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Common Law Issues The law regarding common law relationships is different than in cases of divorce. Discuss the issues that affect unmarried couples here.

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  #21  
Old 05-02-2014, 11:08 PM
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Janibel Janibel is offline
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Originally Posted by init'sowntime View Post


Sorry for the rant, but I'm stretched super thin this week. Any thoughts or advice would be welcome..

For what it's worth, you have done everything right from your end. The home was inspected and proven to be in a state of disrepair. Having her parents involved is probably a good thing since your STBX seems very unstable at this point in time.
You have photos and video documentation, all of your claims are factual and can be proven in court if need be. You've done everything you needed to do.

Waiting around for the other side to respect your settlement - that's the difficult part ... Perhaps sending a registered letter within 30 days, asking her to make this all 'official like'.

The stress and anxiety of it all can be horrible at times --- comes with the process of divorce. Try to relax for your health's sake, having known that you have done all that you could - for now at least.
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  #22  
Old 05-03-2014, 09:06 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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So after all is said and done the other side has had all week to draft this agreement and I've heard nothing...I'm starting to think that the stbx threw a tantrum at the agreement her parents and I reached and refuses to let it go forward. It could be that they backed out. I don't know.

this week has been a roller coaster and I was SO CLOSE to ending this. we agreed to a settlement, but now they've gone quiet. Her mother kept repeating this is a "good faith" agreement. It is a legal term, but can my ex refuse to see it through claiming she agreed to nothing? in the meantime I have to sit here because I can't do anything because we're in negotiation?

I'm feeling stuck, my stomach has been upset all week, I'm not sleeping well...I'm just having a hard time coping. I was so hopeful this was over. But I'm starting to wonder if this was a stall tactic. If her parents backed out on her how would I know? and If they have then how do I know when "good faith" negotiations are over? when she tries to get another protection order?

Sorry for the rant, but I'm stretched super thin this week. Any thoughts or advice would be welcome..
unless the parents are owners of the house or have some sort of legal control of their daughters life then they cannot make agreements for the house for her. Its up to the two registered owners to come up with a deal. Their daughter isn't legally binded IMO by whatever deal her parents made with you.
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  #23  
Old 05-05-2014, 02:19 AM
init'sowntime init'sowntime is offline
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
unless the parents are owners of the house or have some sort of legal control of their daughters life then they cannot make agreements for the house for her. Its up to the two registered owners to come up with a deal. Their daughter isn't legally binded IMO by whatever deal her parents made with you.
Standing on the sidelines: I hear you. Your right. I have been trying to work this out for a year now, but the protection order prohibited me from talking to her. I could only talk to her through her lawyer. That did nothing. I've been continually abused by the lawyer and there has been crap thrown at me from every direction. I wanted to call her mom and tell her what was happening with the assets so someone could step in and help her, but I couldn't risk arrest. Her family is fairly close by, but she only talks to them on the phone, and judging by the response from her parents, she was probably telling them everything was fine.

She's never had to take responsibility for anything in her life. I did everything for her (thinking i was doing the right thing) and her parents just throw money at her. I'm sure when they got to the house there was a huge fight. they would have been shocked at how dilapidated it's become (there were five people there when i came to inspect the interior of our home, all cleaning up and there was still cleaning buckets full of supplies, and wet towels all over the home. the house was still dirty with stuff piled all over the place and not one surface cleared of anything, and it smelled in there even with all the windows open). That was AFTER they had had at that point 48hrs to clean it...

they just want to dig her out of her hole. It sounded good, and I have a recording of the conversation too, where her parents agreed on the terms and said they would get everything drawn up. But again, your right. My ex probably threw a fit and refused to agree to the terms, and they left and went back home. I don't know I'm not sure whats happening. tomorrow is a week. The lawyer probably won't say anything. I could email mommy dearest and ask whats going on, but I'm scared it will tip the scales. my ex and her lawyer threatened another protection order if I called her, but I get nowhere with the lawyer either. What do I do?

I'm stressed to the max, and I was so hopeful. Now I'm just seeing this as a ruse to buy her more time in the house. But the "good faith" agreement thing...surely if I file an application now, the other side would claim litigation harassment or some such. There are too many things swirling around in my brain and I'm rambling.

I guess its not over, but I don't know what to do, and I'm growing so weary, I'm losing weight, I'm not sleeping well. It's been hard on my girlfriend too. This needs to end.
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  #24  
Old 05-05-2014, 07:33 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by init'sowntime;170029, I'm stressed to the max, and I was so hopeful. Now I'm just seeing this as a ruse to buy her more time in the house. [B
But the "good faith" agreement thing[/B]...surely if I file an application now, the other side would claim litigation harassment or some such. There are too many things swirling around in my brain and I'm rambling.

I guess its not over, but I don't know what to do, and I'm growing so weary, I'm losing weight, I'm not sleeping well. It's been hard on my girlfriend too. This needs to end.
the good faith agreement you reached with the exs parents doesn't count for squat. You best just forget anything they said they would/will do, they don't own the house so they have no legal right or obligation to any deal with the house.
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  #25  
Old 05-06-2014, 12:34 PM
smileandwalkaway smileandwalkaway is offline
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I had taken pictures before I left, pictures of what I took, and pictures of what I left behind, when I left the matrimonial home. Some time later I was invited to return to the house and take whatever I wanted before the house was list to bankruptcy I took pictures of a house filled with damaged items and/or garbage. I took nothing with me except for more pictures. My ex sent nasty emails because I did not take anything. My lawyer was not interested in looking at or pursuing anything. I lost everything. I hope things work out better for you.
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  #26  
Old 05-07-2014, 08:14 PM
init'sowntime init'sowntime is offline
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Smile and walk away: that's such a horrible thing to have to go through. I feel like I'm on the verge of losing everything. She wanted to keep the house, but refused to buy me out of it. she wanted me to just give it to her. The chattels that I was supposed to take, have been ruined beyond repair, and now she just wants to sweep it all under the rug, and keep everything.

The settlement offer was a joke. The three things that her family and I agreed to well, she said no to two of them.

I'm having a hard time swallowing that she actually wants me to let her walk away with 2/3 of our entire net worth together. The cash was meant to be in addition to the two other things I asked for.

we were so close...but i don't think i can sign off on this deal. it doesn't feel right to me that someone who made my life hell, hurt my business, hurt my family, and slandered me in a community of only 4000 people with the protection order, as well as destroyed my beloved truck, and the two other assets should just walk away with it all.

not to mention the purgery, contempt of court, and dissipation of the assets that she would have to take responsibility for in court. I'm thinking I say no to the deal, and apply to the courts for unequal division of the family home due to the dissipation of all the rest of the assets. Her half of the house equals approximately what the value of those three chattels were.

thoughts? if I do ask for unequal division do i have to amend my notice of family claim?
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