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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 04-04-2020, 01:52 PM
dad_needs_help dad_needs_help is offline
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Default Covid19 concern for kids

X and I have a week about schedule. However the girls have been with me for 2 weeks because girls are feeling scared but they are scheduled to go back to their mother this sunday.
X has been texting and calling them constantly telling them they have to go back.
She is a nurse working full time in a hospital but not bedside as of yet. She said she may get called bedside anytime.
I am still attending my work in an office 2 to 3 times a week. Off schedule with co worker so there is no close contact with others.
I have wife and her son home all day because of non essential work.
Girls have shown concern having to go back to moms. They are 13 and 16.
I have concerns as well but also have read the newest ruling regarding covid19 with kids having access on both sides.
X is insisting they go back. Once there, they will be compromised by their mothers work place. She is also away from home 11 hrs each day.
I find it in the girls best interest and health at this time they should remain within my home. They have been in daily contact with their mother.
I understand that other people are in this situation but they are placing their children with relatives away from their home.
When given the option of a safer home, why would a parent not even consider this?
Once they go to her house, they cannot come back because of risk factor as my wife has a compromised immunity... they will be subjected to possible threat everyday she comes home from work. Isolation starts at day 1 every day.
There are alot of cases and deaths in our area of covid19 right now.
I am not trying to keep the girls from their mother, that is why I am sending them with her tomorrow at her insistence, however, it would be so much better if she put them first and think of their risk factor.
What are others doing who are within the health field and have no choice but to keep them home or do have a choice to place their children elsewhere in a safe environment?
Even tho I have no choice, am I being unreasonable having this fear and concern? I will find it hard to accept anything happening to them knowing the risk factors.
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Old 04-04-2020, 04:16 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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I have a number of friends who are either in the health sector or are married to someone in the health sector. They havenít stopped going home or being around their family while they are working including two friends who are married to ER nurses. I am also sure that your ex is taking the proper measures that are given to front line workers for when they get home.

As scary as this is, they are her children too and she is capable of keeping them safe. You are not only obligated to adhere to the parenting schedule but all encourage your kids to not be afraid of being around their mom.
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Old 04-04-2020, 05:32 PM
dad_needs_help dad_needs_help is offline
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Thank you and yes I agree. Doesn't help my concern but I definitely see from both sides.
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Old 04-04-2020, 05:38 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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If things were reversed would you willingly give up your time with your kids indefinitely?
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Old 04-04-2020, 05:48 PM
dad_needs_help dad_needs_help is offline
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I am and will be.
Once they leave they will be remaining. The courts are asking parents to choose the best scenario and that would be with me. Since she is not willing then they go to her tomorrow and will be comprised and be remaining there.
It should not be about time spent but should be more about best Interest for their health and our health over a lifetime.

Last edited by dad_needs_help; 04-04-2020 at 05:49 PM. Reason: Words left out
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Old 04-04-2020, 08:36 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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I think you are being ridiculous. You said yourself she is not on the front lines of it NOW. If she was working in a long term care facility I would see your point. There are hundreds of people working on the front lines and there havenít been jumps in their cases. In this situation kids need to know it is safe to be with both their parents and for you to support their mother and believe that she wouldnt put her childrenís lives at risk. You asked if you were being unreasonable and the answer is yes you are being unreasonable. This is their mother not some aunt or grandparent or distant relative.
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Old 04-04-2020, 09:26 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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It is rarely best interest of child to keep them away from other parent. You indicated what you thought BIC was, and that is YOUR opinion. I am sure your exís opinion would be different. Same with a judge. Careful you arenít treading on water that would see you lose custody or your 1/2 parenting time. Weíve seen it before where unreasonable parties play silly and lose more than they bargained for.

Keep the parenting plan as per your agreement, court order or status quo.
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Old 04-04-2020, 09:35 PM
Abba435 Abba435 is offline
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Covid has so many unknowns. Many true experts are saying extreme measures are needed. And sadly the movement of our precious kids between homes is not simple.
You are being very reasonable to be concerned.
The word reasonable is critical here.
It means what a person that is capable and informed would do in the same circumstances.
There are no hard and fast rules here. So reasonable takes even more importance. Then throw in the inherent issues of co-parenting , personalities, history etc etc and you have a bomb waiting to blow.
My two cents are to try to agree on strict adherence to not just social distancing but family isolation. No visitors, no family visits, nothing. Strict sanitation coming and going.
It is reasonable for people to go to work if essential.
It is not reasonable to breach very high risk mitigation measures as I have partially listed.
And it is not reasonable to impose access restrictions unless there is compelling proof of the children being placed in harm's way.
Everyone needs to be extremely reasonable.
Even then there is no guarantee
Peace.
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Old 04-05-2020, 08:48 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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This article was very enlightening especially since it references a case (details withheld for privacy reasons) of a father who used your exact argument and the judge sided with the health care worker mother.


https://www.theglobeandmail.com/cana...ccess-battles/
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Old 04-05-2020, 10:08 AM
Abba435 Abba435 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
This article was very enlightening especially since it references a case (details withheld for privacy reasons) of a father who used your exact argument and the judge sided with the health care worker mother.


https://www.theglobeandmail.com/cana...ccess-battles/
From the same articel
"The next big wave will likely be disputes over support payments, as people who have been laid off or are otherwise unable to work try to renegotiate terms with their exes"
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