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  • I suggest you stick with what you told Mom and let her pick up Kid. This solution is fair to both of you, it is reasonable, it has been communicated to her clearly and politely, and unless you have an order which specifically says that you do the driving, you are not in contempt of court. You can't be "in contempt of" a ruling that doesn't exist yet. Your solution is also consistent with past practice in which Mom took care of transport.

    If you do bring Kid to Mom's tomorrow morning, after telling her that you expect her to pick Kid up, you'll be avoiding conflict on this one occasion but you'll be teaching Mom that what you say isn't to be taken seriously, she can ignore you and in the end you'll do what she wants anyway. I know it will be very stressful in the morning as you wait for Mom to show (or not), but I think you should hold to your plan. It's fair, reasonable, legal and backed by precedent.

    Don't be freaked out by Mom going on about you withholding Kid and how sole custody to her is the only possible option. That's her framing of the situation but it is not objective truth. From what you've shared here, there is no reason why joint custody should not be awarded by court.

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    • So what happened?

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      • I would presume that he drove D4 to mother's home early this morning. I agree that he didn't have to but he walks a fine line here in many regards. If he were to continue to "stand his ground" his actions could very easily be construed as 'high conflict.'

        Getting the kid up at 5:30 AM to drive to mother's home is ridiculous and certainly not in the best interest of the child IMO. However, it could be argued that many families deal with early wake-up times to accommodate children's extracurricular activities (swimming & hockey practices for examples).

        Mother is merely trying to create a big scene to support her argument that joint-custody is unworkable because the parents cannot communicate. Pretty obvious.

        Reading mother's last entry in communication book as posted earlier makes me want to puke. She clearly shows that she feels she "owns" the child. Power-grubbing whacko or what?

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        • I ran into "temporary" situation, somewhat like LF32's, with the dropoff/pickup of child.

          In my case though, I do all the driving, as Mom has no car. She will never have a car. lol.

          I have to dropoff child, on my way to work, early in the morning.

          When Mom first met her "current guy", pickups and dropoffs started becoming erratic for a period of time. I would get last-minute texts from her, saying, "I'll be at xyz address - you can drop child off there".

          xyz address was nowhere near her residence. It was clear across the city, in the opposite direction of where I have to work, and where she lives.

          I would text (email too, if more involved conversation) her back "(exname), I am unable to get to that end of town, on last minute's notice, to dropoff child, and also get to my work ontime. Why have you not made plans to be at home, for our agreed dropoff time/location? If you are not planning on being home like we agreed, then let me know what time you will be picking up "childname" during the day, or let me know when you will be available when I'm done work, and I can drop her off after work."

          Ex would call me/text me, ranting and screaming at me, because she wanted to stay at f$ck-buddy's house longer. It's hard to stay on script, but she would get the same options; When are you picking child up?

          Her: "You know I don't have a car! How am I supposed to pick her up?" (my thinking was, she found a way clear across the city to f@ck buddy's house, she could find her way back. FYI, I did not know it was f@ck-buddy's house - she would not tell me what the address was, of why she was clear across town, but it wasn't hard to figure out).

          Me: "You will have to give me more advance notice, if you are not going to be available at agreed location/pickup. If you can't pickup child, then I will drop her off when I'm done work today. In interim, you can pick her up from abc address babysitter. I'll let babysitter know".

          Not sure if this helped, or not.
          She ended up eventually moving in with the guy, forcing the extra drive on me anyway, since that eventually became her residence. But given more time, I was able to readjust my working schedule, and make arrangements with work, to accomodate for the extra driving time.

          Ex at time, would scream that I was withholding child, and she would take me to court over this because I was in contempt of court. I figured; she was being unreasonable, and technically, I was making child available to her - it just had to be adjusted, because ex was not making herself available at agreed locations/times. Not my fault, if ex suddenly can`t be at agreed time/location, with no reasonable notice.

          But I get that LF32 walks a line here. He is still in court process, and it's good to seem reasonable, and accomodating. It's very hard to know what to do, when you're facing these situations.
          Last edited by dad2bandm; 09-10-2015, 11:10 AM.

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          • Yup couldn't agree more Dad2, Everything (both parties do) and every angle (both parties are working) has to be wieghed against where in the court process the parties are.

            Basically LfF32 is working away on being the custodial parent

            Parents get 50-50 share of the kids (quasi legally implied JOINT) but in LF32's case Goldilocks stole his rights.(slander)

            And continues to manufacture slander and currently trying to IMPOSE restrictions on access to undermine Joint by provoking conflict (can't communicate agenda)

            This is were the RULES change...EX is hostile to any access (unless it's forced on her by the court)

            she cliams to be the primary parent..because she has stolen status quo

            But whatever Goldilocks dreams up for herself isn't the point.

            THE POINT is what IS in the best interests of D4....the childs right to spend time with the other parent.

            That's what Goldilocks forgets as she makes everything about herself

            Courts only care about the child's best interests.

            AND the parent that enures best interests of child (reasonable parent) ...gets the child.

            TWO parents fighting over every dirty trick by the other (communication breakdown...HELLO!..can you HERE ME!!!) is cancelled out by a Judge..but if one parent FIGHTS only with oneself...and the other smiles and is reasonable...anything can happen

            So LF32 is going to ENSURE that D4's right to see him is taken care of...regardless of the roadblocks anfd bridge out...Goldilocks does (hurts her own kid)

            and believe me....Goldilocks will be aggravated that LF32 didn't fall for the GAME...and didn't fight for his RIGHTS to access exchanges? which she wanted to lead to access denial. (his fault in her crafted confusion of course)

            He just went about ensuring D4's rights where taken care of.

