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REG: when does support end?

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  • REG: when does support end?

    I have a son who is now 21 going to university as I understand it, he does not talk to me as mother has alienated him from me. My question is when does support end, when can I terminate support for him?? And how do I got about it.

  • #2
    sorry forgot to say I am in Ontario not sure if that makes any difference or not. Any help is appreciated.

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    • #3
      As long as hes full time you continue to pay cs plus your share of his university expenses. You should be asking for proof of his enrollment to ensure hes full time.

      Two questions though: what does your order say and are you paying through FRO?

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      • #4
        Actually I have read case law where the condition of a child receiving support from father while going to university is for the the child to keep in contact with the parent and and keep them informed as to how they are doing in school. Often the child is held responsible to pay for a portion of his/her own tuition, particularly if they are recipients of scholarships and/or have a part-time or summer employment.

        You can review case law by going on CanLii.org. Select your province and then go to either "Court of Queen's Bench" or "Superior Court" and then put in some parameters for your search, such as "post-secondary education not payable by parents" or "ceasing child support when child in university" etc. If I come across some recent cases I will post them here. Another search parameter could be "ending child support for university parental alienation."

        I believe your son has an obligation to keep in touch with you. You are not an ATM and are entitled to know how he is doing in school and his coursework etc.


        Here is a case from BC which has some good references in it:

        https://www.canlii.org/en/bc/bcsc/do...resultIndex=11

        "I am of the view that where, as here, a mature child unilaterally terminates a relationship with one of the parents without any apparent reason, that is a factor to be considered by the trial judge in determining whether it would be “fit and just” to provide maintenance for that child. A father-child relationship is more than a simple economic dependency. … It seems reasonable to demand that a child who expects to receive support entertain some type of relationship with his or her father in the absence of any conduct by the father which might justify the child’s neglect of his or her filial duties."

        There are many cases like this on CanLii for you to peruse. I'd recommend reading them over carefully and see if any cases are similar to your own situation.
        Last edited by arabian; 03-08-2015, 04:22 PM. Reason: adding a case

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        • #5
          I am paying through the FRO, Not sure was to what my order says will have to look that up not even sure where the paper work is. If he doesn't want contact with me how do I find out if he is full time or not?? I have a daughter also who is younger 17 and I think she has moved out of the residence and living on her own, but how do I prove this??

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          • #6
            I think they are playing a game, my son will not speak with me, will not meet with me wants nothing to do with me but adds me to his facebook and messages me on my birthday. I wonder if this was done on purpose so he can say he has remained in contact so to speak? you would hope people are not this conniving but am I crazy to think they have done this on purpose??? if he doesn't want anything to do with me why add me to his facebook friends and only message me on my birthday.

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            • #7
              You need to read up on alienation, child support and definition of "children of the marriage." I don't believe his having you on his facebook page constitutes having a relationship with you. You have a right to be advised as to his course load and academic standing (marks). You also have a right to know his finances (which would indicate how much he is paying towards his own education, if any). Interesting to know that much weight is also put on whether your children attending post-secondary institutions was ever contemplated by you and your ex at any time during your marriage, as well as you and your ex's education (if you are a doctor with several degrees it would weigh heavily in your son's favour to continue to receive support from you to pursue a similar education). Beware of adult children who become "professional students" in order to not enter the working world.

              So don't get your knickers in a knot about your son's facebook until you get up-to-speed on everything and, of course, get all the facts. Then, if you are convinced that you have enough information go see your lawyer.

              Of course with all of this said I think it is admirable for any young person to pursue a higher level of education.

              You can get a copy of your court order from the court house or simply ask your lawyer to send you a copy.

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              • #8
                Does your son reside with Mom all year while he attends school? Or does he only return during breaks?

                Its my understanding that most judges dont believe its appropriate for a parent to be paying table amount when their kid is no longer living at home full-time. That table amount should only apply when the kid is living at home full-time and a reduced amount should be determined when the kid is away.
                Last edited by RLS; 03-08-2015, 08:07 PM.

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                • #9
                  Have you been paying your portion of the school costs? If yes, have they been providing receipts? If no then you need to send your ex a message stating you will be contacting FRO to cease cs payments as you have no proof hes in school. That should spur her into action. You will have to then pay your % of the expenses. Also call FRO and let them know you havent been provided any proof he is in school and need to find out about stopping support. Search this forum for cs ending and FRO. There is another dad on here who did this and paperwork was sent to his ex, she didnt send it back with proof and cs was stopped immediately.

                  Arabian found a good case (ill be printing that for my partners lawyer to read) but from what Ive found on canlii, alienation has limited bearing on a parents obligation to provide support for one post secondary degree. While every case is different, for the most part, the rule is the child pays a portion and the remainder is split between the parents proportionate to their income. Definitely do a search on canlii and call your fro caseworker. And prepare yourself to pay a portion of the school costs if you arent already. If you are, you shouldnt be paying anything without proper documentation.

                  As for the games...its a fact of divorce. I just had a rant about this last night. My partners ex refuses to accept the general rules on reimbursement and his kids are not speaking to him because he refuses to write a blank cheque every time they ask. If your ex is going to play this and encourage the kids to as well, call her bluff and force her to provide the paperwork to back up her claim.

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                  • #10
                    I don't know what he is doing as he won't talk to me. I am not paying any extra expenses for schooling, I have had no say in his life ever since he has turned 8 she pulled them away, spent thousands for court orders and she refused me access, cops would do nothing and so my court order was useless as no one would up hold it. I don't make much money don't have a degree or anything, and could not afford to pay for university education, he is going through for a doctor last I heard and not from him from another source. It is hard when you cannot know for certain what he's doing, living at home living away from home, how would I ever find this out?

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                    • #11
                      Then you call FRO and ask about ceasing support as you arent aware of him still being in school.

                      Dig out your agreement too and see what it says about post secondary. Prepare yourself for possibly having to pay a portion of his expenses.

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