people understand, I am in a really not so good place right now - and I do not drive if I am like this - I will not hurt anybody else on the road) And maybe I am possibly stealing the thread so maybe I will start a new one?

          Frustratedwithex - can you go into your lawyer's office and get you own page? Sounds excessive but if it is there you should be able to go and get it. I was puzzled personally on what you are doing - don't understand - why are you after a particular document to include it in the order - I assume the court is making the order, is this a document the court requested from you for this purpose, that is to attach to the judge's order before releasing it???

          Edit - For me I actually do not think I would have this problem - aside from the two letters from my ex's lawyer, the brief he used for my recent SS Motion and I will never be able to get what is in his head (that being the 1 hour pre motion meeting one of the judges set up just prior to this last SS Motion. I have all my documents sitting with me in my motel room again for the last few weeks!!! (something I think was real hard for the lawyer to let go without coping the entire - 4 file boxes he had with all the bank records going far back to the disco days!!) And for some reason I am resisting returning them to him..........
          Last edited by ddol1; 01-05-2013, 08:11 PM. Reason: just thought of the disco days!!

          Comment


          • #6
            What I want to communicate to my lawyer is that I don't want to pay for the e-mails he has sent so far, and the e-mail he will now need to send to straighten this out.

            I am 4 years into this process and the end, or so I thought, should have happened before Christmas.

            After a very lengthy mediation process and then Arbitration, a final arbitration award was decided in October. That award needs to be made into a court order. The back and forth on the wording of this order is driving me crazy.

            This is what is so frustrating.

            The arbitrator left just enough from her award, that both lawyers and both clients, me and my ex., disagree on what she intended.

            This, in my experience is what all three lawyers involved do. Leave 1 small detail, or spelling mistake, (the arbitrators final award was full of them), or forget to attach a schedule, something that needs to be addressed in yet another e-mail. The award had to be re-written, (at my exs. request anyways), at a cost, to correct these mistakes.

            Comment


            • #7
              The arbitrators award was for support and property division.

              Attached to the arbitrators award was a spreadsheet listing all the property, vehicles, houses, bank accounts, investments, etc. In one of these columns, it simply said see attached schedule, there is no attached schedule.

              So in essence, there should be 2 attached schedules. One for all of the property, and another for this one particular stock account. This is what is missing, the stock account.

              Maybe I should just ask the ex. for it, maybe I should just e-mail the arbitrator for it, maybe the ex. should stop pretending it is missing, I don't know.

              What I do know for certain, is the chart that the ex. provided in mediation, when property division was agreed on, is not he same chart he provided in his exhibits during arbitration.

              Neither lawyer, or arbitrator picked up on this detail. I also did not see it at first.

              The ex. is very competent at using excel, its part of his job, the lawyers seemed to love this, had him produce spreadsheets throughout mediation, had him bring them to mediation on a flash drive, had him work with these files during mediation, changing data as we agreed on items.

              When the spreadsheet was submitted for arbitration, no one seemed to give it a second thought. We had seen it before, property division was agreed on before arbitration, this part was done.

              However, I noticed one line, one row in the spreadsheet was different, it was a newly added row. This makes a difference to the property division. This is why I want the ex. to provide this so that it can be part of the final order.

              Maybe it doesn't need to be, I don't know anymore. But when I did bring it to my lawyers attention, he did agree it was important and that we should ask for it.

              My lawyer then sent an e-mail, he asked for the wrong spreadsheet. I then had a phone conversation with my lawyer and further clarified that he had asked for the wrong schedule, he agreed.

              He sent another e-mail, and again asked for the wrong spreadsheet.

              I don't want to pay for this mis-communication, or for the next e-mail needed to straighten this out.

              The exs. lawyer has now suggested that we re-involve the arbitrator, partly because he is just as frustrated because he keeps sending the same document. A document that was included in the arbitration award.

              This is why I am so frustrated.

              Comment


              • #8
                you have absolutely nothing to lose by simply emailing your ex and asking him for correct spreadsheet attachment - he is probably equally as frustrated as you are

                I'd give it a try - why not?

                Comment


                • #9
                  I did experience something similar and to prevent this, I either reviewed the communication and made the correction before he sent it.

                  I found that lawyers do a lot mistakes, I even received the communication that was intended for another of his clients.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by arabian View Post
                    you have absolutely nothing to lose by simply emailing your ex and asking him for correct spreadsheet attachment - he is probably equally as frustrated as you are

                    I'd give it a try - why not?
                    Because I don't trust him.

                    Maybe I need to get over this.

                    The thing is, I think the lawyers need this so that it can be included in the court order, because it should be part of property division and my ex owes me money because of this.

                    At the time we were finalizing the property division, my ex. did not disclose these additional stocks. We continued in mediation for another 5 months and during this time he continued to keep these stocks undisclosed. Arbitration continued for another 5 months and during this time he continued to keep these stocks undisclosed.

                    Maybe this is the part I need to get over, the non-disclosure.


                    Originally posted by Moolight View Post
                    I did experience something similar and to prevent this, I either reviewed the communication and made the correction before he sent it.

                    I found that lawyers do a lot mistakes, I even received the communication that was intended for another of his clients.
                    Yes after 3 1/2 years with this lawyer, I understand mistakes happen. I have recieved communication and bills that were intended for another client, same first name as me, I get it.