            It's figured whatever LF32 has been doing in his matter is working...the pressure is on Goldilocks (fear)....and from that fear she decided to refuse sharing access exchanges and wanted to fight about it.

            She ain't working with her LAO scumbag lawyer...she has advisors

            Wrong point during the court process for the self procliamed "victim" to PICK FIGHTS.
            Last edited by MrToronto; 09-10-2015, 02:04 PM.

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            • ^^^^^

              Now we have LF's first name too.

              Mods, might want to remove his name posted by Mr. T.

              Soooo much posting. Errors will be made eventually.

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              • Looks like MrT corrected it already.

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                • Can't believe in the 10 seconds it took me to fix typo's ..a ignored person read it...logged in and gleefully posted a useless typo.

                  I'm creeped out...again...lmao

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                  • Originally posted by MrToronto View Post
                    Can't believe in the 10 seconds it took me to fix typo's ..a ignored person read it...logged in and gleefully posted a useless typo.

                    I'm creeped out...again...lmao
                    Obviously it wasn't 10 seconds.

                    And it certainly wasn't gleeful. You are projecting your own feelings onto things.

                    I wouldn't consider using LF's first name as "useless typo". I have now read his name, his daughter's name and their city in various posts. I know more about his work schedule and personal life than I do most real life acquaintances.

                    I am not on LF's ignore list as evidenced by his recent responses to my posts.

                    You can be creeped out. I don't care. I was actually genuinely asking a MOD to fix your mistake.
                    Last edited by SadAndTired; 09-10-2015, 04:30 PM.

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                    • I think the correct thing to do when this situation arises is to simply alert the mods or the poster (in this case Mr. T) of the oversight.

                      Difficult time for LF32. Last thing he needs is outside people complicating his life further. Knowing his name, name of daughter or where he lives is only useful for someone who wishes to cause him or his family harm.

                      There is a small child here to consider.

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                      • Originally posted by arabian View Post
                        I think the correct thing to do when this situation arises is to simply alert the mods or the poster (in this case Mr. T) of the oversight.

                        Difficult time for LF32. Last thing he needs is outside people complicating his life further. Knowing his name, name of daughter or where he lives is only useful for someone who wishes to cause him or his family harm.

                        There is a small child here to consider.
                        Sorry. That is what I thought I was doing. Is there a way to do that quickly without a public post?

                        And I would think the "harm" from public posting would come from the LAO lawyer or his ex finding his posts.

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                        • Originally posted by MrToronto View Post
                          Can't believe in the 10 seconds it took me to fix typo's ..a ignored person read it...logged in and gleefully posted a useless typo.

                          I'm creeped out...again...lmao
                          Welcome to my world. Same poster who happily put D4's first initial for the public not to long ago..

                          anyways....she's trying to engage.... ignore.

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                          • The little alarm button on the top right hand corner alerts the mods. I have used it in the past and found it works well and matters are dealt with quickly and efficiently.

                            If LAO lawyer or his ex find the posts I think they will be 'sucking a dry well' because I believe LF32 has been quite forthright in his posts that he only wants what is best for his daughter. Of course an unemployed "bum" like his ex, who has nothing better to do than to comb through thousands upon thousands of posts, might find a nugget here and there. LOL. Nothing would surprise me about her. I keep thinking about this woman claiming to be a victim of DV no less. She then proceeds to give him a blow-job and then takes off with the kid. IT turns out that she was plotting the whole thing for many months beforehand. I just can't shake that. She's no victim and it nauseates me that she can be an unemployed bum, get free legal assistance, housing etc. Kid is a meal ticket to her. Nothing more.

                            Anyhow, I digress.

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                            • Arabian's correct.

                              I'm upset at the situation of course. But I've said from the very beginning that I will always respect and promote ex's role in D4's life. Unfortunately she doesnt share the same view.

                              Yes, the story irk's a lot of poster's .. and they perhaps come up with names or titles .. but I dont.

                              Some poster's cringe at the fact that I dont "stick up for my ex" when these things are said. I have my views and other's have theirs. I don't think I have to defend my ex's actions or shut posters down for their opinions of her. Point is ... I haven't called her names. I tell the story of what's happening.

                              Some here are like ex. They instigate arguments (not give advice) to get a response .. just to call someone defensive. Any judge who reads these could see this.

                              Personally...if I see a name mentioned I go straight to HD or Blink via PM and notify them. I certainly don't put more attention on it by posting it publicly.

                              Moving on ....

                              Yes I did the drive this morning. D4 was woken way too early and I got stuck in morning traffic on the way home .. late to work .. where a young boy with autism was counting on me to be there to support him. Ex happily opened her door, PJ's and all, cup of Joe in her hand. Seemingly ready for a day of relaxation.

                              My eyes are barely hanging open and its time to work on school materials and my case (somehow) ... time for a cup of Joe myself.

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                              • Good case Rockscan. I think one of THE biggest problems LF32 has is that his lawyer is lousy. I'm sure LF32 will come to her defence and say that she does lots of work for him for free, however, we all know you get what you pay for.

                                I wouldn't be surprised if LF32's lawyer is totally unaware of the case you posted rockscan. Meanwhile LF32 continues to pay for this lawyer as well as her legal assistants to "do research" for applicable case law.

                                Good old ODF. Best resource. I know should I go to court and self-represent that this will be my first stop for advice/direction.

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