                    My lawyer does not send me the e-mail before he sends it, so I have tried to correct after the fact.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by frustratedwithex View Post
                      My lawyer does not send me the e-mail before he sends it, so I have tried to correct after the fact.
                      I think that is the issue...when dealing with the lawyer in my bf's case, he always received communication from him lawyer prior to the lawyer sending it to his ex... you may want to request that your lawyer send you the communication to approve, prior to sending it on?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                        I think that is the issue...when dealing with the lawyer in my bf's case, he always received communication from him lawyer prior to the lawyer sending it to his ex... you may want to request that your lawyer send you the communication to approve, prior to sending it on?
                        this is a very good point. and I have asked the same on many an occasion actually. I did tell him more than once, doing something last minute, emailing it to me and I am crashed right out - I am not looking for emails - SO I come to at 7 or 8 pm and see it, full of errors and sent anyways at 4 30. What started most of my heartache in a way was the original application, the financials in a marathon, and I had no clue but a written affidavit accompanies the financials (answer is yes) I saw mine a long time after say when the reply came in and I asked what is she doing here? Is my ex out to lunch?? What the heck is she talking about marrital cruelty??? (yes the one that no body uses anymore)

                        So this one issue alone has happened too many times as well, it was discussed right from day one. (and I did get real upset over the first one), we hashed out our expectations and we moved on. I do have an issue, and that is no guarantee I am alive at any particu;ar time - I crash 9am just as easy as 10pm or anything inbetween and he knows this. So what it did do was get the ex's lawyer going off in all tangents, talking about the abuse charge (and I have no idea where that came from - we had discussed what she did after the "I want a divorce" day and it was because of my medical issues and ability to handle this level of stress was not realistic, well beyond my ability to cope and she would get me onto the floor crying (gosh I hate that, I even hate putting it here - embarassing but it is the reality) and to her this was time to increase the pressure/what I would later learn was a mental attack that for a healthy person, it would be shrugged off easy enough - Laughed at even??

                        The rest that follows is just the story - read "the gabbiness" should you choose, but I hadn't thought of this really until just now, I had really put round one in the lockbox, really do not think I even thought about it - just managed to hide the worst away and left it there....

                        Only due to the issues that are my reality and some of my "head space training" (I call this what others might say therapist/therapy!!) I would eventually learn that maybe my health could be the how, or even the why I would react in that fashion but the result is the trumping factor and based on th eresult her actions could easily be taken as emotional abuse. But this is far of topic, at least a tangent - but my lawyer had asked, I was fairly straight forward and clear, giving examples but never was it deamed abuse as depicted in the FLA.

                        This I will never know, but that move, the 5 maybe even 10 min of "rubbing it in" by my ex's lawyer, then another round by the judge - I think I really felt ill sitting there wondering what the hell am I going to do? Next move was he attached several pages that was never to go to the ex; actually it was some work sheets that he had asked me to create, that I actually took to a different level in bringing all the issues together , side by side and was really helpfull for me to keep the bigger picture, what I needed to do to get the proof.

                        That was seven months ago, there was more then but I bit my tongue and let the whole round go, next time we can get a few things on the table to begin getting this done with. Next time will be much better - I worked hard at improving communication, how it is done, expectations even - but I did not plan on next time having my lawyer stand up and spent 80% of his time talking about tragedy (judge slapped him down the first time he did that at the CC - last month, same judge "why are you doing this to me again??? whay are you wasting court tiime on this that is nothing, no law here - can you care to move on so everyone else can get on with their day???"

                        and it is still being brought up, and it is easier for my lawyer to blame me, I never called him on it (thin skin that I have) but If the ex's lawyer calls me X, even the Judge had her fun poking at me - perhaps I draw the line with my lawyer calling me dellusional for what in reality was what HE asked me to produce??? I know thin skin but still, he did this in the courtroom. Now I am officially off track and gabbing too much - but it is a few of the things on the ledger sheet of what is the right thing to do?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Instead of emails flying back and forth, perhaps meet with your lawyer in person say every month or so. Speak with him/her regarding your needs and requests previously written out by you, and reviewing documents (maybe these can be reviewed in part by his clerk with you in attendance thereby eliminating a lot of expense). If it's ok with you to have a reasonable friend or relative present this can also help.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I'd send an email to your ex's lawyer and cc a copy to your lawyer. I'd apologize for your lawyer's oversight in the matter and clarify the document you are requesting.

                            I don't think you have to make too big of a deal out of it - just watch for your next statement from the lawyer and if you have the opportunity you can politely email or ask him to indicate the credit for his errors.
                            Effective and to the point. This seems like an efficient and prudent resolution to the problem.

                            You may get your hands slapped for communicating directlly with your ex's lawyer.
                            Also a possibility, however if you are in the right, all parties involved should be satisfied with moving forward instead of spinning their tires.

                            he always received communication from him lawyer prior to the lawyer sending it to his ex
                            Some lawyers do this, others do not. It depends on the importance of the communication. Keep in mind, every time it bounces between lawyer and client before moving on, additional fees are incurred.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by frustratedwithex View Post
                              Yes after 3 1/2 years with this lawyer, I understand mistakes happen. I have recieved communication and bills that were intended for another client, same first name as me, I get it.

                              My lawyer does not send me the e-mail before he sends it, so I have tried to correct after the fact.
                              I just realized that I made a mistake and posted on your thread again instead of the one I thoought I was on - so it was never my intension to hijack your thread - I apologize there.

                              Did you come to a resolution on getting the right document in the right person's hands yet??

                              Comment

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